Just finished feeding the clan Ketch. Mrs Ketch aka Mrs Rochester wanders by on her way to the bathroom to perform whatever après-feed things women do (piss? shit? vomit??-well it was my infamous 'get a waiver from your cardiologist' lasagna!).

As she passed by me she came and whispered in my ear in her best 'i want your cock' voice (don't deny it girls, you all have one!)

"hmmm my love, I'm really wet down there" then she went on towards the bathroom.

Two minutes later youngest offsprung comes running up to tell me that mommy is out of san-pads!

Guess which idiot has just had to walk to the local store in the dark,cold Norfolk winter?

(and cos it's a small local store I got all the 'OMG a man buying sanitory products , he must be a child sex-murderer!!!11 'looks )



[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-18-2006).]

My husband bought me some pads recently when I was caught unawares without any. He bought the wrong kind, though, so I ended up having to go back for more!

Why didn't you just drive if the weather was so bad??

Damn I know what you mean about the weather. Walking back at 5 from the bus stop today I was freezing my bollocks off. Damn fen coldness

rofl

There's wet...and then there's wet...I guess...

You forgot to add: "OMFG! A 6 FOOT SKINHEAD BUYING PADS! LETS LOOK AT HIM AND TRY TO MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY BEFORE BE CURBSTOMPS EACH AND ONE OF US!!" Lol-le-rei!

But well, even it's embarassing sometimes, you can always say out loud: "WHAT? I GOT GIRLFRIEND AND YOU NOT!" while pointing all the nerds hidden under the porn mag section.

I've always thought 'Paddy' should be a woman's nickname & not a man's...

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

I've always thought 'Paddy' should be a woman's nickname & not a man's...

Lol, WTF? I can just imagine someone calling "Paddy" jacketch... Violence insues!

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

My husband bought me some pads recently when I was caught unawares without any. He bought the wrong kind, though, so I ended up having to go back for more!



How many kinds of vaginas are there?

jackketch, Norfolk winters aren't that harsh. Anyway, I thought you were from the south?

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

How many kinds of vaginas are there?

jackketch, Norfolk winters aren't that harsh. Anyway, I thought you were from the south?



I am but I am forced at the moment to live in the Diaspora.

A place where supermarkets shut at night, where the nearest Mc Donalds is 25 miles away, where the last exciting thing to happen (besides the rather passé witch burning) was the viking invasion.

God's Own Country, a land of rain, sugar beet and girls who lose their virginity behind public toilets to their brothers.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-18-2006).]

I had a man offer to pick up some tampons for me when I got snowed in at his house. I had worked all night, then drove an hour to his place and was utterly exhausted when I got there. He told me to take a nap instead of going with him. Before he left I handed him a note and told him I could only use this specific kind of tampon:

"Tampax Slender Regular"

The look on his face when he read that was priceless as he rushed out the door. (and that was before I had sex with him)

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

God's Own Country, a land of rain, sugar beet and girls who lose their virginity behind public toilets to their brothers.

And he rags on us Americans....

It aint that cold out right now jeez.

I will sympathize with you on the rest of the story.

I have never been the least bit embarrased by buying pads or tampons. I mean, I know I am not going to use them, and if they are smart, they should know I'm not using them...

Before I finish reading all of that, I have to say: stop using french words like apres and chez in your posts, you pretentious fuck.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



As she passed by me she came and whispered in my ear in her best 'i want your cock' voice (don't deny it girls, you all have one!)



ohhh man, EVERY girl has one.

[This message has been edited by tainteddd (edited 12-19-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Why didn't you just drive if the weather was so bad??

Xiao, that's a horrible attitude to have.

Cars are used for such wasteful things. They're designed to cover long distances at a relatively constant high speed, not go down to the shops because you're lazy.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

[...]not go down to the shops because you're lazy.

That's why you have CHILDREN!!

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Xiao, that's a horrible attitude to have.

Cars are used for such wasteful things. They're designed to cover long distances at a relatively constant high speed, not go down to the shops because you're lazy.

I almost always walk myself, but he said it was cold and raining. Why is it lazy to take the car in bad weather? He'll just get sick again, walking around all cold and wet. *shrugs*

quote:Originally posted by Cloaked Dagger:



And he rags on us Americans....

There is a lot of... inbreeding in the fens.

Spalding is the most notorious place for inbreeding, and the rumour is that in Wisbech there is only 4 different families, and they just interbreed.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

That's why you have CHILDREN!!

LOL... indeed.

I don't know why people worry about buying tampons and pads so much.

quote:Originally posted by shiva:

LOL... indeed.



See now, you're too perfect for anyone to just let escape...

Lol in canada at the moment we dont have winter its more still fall

I now only buy my tampons at the corner shop staffed entirely by Pakistani, Muslim men.

The reactions are always priceless.

Jx

quote:Originally posted by Jessic:

I now only buy my tampons at the corner shop staffed entirely by Pakistani, Muslim men.

The reactions are always priceless.

Jx



LOL , you've heard of the 'Satanic Verses'? Now there is Satan's Cotton Fingers! (http://tinyurl.com/9ylmc)

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



LOL , you've heard of the 'Satanic Verses'? Now there is Satan's Cotton Fingers! (http://tinyurl.com/9ylmc)

I've seen that before somewhere - my favourite part is:

quote:Due to the nature of this event, the roasting of hot dogs will be prohibited for obvious reasons.



Jx