Its been alousy day so far in Chez Ketch. The computer repair job I have taken on has turned into the usual nightmare and Windows is being a bitch (so nothing new there!)

To make things worse I didn't get much sleep.

Eldest caught me at the wrong moment and finally I dropped the Sword of Damocles straight on his thick head.

EITHER HE HAS A JOB (legal or otherwise it don't much matter ) or A COLLEGE/TRAINING PLACE BY HIS 18th BIRTHDAY (March) OR HE IS OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!

(he gets a job or whatever then i'll happily keep him in sk8ter boots and ciggies for as long as it takes).

Since leaving school aged 16 he has done nothing...oh my bad ...I forgot...he got a college place and went for ONE WHOLE DAY! (how did he survive the effort?)!

Yes I know the jobs around here are all minimum wage but for fucks sake he would be living here almost free and they'd keep him in new skateboards and emo-goth clothes.

But no, he spends all day listening to the absolute shit he calls 'music' and only appears to steal money or fags from me or his brothers.

He has got a shed load of intelligence and also talent. He talks about becoming a Pro-Sk8ter and truth be told , talentwise he probably could but of course anything beyond skating up and down the road outside the house (in the dark dressed in black...) is far too much fuckin effort.

So totse, am I being the Dad from Hell? I don't really care what he does if he just fuckin did something, anything!

I can't believe you've let him sponge off you for this long. You definitely did the right thing, he needs to get something done with his life.

I don't understand why you've let him off so easily this long... but thats possibly slight bitterness as Ive been unemployed for a total of three weeks since I left college.

How long have you been unemployed yet he doesn't see you sitting around on your arse, neither should he be allowed to.

The ultimatum is in his best interest, yes?

However, remember how you react to ultimatum's? Does he react the same way?

Sometimes, I think one of the problems with being a liberal parent is that it does little to create a desire to move out on your own in some children. I couldn't wait to leave, and did so at age 18. I can't imagine life any other way either.

Talk to him and maybe find out his fears regarding becoming a responsible adult?

You already blew up, now's probably the time to discuss things more thoroughly.

Well done.

It's sounds like the right choice.

Good job, man. Though, I can't believe you let the little jackass drop out at 16. What were you thinking, man?

You're doing him actual harm by allowing his laziness to continue.

Stick by this ultimatum or your son will end up a total bum and his brothers will probably follow in his example.

Oh and for the love of GOD stop giving him money!!

What does his mother think?

[This message has been edited by Xiao Mei (edited 12-18-2006).]

As you know Jack, if you allow a teenage guy to bum around all day living for free, they will do that as long as they can.

Now he has an ultimatum, he will go and get a job/college.

Nope, I think you are doing everything right. You gave him an option, get a job or I am going to kick you out.

He also has a good amount of time, plus it is around Christmas time now so it should be easy to get a job. Pro skater? In Europe? Probably not going to happen.

Pro anything is a long shot, and I would let him do that if he was outside, ALL the time skating. Since he didn't have a job, if he was outside 24/7 making videos of himself and promoting himself then I would leave him be for a while.

Otherwise, sounds like he just wants to be lazy.

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Good job, man. Though, I can't believe you let the little jackass drop out at 16. What were you thinking, man?

16 is when you leave high school here in England, where jack is

I left when i was 15 in year 10 (2nd to last year) and regretted it, now im 18 and in college, i suggest that he go to college rather than get a job.....it will open up a new world of choice to him than he has now with only GCSEs.

Fucking hell, if your sons farted differently you'd start a new thread.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:



Oh and for the love of GOD stop giving him money!!





Legally it is HIS money. So he is entitled to some of it i guess. I don't give him much anyways. At the moment he gets $40 a week and a 2oz pouch of baccy (simply its a lot cheaper for him if i buy it on the blackmarket). SO hardly a fortune. He is entitled to double that but i take half for something towards his food and keep.

You are not being a bad father at all. It sounds like he is being very unreasonable. I just turned 18 myself, and I wouldn't expect my parents to put up with that.

If he left school at 16, I think he should go to a college and get some A levels. Then he can come to med school with me...

Obviously if further education was out of the question for whatever reason, he should get a job anyway to start paying his way... And if he really is good enough to be a pro skater, he needs to start taking part in contests and seeing about getting sponsored.

So stick to your guns on this one. That's what I think anyway

Lazarus

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Legally it is HIS money. So he is entitled to some of it i guess. I don't give him much anyways. At the moment he gets $40 a week and a 2oz pouch of baccy (simply its a lot cheaper for him if i buy it on the blackmarket). SO hardly a fortune. He is entitled to double that but i take half for something towards his food and keep.

I don't get it...Why is he entitled to $80 per week?

Also, her may seem like "just a kid" to you, making it hard for you to be firm with him, but...When I was your son's age I was already married and keeping house for my husband. I made this transition after being EXTREMELY sheltered by my parents and it was very difficult in some ways, but I stumbled through it. Your son needs motivation to shape up...It's like Outcast said: He's too comfortable at home! Living with my parents was like living in HELL, so I couldn't wait to leave.

Maybe don't give him money unless he's done specific chores? Don't let him bring his girlfriends over? I don't even know what I would do in your situation.

As an 18 year old guy, I'd say you're doing the right thing. I've felt bad just living off my folks since I got out of high school, but I couldn't get a decent job in this shithole town at 17. I've already been out looking for a job after turning 18 about a week ago.

If he hasn't got a job yet I can guarantee it's not just because he's too lazy. I suggest you leave it alone for now, if you keeping going on about it you'll just piss him off. Maybe bring it up once or twice a month. Then once he's turned 18 if he hasn't sorted it out put the pressure on.

My mam used to do all sorts of annoying little things, like buy the news paper and leave it open on the jobs page. Or when she saw me on the computer she walk by and say something like "You can have a look at the job while you're there". Doesn't sound bad, but when she did it every single day it got to me.

quote:Originally posted by The Spirit Of Jazz:

Doesn't sound bad, but when she did it every single day it got to me.

Cry me a river, you fucking bum... anyone can find a job, but must be prepared to deal with minimum wage until something better comes along.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:



If your experiences at home were hell as you said, maybe you shouldn't be giving advice here, no offense.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Its been alousy day so far in Chez Ketch. The computer repair job I have taken on has turned into the usual nightmare and Windows is being a bitch (so nothing new there!)

To make things worse I didn't get much sleep.

Eldest caught me at the wrong moment and finally I dropped the Sword of Damocles straight on his thick head.

EITHER HE HAS A JOB (legal or otherwise it don't much matter ) or A COLLEGE/TRAINING PLACE BY HIS 18th BIRTHDAY (March) OR HE IS OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!

(he gets a job or whatever then i'll happily keep him in sk8ter boots and ciggies for as long as it takes).

Since leaving school aged 16 he has done nothing...oh my bad ...I forgot...he got a college place and went for ONE WHOLE DAY! (how did he survive the effort?)!

Yes I know the jobs around here are all minimum wage but for fucks sake he would be living here almost free and they'd keep him in new skateboards and emo-goth clothes.

But no, he spends all day listening to the absolute shit he calls 'music' and only appears to steal money or fags from me or his brothers.

He has got a shed load of intelligence and also talent. He talks about becoming a Pro-Sk8ter and truth be told , talentwise he probably could but of course anything beyond skating up and down the road outside the house (in the dark dressed in black...) is far too much fuckin effort.

So totse, am I being the Dad from Hell? I don't really care what he does if he just fuckin did something, anything!

are you fuck jack he should be workin lol



i'm 15 and i want a proper job now lol



<3 ketch