Well, me and my girlfriend split up. Not because anyone cheated, or anytihng like that. Her grandad's dying and her way of coping is bottling it all up. Her education is getting on top of her, and she's trying to concentrate on that too.

My question/need for advice is; How do I go back to going out with her?

We were serious, we still are, but.. I can't do anytihng too outlandish, seieng as we're both in education etc. I just need advice on how to get her back.

So, anyone?

Why did you break up in the first place?

If it was because of your 'education' then you probably shouldnt be together. Life in general is hectic, busy, and hard work. If you cant make time for each other then it probably wasnt meant to be.

Wait. Be there for her whien you can as a friend. Wait until her life is more capable.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Why did you break up in the first place?

If it was because of your 'education' then you probably shouldnt be together. Life in general is hectic, busy, and hard work. If you cant make time for each other then it probably wasnt meant to be.

We broke up because she doesn't know how to react, what with her grandad dying. She normally bottles it up and keeps to herself, but, as I'm her first serious boyfriend, she's completely at a loss as to what to do.

Couple that with my strain of being told that the child I thought was mine isn't, and we were both under a strain that we tried to talk about and couldn't.

But I've sorted mine out, I need to help her, and then get back with her.

Currently im working on getting back with my ex.

Its slow progress, and im not getting very far fast, but its work in progress

quote:Originally posted by reject:

Currently im working on getting back with my ex.

Its slow progress, and im not getting very far fast, but its work in progress

See, I've the same problem. I mean, I went over today and gave her the Christmas presents I bought awhile back, and then we ended up laughing, joking, kissing, cudlding, everything like that.. But each time we both stopped and moved away because we're not together.

There's a connection, it's just a case of me needing to find the right way of reconnecitng it.

Right, I decided on a course of action. I'm gonna leave it for awhile, maybe a month, maybe two. that way, it's long enough for me to sort myself out (a friend just died, etc) and her to sort herself out. I've bought a guitar to help keep my occupie,d but I need other suggestions.

Oooh, and suggestions on whether, when I intend to get her back, I should go the emotional route, or try for "seduction".

Any ideas?

Go emotional and let her make the first seduction move. That way you can be sure to know that it is what she wants.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Why did you break up in the first place?

If it was because of your 'education' then you probably shouldnt be together. Life in general is hectic, busy, and hard work. If you cant make time for each other then it probably wasnt meant to be.

quote:Originally posted by Cruelorgasm:

Couple that with my strain of being told that the child I thought was mine isn't

There's your problem.

Maybe you guys can give me advice (something other than "just get over it")

I've been going out with this girl for 5 months, but we've been close for almost a year, and I've known her for like 3 years. Everything was amazing, I was more happy than I have ever been in my life. I spent thanksgiving with her, and she went to see It Dies Today with me at the palladium the next night.. which was nice of her because she doesn't like metal. The next night we hung out and she fell asleep... After a while I covered her up and kissed her on the cheek and left. That was the last time I saw her. All of a sudden, she didn't call me tuesday morning, and she didn't pick up when I called her on my break at work. That has never happened since we started going out.

I asked her about it on the internet the next day and she said she was sorry, that she just felt like she needed to be single for a little while. She was stressed about her finals at college, her friends had been pressuring her to hang out with them, and stuff like that.. she just wanted some time to think things through and spend some time with her family, and then we could get back together. She promised she would not get with anyone else, she said she still loved me and still cared about me, and that she just wanted to be friends for a little while.

Doesn't seem that bad right? Well, I'm not one to get upset or emotional, so I guess I don't really know how to handle it when I do... because of that, after two days of being friends and assuring each other we still loved each other, I destroyed it all by guilting her and making her feel bad, and she stopped talking to me.

I figured she just needed a little space, so I left her alone for a few weeks.. then I called her and she didn't pick up. I waited a few more days and sent her a myspace message that just said I miss her and I hope she did well on her finals. No reply... I called her one or two more times after that and she didn't answer. Soon enough it was almost christmas and I wanted to give her the presents I had bought for her, so I called her mom and asked if I could drop them off with her, and she could give them to Natasha for me, but she said "let me check with her first"

So she sent me a myspace message basically just saying she didn't think she could accept them because we weren't together anymore, and that she still wanted to talk after things have cooled off. I replied just to aplogize for how I acted at first, it was just because I was upset, that it's safe to talk to me because my mind isn't clouded with emotion and I wasn't going to guilt her or make her feel bad anymore. She didn't reply.

I just don't understand how she can just drop me like that. We were so close, closer than I have ever been to someone. She felt the same way, unless she was lying to me. I've never been in such a forgiving and understanding relationship before.. and that's why I can't understand why she won't talk to me now. It's christmas day... I called her once, but she didn't pick up and she didn't call me back. That boggles my mind.

I talked to my dad today, he said he saw her at CVS last night (She works there, but wasn't working at the time) and he said she looked really depressed, so maybe she does miss me, maybe she feels like she messed things up? If she felt like that though, she must know that I would forgive her in a heartbeat...

I really need help with this, I can't figure it out on my own because I've never been close to someone like this. I think she feels the same way and that this is just some crazy girl phase she's going through. I don't really know... I don't really know anything, she won't talk to me so all I can do is propose a bunch of theories. I'm totally clueless.

Maybe someone with a fresh perspective can help me out. I would really appreciate it.

[This message has been edited by Clowd (edited 12-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Cruelorgasm:

...Couple that with my strain of being told that the child I thought was mine isn't...

You need to elaborate on this. You thought you got her pregnant but found out it wasn't yours? Or was this with another girl?

But overall I think yoyobek was spot on with her assessment.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

...If it was because of your 'education' then you probably shouldnt be together. Life in general is hectic, busy, and hard work. If you cant make time for each other then it probably wasnt meant to be.