Or is my friend overreacting? Here's the story.

Recently a friend of mine has been, what seems to be, ignoring me to the point that its almost avoiding me.

Until, of course, we have classwork. Then she's magically my "buddy" and makes a straight beeline to me. After the work is done, she has no use for me and goes off on her own business.

It hasn't always been like this, but it fluctuates randomly. Sometimes she'll act like I'm a friend, and other times she'll act like I am an answer book (see above).

So I decided I'm going to put an end to this roller coaster and just find out what the hell is going on. Today in class I just finally said to her "Why do you ignore me unless it's profitable to you?", to which she got pissed off at me and denied she ever ignored me.

I have a class with her tomorrow where I expect I'll be able to discuss it with her, but was I right to be as blunt as I was?

She is using you, and she's just mad that you know about it because it makes her look bad. Don't help her anymore. You don't benefit from it at all, and she's not even acting like a friend. Believe me, I've been there.

Heck yes, you were right. If you're confused about anything you should always be able to ask.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

She is using you, and she's just mad that you know about it because it makes her look bad. Don't help her anymore. You don't benefit from it at all, and she's not even acting like a friend. Believe me, I've been there.

Nailed it.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought I acted right.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

She is using you, and she's just mad that you know about it because it makes her look bad.

It wasn't "you made me look bad, fuck off" anger, it was more of a hurt anger. She doesn't have anything to lose (exchange student), so I don't think that matters to her.

blunt is the way to go.

My friends all sorta make fun of my bluntness(not in a bad way) sometimes it gets me into a bit of shit but it is just the way i am.

I woulda done the same thing....

quote:Originally posted by nau06248:

blunt is the way to go.

Ive found that oftentimes I am too blunt. It's hard for me to tell when I need to soften up, TOTSE has warped me to the point that nothing bothers me.

quote:So I decided I'm going to put an end to this roller coaster and just find out what the hell is going on. Today in class I just finally said to her "Why do you ignore me unless it's profitable to you?", to which she got pissed off at me and denied she ever ignored me.

you didn't even need to ask her what's going on, her ACTIONS tell you what's going on.

what is happening is she doesn't like you and has no interest in you, but she will tolerate you at the expense for getting her schoolwork done. that's why when she doesn't need schoolwork done she AVOIDS you.



quote:I have a class with her tomorrow where I expect I'll be able to discuss it with her, but was I right to be as blunt as I was?

what the fuck do you need to discuss with her?? we already know WHY she acts the way she does. do you expect her to admit it to you or something?? because that isn't gonna happen.

and please man don't even kid yourself into thinking you are were being "blunt" or harsh with her... if anything you are acting like a pussy for putting up with this shit. stop playing the role of her homework bitch and CUT HER OFF NOW! I mean how can you even stand for such blatant disrespect..

quote:Originally posted by DENKDAN:

if anything you are acting like a pussy for putting up with this shit. stop playing the role of her homework bitch and CUT HER OFF NOW! I mean how can you even stand for such blatant disrespect..

It only just recently got to the point where she avoided interaction with me. I chose to act as soon as it became apparent she was no longer interested in being friends.

The goings-on are more in depth than I've detailed, but it's not just black and white.

quote:Originally posted by DENKDAN:

what the fuck do you need to discuss with her?? we already know WHY she acts the way she does. do you expect her to admit it to you or something?? because that isn't gonna happen.

I'm through giving her any help, but I will still give her the option of continuing the friendship. Judging from her reaction and a few other things it goes deeper than just what I'm posting.

I wouldnt talk to her anymore. She is def in the wrong. If she really wants to be your friend then she will recognize this and confront you about it. If she doesnt then she isnt worth your time

Talk to her once and only once. She may have a good reason for not being around.

I wouldn't put up with any run-around though. It's just as possible she's being a coniving bitch and does/doesn't realize she's that way.

I am in a similar situation: A mutal friend of this girl i like and myself told me that she was only using me for money and drugs, thought he really didnt know. I tell her about it and shes like "hes just being a bitch that not how i am", and then a few days later gets pissed at him for saying it. So i have no fucking clue.

but anyway, just talk to her, that usualy works the best.

Start feeding her wrong answers