So say, after a big fight following a fairly serious (in my eyes, anyway) sexual mishap, your boyfriend/girlfriend says that they're willing to give the relationship one more chance, after all the chances given already, but they're not sure if they're willing to do anything sexual for a while.

Would you be ok with it? Would you be ok with going from fairly regular sex, to no sex for an undecided period of time, in the hopes of saving the relationship?

Explain sexual mishap!

Did you burn his penis with hot wax repeatedly, or have an "accident" during anal sex?

I'm curious..

It's hard to gauge.

Hey Demoiselle, from my understanding my just past relationship was very similar to yours.

Give a bit of detail, and I'm pretty sure I can give a pretty relevent opinion.

ya for sure no matter what happen, good things are worth waiting for. When you do resume I bet it is hotter then ever

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

Explain sexual mishap!

Did you burn his penis with hot wax repeatedly, or have an "accident" during anal sex?

I'm curious..

It's hard to gauge.

Haha, no, it wasn't a funny sexual mishap. It was a "not wanting sex, being very clear about it, pushing him away and turning away repeatedly until finally freaking out, pushing him off and leaving" mishap.

Ouch!! hold on didn't know that. you may want to rethink this. It is a piss off when ever your rejected for sex but it still shouldn't result in you having to push him away to make him understand.Once you have said no and he has had a chance to gravel and beg a little then he needs to accept it

Yeah, that's just creepy verging on 'rape'.

No means no. He's in a relationship with you, which means he should take ANY no in regards to sex VERY personally, and not question it.

He fucked up. Don't bother giving him a second chance. From what you've told me your relationship is already fucked.

Leaving him, while hurting, will also feel liberating at the same time. Iz j00 hot? Go be single for a while.

Honestly...persistance after a clear "no" was given is just fucked.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Yeah, that's just creepy verging on 'rape'.

No means no. He's in a relationship with you, which means he should take ANY no in regards to sex VERY personally, and not question it.

He fucked up. Don't bother giving him a second chance. From what you've told me your relationship is already fucked.

Leaving him, while hurting, will also feel liberating at the same time. Iz j00 hot? Go be single for a while.

Honestly...persistance after a clear "no" was given is just fucked.

I know. I've been told I have communication problems though, he's said it to me lots. I don't think that's an excuse though. Ugh, sad. Our relationship was going sooooooo good for a while. Like, surreally perfect.

did you actually say "no, i dont want to have sex"

???

quote:Originally posted by nau06248:

did you actually say "no, i dont want to have sex"

???

Yeah. More than once, actually. We were just play fighting and junk.

From some of the other posts it seems that your relationship wasn't exactly the best...

If that's the case, then maybe this is the chance for you to end it, and get away from him for a while.

If, on the other hand, things are going well, then I'd suggest talking to him instead. Let him know that no sex means no sex. If you don't want to end the relationship, then don't. I'd say that if it's still a good, enjoyable relationship, then no sex for a while would be worth it to save. If the relationship is dying (kinda the impression I got) then maybe let it go now.

well if he understood it and continued then he not whorth it, in my opinion. No means no...

But if he thought it was all part of the 'fun' then maybe he just didnt understand what you actually ment.

It is hard to say though not knowing what exactly went on.

If he really likes you and appreciates you then not having sex for a while will ultimatly not matter to him. But if he is a bit of a dick then he will leave.

[This message has been edited by nau06248 (edited 12-14-2006).]

Either you don't like this guy, or you're going to end up one of those crazy single cat ladies, sooner rather than later.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Either you don't like this guy, or you're going to end up one of those crazy single cat ladies, sooner rather than later.

Haha, I freaking hate cats. Crazy... horse lady?

Big D the horse lady?

Alright, you know what he did was quite rude. It's really a judgement call. If he's practically raping you, then I'd think sex is high on his priority list.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Big D the horse lady?

Alright, you know what he did was quite rude. It's really a judgement call. If he's practically raping you, then I'd think sex is high on his priority list.

That's what I said!!! He said I'm more important though... typical line, right?

Big D the horse lady... HAH.

Awwww. Just tell him, "I've already got one asshole down there now. Why would I want you down there too?"

^^^ haha. nice one.

been there done that thinking about getting back with said girl for the 4th time now....Shes dumped me twice I dumped her once and she wants me back

If it was me, I'd leave you.

But that's just me.

Sometimes wires get crossed. He obviously thought it was totally acceptable (as you were already sexually active) or he wouldn't have done it.

I repeat.

He wouldn't have done it if he thought it was going to hurt you!

Feeling sorry for yourself and punishing him is going to make him feel like a villain and destroy your relationship.

You said it yourself, it was going so perfectly, it can keep being perfect.

But then you'd have to miss out on feeling sorry for yourself.

P.s. I really respect you as a poster Demoiselle, but I always call it like I see it.

But then you'd have to miss out on feeling sorry for yourself.

I want to say that to my girl sometimes...but for some reason, I think that'd invoke a ball-crushing kick.

quote:Originally posted by Demoiselle:

Like, surreally perfect.

As was mine. I'd literally calle it "perfection", but it doesn't last. Nothing that good does. But it CAN come back. You just need to consider if it's worth dredging through the shit, for the absolutly amazing times.

Chances are, you wont find this perfection with some one else. But chances are you'd also have to dredge through a lot less shit. Basically your relationship sounds bipolar (Not you guys, I mean the actual relationship). Awesome ups, terribles downs.

You can trade that in...for security. If you want...

^^^ I actually called it bipolar yesterday... Arquin it's like you can read my mind.

I imagine he's pretty hurt that you pushed him off so violently and refused to fuck him that aggressively.. You possibly hurt his feelings one HELL of alot to turn him down.

Sure, he should have fucking listened when you said 'no'.

Did he think you were joking at all?



If he'd done that to a girl that wasnt as cool and level headed as you seem to be, she'd have probably screamed 'rape'.

Are you sure either of you really want to give the relationship another chance?



If you wont put out for his sake when he really wants it, and he wont listen to you when you say you dont want it.. neither of you give the impression of caring a whole lot about each others feelings and wellbeing.

Hey? If you don't want to give it to him, do you want to give it to m...

Errrr...maybe not...