I was, sort of seeing a boy on and off for a while. I got the 'let's just be friends' line, which I have no problem with, fair enough, I already have an obscene amount of friends what's one more right?

The whole basis of which was, 'I really like you, but I don't want to hurt you', to which I reply 'It's not like I'm asking you to love me' to which I cop a 'what are you asking for then?'. A question to which at the current time the answer 'well you find me attractive' would not have been suitable. I know a relationship wouldn't last for ever, we're still really only teenagers, I just like to have fun and throw my feelings around while I still can. Get my kicks while I'm still young enough to get 'em you know? So I left it alone, and did the friends thing.

Much practice, am good actor.



But this isn't what's bothering me.

It was recently my birthday, I consumed alcohol in vast varieties and amounts. I was obscenely shitfaced. Said boy was at my birthday party, stone cold sober (I mention this for the purpose of rational decision making, not because I'm trying to foist the 'blame' onto anyone, hell, it was my choice to get obnoxiously drunk, and I’ll wear that) anyway. Now I'd like to mention that this is a person I love and respect, he's very considerate and puts himself second to the way I do alot of things, and does not think with his crotch. I'm an extremely sexual drunk, I get more uninhibited and upfront with people than I already am, I know this, everyone knows this. It's gotten to the point where I'll just take it in good humor if people are trying to separate themselves from me with a spatula.

When I was seeing this guy off, who I find fantastically attractive I might add, I got all cuddly with him, as I had the whole evening, at which point he sort of holds me at arms length and tells me, 'this is only going to hurt you' 'I don't want to hurt you' and so on and so forth. I do something really horrible here, it's not really something I'm proud of but I did it anyway. I made the 'please, I really want you, fuck me' face. Now he's a person of strong morals and ethics, and it sort of baffled me how a person (who does not have their judgment impaired by illicit substances) could be claiming they didn't want to hurt me one minute, and quite willingly have their tongue down my throat the next. Not as in, he let me kiss him, he was kissing me back.

Hard.

Now my question is this, is a person really that ready to quite speedily compromise their morals and ideals for that look of pure desire in another's face?

Or does it appear that this person has more feelings for me than they would care to admit?

I'm sorry for the rant, this has just been up in my mind for the last couple of days.

There's no big mystery there, 'morals' and ethics aside, everyone still is horny and has a breaking point... (apart from that extreme Buddhist monk that lately castrated and enuchised himself)

Young people and alcohol jesus christ what a combination.

Maybe he really just doesnt want to hurt you. The kissing may have been a purely sexual thing, or the only way he was willing to express his feelings - hell - he might have thought you wouldn't even remember, being so obscenely drunk and all. People don't always know what they feel, or understand what they're thinking/doing. Don't think so much, just let things happen, push them A BIT if you really feel the need but don't try to analyse and control everything. You're young, you said it.

quote:Originally posted by Zonko:

There's no big mystery there, 'morals' and ethics aside, everyone still is horny and has a breaking point...[B]

I don't know, I don't think I've ever expected anyone's breaking point to be a look in the face.

quote:[B](apart from that extreme Buddhist monk that lately castrated and enuchised himself)

Link?

quote:Originally posted by DuckWarri0r:

Young people and alcohol jesus christ what a combination.



Granted, I know it sounds very stupid an childish. But I try to look at this from the perspective of rational versus impared judgement, rather than, drunk young people there's soemthing new.

It's not a compromising of his morals, nor is it particularly a gauge of how he feels for you - it was in total accordance with what he thinks would hurt you and what wouldn't. Although he may be wrong, it would be unintentional.

I can tell you this: He wanted to fuck you the whole time and likely feels more for you than he lets on, but was refraining because he knows his nature as an animal and knows he will eventually hurt you if you remain romantically attached to him - even if he becomes romantically attached to you. I'm not saying it would be by cheating...but that's the most common way lovers are hurt.

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&q=buddhist+penis&btnG=Search+News

Looks like he didn't actually take the balls.

So what's the pain he's so afraid of causing then?

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

So what's the pain he's so afraid of causing then?

Are you serious?

quote:Originally posted by DuckWarri0r:

Young people and alcohol jesus christ what a combination.



QFT

quote:Originally posted by bloodenangel:

I don't know, I don't think I've ever expected anyone's breaking point to be a look in the face.

The breaking point thing sounds about right, don't underestimate the power of a 'fuck me' face. He probably was walking the thin line and you triggered him to step to the side he didn't want to go. No worries, like you said, you're young and you can throw your feelings around, no harm caused, right?

You are the reason men kill and wear the skin of their female victims.

quote:Originally posted by IDontLoveYou:

You are the reason men kill and wear the skin of their female victims.0_0 *shuffles away*

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

0_0 *shuffles away*

quote:Originally posted by IDontLoveYou:

You are the reason men kill and wear the skin of their female victims.

Men trying to kill bloodenangel end up wearing their skin over their head. Their foreskin, that is.

[This message has been edited by umop 3pisdn (edited 12-12-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by umop 3pisdn:

Men trying to kill bloodenangel end up wearing their skin over their head. Their foreskin, that is.



*crosses legs*

You may say he doesn't think with his crotch, but he does have hormones you know.

Oh god, shut up you silly bitch.

THREAD CLOSED.

i'm not underestimating his feelings for you. but here's an interesting little piece of info. if a person is around others who are drunk, even if they aren't drunk, they somewhat experience a loss of inhibitions. it's a social psychology thing. so that can account for his unexpected behavior while sober. knowing that others are drunk and uninhibited can incite one to also be uninhibited.

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

It's not a compromising of his morals, nor is it particularly a gauge of how he feels for you - it was in total accordance with what he thinks would hurt you and what wouldn't. Although he may be wrong, it would be unintentional.

I can tell you this: He wanted to fuck you the whole time and likely feels more for you than he lets on, but was refraining because he knows his nature as an animal and knows he will eventually hurt you if you remain romantically attached to him - even if he becomes romantically attached to you. I'm not saying it would be by cheating...but that's the most common way lovers are hurt.

Yep. This is true.

I don't think it'd be by cheating though. I think he's afraid of getting hurt himself, or that he'd get bored of you, OP. He knows you two are young, and he's probably thinking that a relationship won't last so it'll just end up hurting you both. He's right, but at the same time it's life, and you might as well take a chance because getting hurt is just a part of living. Experience teaches.

You shouldn't be overanalyzing this. The guy was horny already, and he's probably attracted to you, so he just went for it. It has nothing to do with morals/ethics, and the face you made probably just made him think that you wanted him to do it, so he did. That's my take on the situation.

Lastly, and this is just my opinion, so take it as you will, learn to control yourself when you're drinking. Either don't get shitfaced, or don't act so overtly sexual. People either find it annoying or they see you as a girl with a big "fuck me" sign on her. You can control yourself while drunk. It's really not that difficult. Just don't use alcohol as an excuse to be super flirty or as an excuse for anything.

Best of luck with this situation. If it doesn't work out to be a relationship, then at least you'll have a friend who cares about you. Those are more valuable in the long run, because they'll be with you when you need them.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm not underestimating his feelings for you. but here's an interesting little piece of info. if a person is around others who are drunk, even if they aren't drunk, they somewhat experience a loss of inhibitions. it's a social psychology thing. so that can account for his unexpected behavior while sober. knowing that others are drunk and uninhibited can incite one to also be uninhibited.

True story.

Talk to him about it?

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm not underestimating his feelings for you. but here's an interesting little piece of info. if a person is around others who are drunk, even if they aren't drunk, they somewhat experience a loss of inhibitions. it's a social psychology thing. so that can account for his unexpected behavior while sober. knowing that others are drunk and uninhibited can incite one to also be uninhibited.



Or shortly put as

He took advantage of your inner whore.

Uh... He sounds like he just wanted to get into your pants. Seriously... Most guys do. And you do NOT have to be an extremist Buddhist monk to be able to turn down a 'fuck me' face. It's all about self control, and for some reason I have a fuck of alot of it, lucky me... Anyways, guys in general just look for a quick way to get off, he probably thought you wouldn't remember it, so that's why he went for it. Coming from a GUY, this is saying something, but most guys are pigs... MOST, and I worked in a bar, so I can say that almost all drunk guys are. ALMOST. For some reason I tend to be able to sober up in a pinch if something happens around me when I'm drunk (It's happened many times before), so inhabition has nothing to do with anything. You can't blame being drunk on anything, it just lets loose what you hide deep inside. If you can control yourself/if you wear your innerself on your sleeve, then nothing happens when you're drunk. Anyways! Point of this little speel is that he just wanted into your pants.

haha. well, the "please fuck me" look can be pretty hot... I'm not really surprised.

for the all the people saying he took advantage of her, god you are naive. she obviously wanted it! (bloodenangel, correct me if i'm wrong about that.) just because she's female and was drunk doesn't mean he was "taking advantage of her."

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

for the all the people saying he took advantage of her, god you are naive. she obviously wanted it! (bloodenangel, correct me if i'm wrong about that.) just because she's female and was drunk doesn't mean he was "taking advantage of her."



seconded. like she said, it was her own choice getting drunk. don't do the crime if you won't do the time

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

just because she's female and was drunk doesn't mean he was "taking advantage of her."

That's not the way the law tends to see it

you wanted him to fuck you I don't see any problem with this. No straight guy will turn down sex

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

for the all the people saying he took advantage of her, god you are naive. she obviously wanted it! (bloodenangel, correct me if i'm wrong about that.) just because she's female and was drunk doesn't mean he was "taking advantage of her."

ITs not what i fucking meant. I meant he took advantage of the fact that she wanted to fuck.

If it wasnt towards me, then nevermind

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

for the all the people saying he took advantage of her, god you are naive. she obviously wanted it! (bloodenangel, correct me if i'm wrong about that.) just because she's female and was drunk doesn't mean he was "taking advantage of her."



Honey, I agree 100%!

Maybe...it's a game they're playing, but just haven't figured out how it's to be played?

This is a question of how guys can be so easy.

The answer is 4.

An attractive girl wanting me to fuck her would break through my attempt at morals pretty quickly.