I have known this girl for nearly a decade and she actually lived in my parents house for a couple months. During that time we became really close friends but never more than that. So I end up falling in love with her while I'm away at college and she has no idea. Last year she got pregnant with a typical deadbeat emo faggot and just recently broke up with him. So last Friday she calls me up and asks me to come hang out, so I drop what I'm doing and go see her. She explains the breakup and she doesn't seem to emotional about it. During our little get together she was very flirty with me and dropping hints such as "I need a guy thats taller than me"(which I am) and "I need a guy thats older than me"(which I am). So i decide its time to tell her how I feel about her and I write her a letter.

quote:I have something to tell you. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or make things awkward but I have to get this off my chest.

I care for you more than I have led you to believe and have felt this way for a long time. You make me happy and I just wanted you to know this before I lose you to another Joey/Ian.

The way I see it, you can take this one of three ways:

1. You feel the same way.

2. You feel indifferent about it/Just want to forget I said anything at all. or

3. You're totally freaking out cause I scared the crap out of you (which I really hope is not how you feel).

Well, now that thats done, I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen just in case you feel like #1 or #2.

On the other hand, if you want to talk about it, I'm always here for you.

Then I realize that was way too impersonal and dry so, with the help of a friend this time, I try again.

quote:Wow.... I just realized I came off a bit dry in the last message. I didn't mean to sound like I was writing to a stranger. I've known you forever, but the notion of telling you that made me feel like a little boy lost in the mall. Basically I forgot who I was actually talking to because I was nervous as hell.

I care about you as more than just a close friend, and hope against hope that you feel the same. Either way, though, I don't want the friendship we have to be affected. That is my biggest fear in telling you, because you're one of my best friends and I don't want my feelings to negatively affect how things are.

Those were both sent last night. This morning were talking over AIM and all she said about the letters is "I don't feel the same way."

So the only thing I can think is that she wants me to drop the entire thing and never mention it again.

I dunno why I decided to share this with totse.

Advice would be nice if anyone can think of anything.

I think you're turning emo yourself. Honestly.

I hope not.

well, clearly you should drop. talking about it would just be awkward and make the two of you feel like shit.

find someone else to be with, either for a long term relationship or maybe even just a 'forget about her' fuck...whatever you think you need.

Well, thats pretty much what my friend has been telling me to do(with the occasional bitch added in). I think I just posted it here to see if the notes were too much and to hear what the totse women think.

Drop it mate.

You've already been relegated to the friendship circle to watch her screw things up with guys and be there to comfort her when "another Joey/Ian" comes along!

Don't sweat it too much dude...Just get on with it.

I guess I can live with that.

If you're in love with her, why can't you talk to her in person? Why did you send her a letter? Perhaps she's persuing (sp?) a sense of maturity from you. I'm not saying that a letter is better or worse, but it seems a little impoersonal and like you wanting to hide your feelings.

Talk to her in person, please?

Well, they were actually messages over myspace cause that and AIM are our only means of communication during the week.

I think I am going to talk to her about it, see if I cant make it less awkward, then probably just drop the whole thing all together.

She's not interested, she's not worth it. Don't speak to her again until you have to or you go home.

Whatever you do, just don't become "that guy" who she always calls up when she can't handle something herself. Fuck that, she will twirl you around her finger and never let go.

But that's just my opinion.