This'll be a bit long, and a bit rambly, bare with it please!

The Background:

Ok, so for those of you that don't already know -which is basically everyone- I'm single now. No fiance, etc. Got dumped a few months ago, but turns out she'd cheated/was cheating on me anyway. Better off without her, but not really the main point.

The dilema:

I've recently within the last month gained employment at a local cinema complex. Been getting on with everyone well, and been getting on with two people rather well indeed. Problem is I get on creepily well with one of them. The kind of "well" where you're basically best friends after a few weeks. Where you finsish sentences and are always smiling. Everynoe at work seems to think something is going on, even a new guy. Hell, we even got extra food at lunch because the woman behind the fast food counter at KFC thoguht we were dating. Now this wouldn't normally be a problem, but there are (from people at work, and my friend, an ex employee who knows her) comments that she kinda likes me. So, you're probably wondering why I am unsure of things so I'll explain. I get on with her so well it's just surreal. It's almost like we're twins, and we just seem to have a natural connection - hell, we share the same birthday (June 1st).

Now, I've just come out from a really bad relationship, and don't and wouldn't want things with her going any further than sex right now, if that boat was set to sail as it were, but I don't know if I want to do sleep with her should the opportunity arise because I really like her as a friend and don't want to make things awkward, and don't want to make work awkward either. She also has a boyfriend, which slaps me in the middle of a moral dilema, of I would like something to happen, but don't know if it would be right given she's in a relationship. Whether she initiats it or not.

The Solution(?):

This is where the more mature and older members come into play. What should I do about this? She's 3 years older than me anyway, and this doesn't seem to have made any difference, and from what I can gather (although I can be oblivious) there is something floating around in the air between us. What should I do about this: should I pursue a little more and see where it goes, or should I just be friends with her whilst also harbouring the feelings/crush that I have?

It's all very mixed right now, and I can't decide what to do nor how to feel. Post away!

Well mate, I personally wouldn't get involved with someone with a boyfriend, as it creates a bunch of shit I'm sure you don't feel like dealing with. So my advice on the matter is to not bother.

Ponytails are never the right choice.

sounds complicated. too bad i'm not one of the older members, otherwise i'd help. don't want to stick my nose in though.

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 12-12-2006).]

Well this died on its ass it seems. .

Sounds cool, try making out. Don't be a pussy just because your last girlfriend was a bitch.

quote:Originally posted by Toothlessjoe:

What should I do about this: should I pursue a little more and see where it goes, or should I just be friends with her whilst also harbouring the feelings/crush that I have?

Three years older is nothing, toothless.

I think you should continue with your friendship. If she's as attracted to you as you are to her, then she will ditch her boyfriend eventually.

think about this. would it be worth it to ruin what you already have? because if she says no, your relationship will be just awkward from then on in.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

sounds complicated. too bad i'm not one of the older members, otherwise i'd help. don't want to stick my nose in though.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Three years older is nothing, toothless.

I think you should continue with your friendship. If she's as attracted to you as you are to her, then she will ditch her boyfriend eventually.

It is when we're as young as us ! .

What you're saying is kinda true I guess, bu she also lives with him, and pays half the rent, so maybe she won't. I'm slowly losing interst I think, and I think she is to, just every now and again during the day, that interest springs back.

This is really confusing, I haven't been single for like 2 years. Least of all having a girl seeimingly interested. Or perhaps anyway.

Ack, I'm inept in this area. My back is also completely fucked from all the stock and, well, everything, I carry around for her at work. Cute pouty faces are my nemisis . So, I'm going to leave this for now, and post some more details on the whole thing later as the first few posts have been a bit sparce.

*Collapses into bed after yet another 13 hour shift*

EDIT: Lots of typos in these posts, sorry about those. My brain and body are thoroughly exhausted.



[This message has been edited by Toothlessjoe (edited 12-13-2006).]

WOOOOOO! Working at the movies! YEA! I love it! Unnnnnhhhhh! Give me a high five motha fucka!

Lol, damn dude. You've been stepping it down a notch. My reccomendation to you? Why be worried about it? Just go with what flows and if it works out, it works out, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

Yuh dig?

You said you were better off without your fiancee because she was a cheater, but then you're considering making this new girl a cheater herself? Nice.

She has a boyfriend.

I think it's pretty obvious you should leave it alone.

quote:Originally posted by bodomised:

She has a boyfriend.

I think it's pretty obvious you should leave it alone.

Yeah, I agree (especially considering how you and M broke up). I know it's tough, but if you want anything to happen with her, she'd have to break up with him first. And it doesn't sound like that's gonna happen. Rough break, but that's the way things turn out sometimes. Just be happy with the friendship.

Oh, and I hate to say I told you so, but... . Knew it.

quote:Originally posted by bodomised:

She has a boyfriend.

I think it's pretty obvious you should leave it alone.

Fucking stupid stupid attitude. at least 80% of women have a steady boyfriend. If you ever want to get a girlfriend of your own, you need to be trying your luck on all 100% and not just 20. Say you have a more-than-2-dates connection with 30% of women. If you target only singles, then only 6% of the women you meet will be potential girlfriends, as opposed to nearly 1 in 3.

quote:Originally posted by Toothlessjoe:

I don't know if I want to do sleep with her should the opportunity arise because I really like her as a friend and don't want to make things awkward

I will say this, you think sleeping together and then working is awkward try looking her in the eye after you turned down the opportunity to fuck her. At least awkward isn't embarassing for the girl.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

WOOOOOO! Working at the movies! YEA! I love it! Unnnnnhhhhh! Give me a high five motha fucka!

Lol, damn dude. You've been stepping it down a notch. My reccomendation to you? Why be worried about it? Just go with what flows and if it works out, it works out, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out.

Yuh dig?

Uhh, has sopmeone jacked your account? You're supposed to be insulting me. And what is this stepping it down a notch you're talking about?

She's not single, you don't want a girlfriend, what's the problem? You won't be sleeping with her anytime soon mate. Stay best friends. It doesn't -need- to progress, you can get laid by any number of girls.

Basically, stop thinking about having sex with her and start enjoying what you already have, which is an amazing connection and great fun.

Buddy, I would say stick to being a friend.

A friend like her you'll never find again. All this automatic relationship, finishing sentences, etc...That could be fucked up if you went a little too far into it.

As long as you enjoy just being around her and having the fun you evidently have with her, stick to that. Fucking hr ain't gonna make it better!

But then again you never know...Give it a while and it may just happen.

For now though, just concentrate on being her friend.

Well, looks like the best thing to do would be to stay friends then. Shitcakes.

Come on man there's plenty of whores you can fuck, but something like this is rare as hell. Down the track, something could happen. But not now. Aight?

I think you answered you own question. It sounds like you are not yet ready for a relationship, and you should not bog this girl down with your baggage. It is not wise to have sex with her just because you like her, because girls very rarely respond well to such things without a promise of some kind of commitment, especially considering the fact that she seems to genuinely dig you.

Until you are ready for the possibility of another relationship, I say you should leave things as they are. You don't really have a choice, considering she's living with someone else, anyway.

It might behoove you to talk to her about how you're feeling. If you two are truly as close as you've described, she will completely understand, and then there will be no weirdness or pressure on you to jump into something you're not completely ready for.

If she's as great as you say, you owe it to her give her this kind of respect.

Good luck !

[This message has been edited by Digital_Savior (edited 12-13-2006).]

I'll see how it goes then, I'll probably regret it though.