I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years less than a month ago. I had to break it off because she was a very jealous/shallow minded (at some times) person. She was also beginning to get a little violent.

Anyway, about 2 weeks after we broke up she had sex with another guy. Her reasoning behind this was because I had told her to stop calling me. She was calling me at least 15 times a day, and I just couldn't take it, and I probably told her I hated her and probably told her I was seeing someone, just so she would stop harassing me. She says she didn't care about anything at that point, so she just fucked this guy she didnt even know.

So, this hurt me a pretty good bit. It made me feel like everything I ever gave her meant nothing if she could give her body away that easily.

So, I probably missed something, but anyway. Now she comes to me after she did that saying how sorry she was, and that she would start her life over from the beginning to have not done that. She says that no one will ever love her like I did, and that she is so sorry.

I hung out with a girl not to long ago, the first i've been with another girl in years. I had a very great time, I could talk to her so much better than my ex. I had a great time. It made me not want to ever go back to the ex because I realized there was so much more out there.

So, now she comes to me wanting sex, saying that she needs it really bad and everything. Now, she is absolutely beautiful. A very sexy girl. It is hard for me not to say yes, but I believe if I say yes, then I will end up hurting her more, because I do not want to be back with her...

So, the thing is mainly, to fuck or not to fuck.

Don't fuck. There's a reason the concept of 'clean breaks' exist. Basically, fucking her without going out with her will make her even more scarily into you, while it will probably mess with your head as well. this girl sounds like she needs to sort her shit out, and fucking you won't help.

I'm sure someone else here can explain it better than me though.

PS: I used to be like that girl (I'm a guy)

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Don't fuck. There's a reason the concept of 'clean breaks' exist. Basically, fucking her without going out with her will make her even more scarily into you, while it will probably mess with your head as well. this girl sounds like she needs to sort her shit out, and fucking you won't help.

I'm sure someone else here can explain it better than me though.

PS: I used to be like that girl (I'm a guy)

This is all true. OP, you realized that there are better girls out there. Sure, she may be hot, but what's the point if she's clingy and you can't even talk to her? I've been in bad relationships like the one you describe, and believe me, a healthy relationship is infinitely better.

Don't fuck her! Just be patient, and you'll get the good relationship that you want. If you give in to this girl, you'll only make things worse. She's already shown you that she doesn't give a fuck. She's emotionally unstable, and while you may want to fuck her, don't do it.

Thanks, I appreciate it. I've had a bad time lately and am not doing good at making decisions. Thanks.

Or you could make it really obvious you want her just for sex.

Leave $5 on her dresser as soon as you get done.

Yeah, now that you've broken up, it's important to maintain boundaries. If you let her cross this line, she will keep testing you, trying to see how many lines you will allow her to cross. Eventually, if this happens, you will just basically end up back together, except in a relationship that is even more dysfunctional than it was before. Figure out where you draw the line, and never let her cross it. Since it sounds like you want to move on and date other girls, I'd recommend not sleeping with her.

I think she tried to find the limits today. She was touching me through my pants, kissing me etc. I told her afterwards I wish that had never happened, and then she cried...

quote:Originally posted by lacrima97:

I think she tried to find the limits today. She was touching me through my pants, kissing me etc. I told her afterwards I wish that had never happened, and then she cried...

You would have been better off just not letting her do it in the first place. You were being passive by letting her touch you. Too much passivity usually leads to problems. In fact, the problem was not that you tried to draw the line, but that you didn't draw it effectively or were inconsistent. Next time don't even let her touch you!

I will do better tomorrow. It's just so fucking hard to let a fine girl that has touched you freely for 2 years, suddenly stop. I mean, my sex drive is starting to get outa control as is hers. I must take the advise though, I have thought in my mind that It was the only way to go. It's going to be hard...I must do this though.

Hm.

I would have done it. But that's me, since I believe I would be able to keep a clear head through it(there is a possiblity that I'd get fucked up, but that's another story.

Just publicly insult her for being a whore and she will leave you alone.

Well. So what if she finally acknowledges that we will never get back together. Is it ok then?

What do you think?

...Maybe...

What do you think would happen if you sleep together regularly?

Does this concern you?

I guess she would end up getting attatched...and things would go to shit. I wish she would quit begging...

if all she's doing is begging, don't even allow the conversation to continue. kindly tell her that you will not talk about it anymore with her as you have made your decision, and get off the phone/out of her company if she persists.