And now she's exactly the same as all those goddam cunts at my school. Going on about stupid shit, and acting like a fucking twit in general. Any advice? I don't want to break up with her, because I love the way she used to be.

Can you pinpoint when she changed?

You want a serious answer then you're gonna have to give us more some information, son.

Otherwise this needs to go to B&M.

How was she before? What happened to change her?

And are you the problem?

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 12-10-2006).]

No, I can't pinpoint the exact point. It has been a gradual change over the past 1 1/2-2 years. She used to be very interesting and unique, we would have great conversations and such. Then she kind of started acting like these generic bitches at our school, coz she made friends with them. I don't like half of them, and now that she acts like them it kills me. But she does all that bullshit, for example we're going to a concert that I have been waiting a while for, and now all that I hear is how hot the lead singer is. Same with all that Jack Sparrow shit, all she talks about is how hot he is. And she never used to do this, it used to be about the music and not how attractive people were. But since these other people do it, so does she.

And the thing is, she's smart as fuck. Her grades are still great, but it doesn't reflect it in our conversations like it used to. Now we hardly talk at all, and when we do its some contrived and trivial bullshit. Plus she's hella critical also. So I don't know if it's a true B&M or not, since I really do want to resolve this. And no, I don't think that the problem is me, since as far as I can tell, I've stayed the same.

Simple, she wants their attention. So she'll act like them to keep in the 'it' crowd.

Well how do I remedy this? Everytime I try to bring it up, she kind of skirts away from the topic.

what did you used to talk about that was so interesting?

Why don't you try to improve yourself first? I know that may be a blow to your ego, but suck it up and look at your own faults. Try to break bad habits. She'll notice this behavior and it will be easier to open the door to communication if you can come from a supportive point of view and not an offensive one.

If you continue to accuse her, that's just going to perpetuate bad energy in your relationship. Do something good for the both of you and make yourself the right man so she can be the right woman.

Some people need help in these things. There's a difference between followers and leaders, ya know?

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Why don't you try to improve yourself first? I know that may be a blow to your ego, but suck it up and look at your own faults. Try to break bad habits. She'll notice this behavior and it will be easier to open the door to communication if you can come from a supportive point of view and not an offensive one.



Yeah, that does kind of hurt but I do want this relationship to continue so I'll give it a try. Any special suggestions?

My current relationship is built on the both of us trying to change for the better. He's taught me how to be stern and professional instead of a whiny little girl. I've taught him how to look at the other side of things and adjust his anger accordingly...

Point is everyone has issues. If you lie, try to be more truthful, if you don't say what you feel, open up. If you take a little bit of time to examine your life, what's good and bad and WHY, you'll be able to pinpoint what you want to make better and find the steps to get there. If it's an option, go to therapy. If you find the right one (you'll just know) you can uncover and resolve a lot of issues that you might have. Therapy is the shit.

It's a win/win situation. If she's that involved, it's just going to be a phase she'll ride out. She'll stick around and hopefully be inspired (subconsciously of course by you or she'll fade out and you'll be better anyway.

I would love therapy, but it's a definite impossibility. But I will def try to work it all out, starting with myself. Thanks a lot.

Love your name, by the way.

Most relationships settle down like this.

A little less sex, a little less romance a little more compromise.

It's purely natural, your body telling you to find another mate and experience that 'romance and excitement' again in the hope that it will last forever.

Well, it won't. Loving a person like you obviously do is about as good as it gets.

It's all about compromise now, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Good luck.

quote:Originally posted by Bollocks:

And now she's exactly the same as all those goddam cunts at my school. Going on about stupid shit, and acting like a fucking twit in general. Any advice? I don't want to break up with her, because I love the way she used to be.

Yeah, I have a similar problem... I'll meet a girl, think she's finally the right one, and she'll turn out just as shallow and cruel as everyone else.



Stick with weed. It's more consistant. :P

simple. she used to be great, but isn't anymore?

1. talk about it and see if she can change back.

2. if not, quit the relationship. no point living in the past.

Haha, you love the way she "used" to be.

Looks like she changed,

time to break it off.

And so is exposed the truth: We all cheat, lie, hate, and blame. We're also all loyal, honest, loving, and responsible. We're human - capable of great goods and great evils; guaranteed to do both.

Oh no! Humans have a dark side! If you can't accept someone as the piece of shit they can occasionally (or more often) be, take a look at what kind of person you are. Take a look at your sexual fantasies, your half-truths and deceptions, your anger, and how little you blame yourself for...you're just as shitty as anyone else.

So she's being cruel and fake? Big fucking deal...break up and move on, or accept her; people don't change unless they want to.