I grew up in a really small town, and before I went to school I really only knew my parents and my neighbours. I was scared to go to school, much like some other children, but worst of all I had to ride the bus for over an hour to get there. Luckily for me, a few stops after my house there was this kid who was pretty much just like me. We hit it off back then by trading those little plastic muscle men things.

As we grew up we only got tighter. Both of us were anti-drug, anti-drink and really on the straight and narrow. We played football, basketball and hockey together. We were constantly finding things to do, just bonding in general.

I ended up moving after 8th grade, though, and when I came back later we just never really ended up being friends again. I mean, we would say hello in passing and all, but it was just different. Honestly, I was probably a little different myself, but he had definitely changed.

Then after High School, his father died of cancer. He ended up turning to heroin, meth and really whatever else he could get his hands on. He went to jail a few times, and really ran his mom to the brink.

Now here is where I come in again..

You may or may not remember the thread I created the other day "After 7 Years.." but since that has happened, I've been hanging out with some of my friends from the area. One of my friends is literally the sweetest girls on the planet and I care about her like a sister. However, I was over her house the other day, and she told me 'Hey Mike wants to come over to see you!' Apparently they're dating or 'seeing' each other.

Ok, so at this point I'm questioning her sanity. Why would someone get with a heroin addict fresh out of jail? Turns out he is in rehab and trying to straighten his life out.. yeah ok. I can deal with that. So I said alright, let's go get him.

I really don't know how to explain the situation to you guys. This kid is seriously off his fuckin rocker. He is NOTHING like the kid I knew. All he was talking about was drugs and jail. Not only that, but he was extremely rude to my friend. He was treating her like an asshole, saying all sorts of weird shit about sex and whatever. She's really private about that stuff, and you could tell it was making her feel uneasy.

So anyway, I guess this is my problem: If I keep hanging out with her, I will definitely see him more. I don't know if he will act differently at any point or not, but as it is I feel extremely uncomfortable around him. It's not just the way he acts towards me, it's the way he treats her in front of me. Also, I worry that he will get back into drugs and whatever else and drag her into it.

I don't think she'd ever do hard drugs, but I do fear for her safety while she is with him.. know what I mean?

I tried talking to her about it.. like 'hey come on you can do better than that. I don't want you getting into a bad situation.' But she really seemed pissed about it. It's not my place to tell her what to do, so I understand. I just don't know what to do about it.

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Short Version:

I grew up with this kid, ended up losing contact. After HS, he got into drugs and ended up going to jail. Recently he got out and started dating one of my good friends, but he treats her like shit.

I can't tell her not to date him because it's not my place and she is a very private person, but if I continue hanging out there I will keep seeing him.

Any suggestions? Comments? Anything?

Tell her you know its not your place to be saying anything, but explain what you think. It's her decision whether to listen to you or not. There's nothing else you can do.

I think you want to nail this girl, when will you larn the femme fatales always go for the bad guys, they die before they want nice men. I suggest you plant needles on him ...No I suggest you just be supportive for when it all crashes down, but she'll never see you as anything more than a friend, though i could be wrong, infact maybe I havent got your alternative motive. I'm unusre of everything so anyways

Michael

quote:Originally posted by malaria:

as it is I feel extremely uncomfortable around him. It's not just the way he acts towards me, it's the way he treats her in front of me.



Tell him this, in a non confrontational way.

Given your past, you're one of the few people who can speak to him about such a thing.

You're also one of the few people he might listen to when you tell him.

No, I do not want to 'nail' this girl. Did you miss the part when I said she is like my sister?

I hadn't thought of talking to him for some reason, but that IS good advice. Thanks!