My apologizes in advance if this isn't completely coherent, i'm a little upset right now to say the least.



So me and this guy have been dating for a little over a year, and about three weeks ago he asked me to marry him. Everything seemed to be going great but then last night he borke up with me because he doesn't want a relationship.



Its jsut really fuckked up to me... why would you aks someone to marry you if you didn't want a relationship? Makes no sense to me whatsoever. I mean we've had problems before and little breaks up thatt have lasted for a few hours before but nothing really like this.



And then i'm being pathetic, and trying to convince him that we should be together. I don't break up well to say the least. Not good with rejection.

And on top of all this we just signed a lease together and every single bill we have is togetehr. And to put the icing on the cake his mom is ccoming down to stay with us for the rest of december.



He said he's been thinking about doing this for a couple days so now i feel used, like maybe he just hung in for a few more days so he could get sex a couple more times.

And now i'm stuck and have no idea what the hell to do.. It sucks pretty bad if you live with someone after stuff like this happens.



so yeah.. thats about it.

just let him go, and wait more than a year before trying to marry the next one

He probaly agognized over asking you for sometime, then after he did he got cold feet pretty common. Best thing to do is back off and let it unfold. The thing is now was the time to find out not after the papers were signed. If he is serious and really wants this he will be back pleading his case

2020's right, it could be that the sudden commitment to marriage scared him. He could be perfectly happy in the relationship, and just have gotten nervous once he thought about everything it means. Even though there might not be much practical difference between married life and your current relationship (well, how it was before this), it's a big symbolic step.

I think you should give it a little while and see if he changes his mind again. But you'd need to have a talk with him about it if he did.

Kati, you know you're great. I've shared my thoughts on this with you and if you need support ot to talk, I'm here.

random thought, if this guy thinks he can have sex w/ you again, after all this shit...i hope hes wrong, cuz it sounds like hes just playing with you...sorry...

-Kman101

quote:Originally posted by Kati:

And on top of all this we just signed a lease together and every single bill we have is togetehr. And to put the icing on the cake his mom is ccoming down to stay with us for the rest of december.



Since no one touched on this.

The two of you need to take care of this. Decide who stays, who goes, or...if you're just going to be roommates.

Also, he should contact his mother and explain the situation before she comes.

Seriously, deal with the fucking lease and shit first. And if you want to stay in the flat and not have his useless ass around, for the love of god change the lease into your name only!!



I went through this shit a few months back. My boyfriend of the time suddenly decided that after two years, he didnt love me. Damn, what an inconvienience!

But then he was making noises about how that as he was on the lease also, he could do as he please, come and go as he pleased and bring whoever home.

I can assure you that lease and that lock got changed so goddamn fast.



I know it's callous, but at this point, you have to put your financial situation FIRST.

You can cry later, but for now you need your own home where you can be safe, AWAY from him, and make sure he doesent screw you.

i thought you agonised about it for weeks?

quote:Originally posted by Bazzle:

i thought you agonised about it for weeks?

No. When it became clear to me that he had every intention of bringing 17 year old skanky bitches into my home, I changed the locks on the very same day.

People are strange. That's really the only explanation.

Literally days before I came home for Thanksgiving, my then-girlfriend and I were talking about marriage and kids and all that. We had been together for 7 years. Then she just dumped me for no real reason. Out of the blue!

I did try to convince her we worth saving at first, but it fell on deaf ears.

My solution was to just accept it and move on. Why bother pining over someone and waste your life in a sad and sorry state? Luckily I am not from the same state as her, so in moving I have really just been completely removed from her. I will never see or talk to her again without some effort on my part.