my girl wants to be fucked in the ass and pussy at the same time. im not about to go recruit some dude to fuck my girl and have his balls dangel'n down all up on my cock so for christmas i was thinking about buying one of these. http://tinyurl.com/y9tupq

cheaper then hiring an attractive hooker to strap one on and fuck her with me.

That doesnt look that fucking cheap to me...

Shit, I could build one of those cheaper.

It's funny, I come on totse and read this post right after they're talking about how excessive spending is ruining the American economy to the point where China effectively has us by the throats.

Do you really need to spend $700 on a fucking machine?

Yea id agree why the fuck spend that much money? Especially on something like that? Id opt for paying the hooker with the dildo. Fuck spending $700 on that shit.

Dude, why can't you just bang her and use a dildo on her at the same time? It's not that hard.

Lol, fooking musheen.



Yes, I didn't contribute anything to this thread - don't bitch at me =)

quote:Originally posted by Influx:

Lol, fooking musheen.



Yes, I didn't contribute anything to this thread - don't bitch at me =)

you people can spend 600$ on a ps3 and wait in line for 3 days but you think its expensive to spend 700$ for a machine thats gonna get me sex with my girl 3 times a much? in a years time if i go from fucking her twice a week to 6 times a week thats 300 more tiems a year which adds up to about hmmm a lil over 2$ a fuck! thats fucking cheap! alot cheaper then roses or dinner and a movie.

quote:Originally posted by djshadoworgandonor:

you people can spend 600$ on a ps3 and wait in line for 3 days but you think its expensive to spend 700$ for a machine thats gonna get me sex with my girl 3 times a much? in a years time if i go from fucking her twice a week to 6 times a week thats 300 more tiems a year which adds up to about hmmm a lil over 2$ a fuck! thats fucking cheap! alot cheaper then roses or dinner and a movie.



Or...she'll realize how truly bad you are in bed, and that she prefers the machine over you. And in a few weeks, you'll have to find yourself a new girl, and you'll be down 700 bucks.

quote:Originally posted by djshadoworgandonor:

you people can spend 600$ on a ps3 and wait in line for 3 days but you think its expensive to spend 700$ for a machine thats gonna get me sex with my girl 3 times a much? in a years time if i go from fucking her twice a week to 6 times a week thats 300 more tiems a year which adds up to about hmmm a lil over 2$ a fuck! thats fucking cheap! alot cheaper then roses or dinner and a movie.



...Your logic astounds me.

Just go get a fucking hooker.

*ponders how many vibrators she could buy with $700*

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

she prefers the machine over you.

quote:Originally posted by djshadoworgandonor:

you people can spend 600$ on a ps3 and wait in line for 3 days but you think its expensive to spend 700$ for a machine thats gonna get me sex with my girl 3 times a much? in a years time if i go from fucking her twice a week to 6 times a week thats 300 more tiems a year which adds up to about hmmm a lil over 2$ a fuck! thats fucking cheap! alot cheaper then roses or dinner and a movie.





The man has a point here if you have bought any of those new game systems you have no say in this because your just as dumb as this man. Still you may be getting more sex but you shouldn't need to spend that much money not to mention like said what happens when she prefers the machine to you? 250 strokes a miniute is a lot more then any man could ever compete with. There is a reason that horses got replaced by tractors, and lumber jacks get replaced by tree cutter machine things, and other shit. Because a machine can be better and has as much endurance as a person could need. Not saying that a girl would necisarrly not prefer the real thing but hey why do you think girls buy sex toys? Because it can be better then a man if the guy sucks. So this COULD potentially backfire and end up in more sex just not for you.

quote:Originally posted by djshadoworgandonor:

you people can spend 600$ on a ps3 and wait in line for 3 days but you think its expensive to spend 700$ for a machine thats gonna get me sex with my girl 3 times a much? in a years time if i go from fucking her twice a week to 6 times a week thats 300 more tiems a year which adds up to about hmmm a lil over 2$ a fuck! thats fucking cheap! alot cheaper then roses or dinner and a movie.



First of all, who are "you people?". Secondly, I've never even thought about buying a ps3, or any high priced item for no reason other than if I need it, so where the hell do you get these idea's from?

You also need to learn about something called sentences, they help.

And as for your fucking machine, why in the hell do you want one anyways? To fucking fat and lazy to use a dildo? If you wanna please your girl, get off your fat ass and do something - instead of some stupid ass machine to do it for you.

quote:Originally posted by AprenticeChemistBITCHS:



The man has a point here if you have bought any of those new game systems you have no say in this because your just as dumb as this man. Still you may be getting more sex but you shouldn't need to spend that much money not to mention like said what happens when she prefers the machine to you? 250 strokes a miniute is a lot more then any man could ever compete with. There is a reason that horses got replaced by tractors, and lumber jacks get replaced by tree cutter machine things, and other shit. Because a machine can be better and has as much endurance as a person could need. Not saying that a girl would necisarrly not prefer the real thing but hey why do you think girls buy sex toys? Because it can be better then a man if the guy sucks. So this COULD potentially backfire and end up in more sex just not for you.

Sex and affection can't plausibly be provided by something that can be assembled in your garage from spare parts. It'd be pretty pathetic to fuck that thing to boot

Just.....no. Buy a $10 dildo and do it yourself.

That's the best invention I have ever seen

You can't do it yourself? Lazy bastard.

God.

PS. Don't you know all men have two cocks?

[This message has been edited by Khepri (edited 12-04-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

Sex and affection can't plausibly be provided by something that can be assembled in your garage from spare parts. It'd be pretty pathetic to fuck that thing to boot

Well I never said it would REPLACE him, but obviously things made from garage spare parts as you put it can and will be used because why do you think girls love vibrators and dildos and that they if you look at that page they have a FEW differnt models of these sex machinces? Because people do use them and do enjoy them. I mean obviously getting fucked by a automatic fucker machine is a bit weird but theres probably tons of girls that wouldnt mind it if it felt good. Obviosly the affection part can't come from the machine but the sex sure as hell can.



Edit- For those that say hes lazy fat, hes getting the machine because hes going to fuck one hole and the machine the other. It is a little lazy to use a machine instead of a dildo but to me it seems like if your trying to thrust your dick in and out of her its going to be a bit ackward/difficult to ram a dildo up her ass at the same time or fuck her in the ass and ram a dildo up her pussy at the same time idk ive never fucked a person and used toys at the same time.

[This message has been edited by AprenticeChemistBITCHS (edited 12-04-2006).]

I could make one for pretty cheap. You could use and air cylinder and an electric solenoid. You would need an air flow control valve unless you want it shooting in and out at 30-40 MPH

might wanna make sure she's cool with having a machine fuck her before you buy that.

http://tinyurl.com/pmo47

For another $22, she'll never need you again.

...even though it looks weird as hell. And the description makes it hard to tell which way up it goes. But yeah, she'd figure it out. You'd just get in the way of a 250tpm (thrust-per-minute) pleasure-machine.

Any girl who wants double penetration for Christmas isn't going to stay with you for another year anyway.

^ True, although he doesn't sound like good material anyway. Quite frankly, I'm surprised this thread wasn't closed, although I can understand why.

http://www.extremerestraints.com/ball-crusher_1651.html

quote:Originally posted by StreetThug:

http://ww w.extremer estraints.com/ball-crusher_1651.html (http: //www.extr emerestrai nts.com/ba ll-crusher _1651.html )



That looks so painful

HOLY SODOMY BATMAN!

quote:Originally posted by TruthWielder:

Batman sodomized me!

!

quote:I was at a swing party when i was introduced to this machine._ Intrigued by & interested in trying it out I was bent over & greased up good at my back door entrance! Then the biggest dong we had was attached to it & I was positioned with my cheeks spread & the dong pressing against my rectum. I then felt it slip inside me & started deeper probing right away. Wow I was paralyzed as the dong was rammed inside my asshole with deep fast strokes. Increasing the stroke speed more each minute had my orgasms occuring every few minutes. I was enjoying each climax & shotting my loads into my mout and after 1 hour had shot 11 loads into my mouth. I love this machine. Now taking 2 10 inch cocks up my ass at the same time is possible & I enjoy doing it all te time!

LOL

quote:Originally posted by bloodenangel:

*ponders how many vibrators she could buy with $700*

More than you could fit in all your holes at once.

That thing only has 1/12th of a horsepower. Why not just use the money to buy a horse? 12 times more powerful, and you don't even need the Vac-U-Lock dildo system.