A few weeks ago I had sex, and I may be pregnant.

I got the morning after pill, and unless it fucked with my cycle, I'm over a week late on my period.

I haven't started freaking out yet, because I had spotting for about a week after I took the pill, and they said it might mess with my cycle. I'm waiting to find out for sure until after I take my exams, as I don't need that stress on top of everything else.

I've already decided that if I am pregnant, I'm going to have an abortion. My dilemma is this; Legally, I don't have to tell the guy. But I feel that telling him would be the right thing to do, am I right? We're not best buddies or anything, but we talk occasionally. I sort of feel like it might be awkward to approach him about it though... "hey buddy, I'm having your abortion! k bye."

Well, he DID do half the work in getting you pregnant, so I assume you should tell him.

quote:Originally posted by Bucephalus:

We're not best buddies or anything, but we talk occasionally

So you had sex with him and are now possibly carrying his child??

And i'm not even going to get into my abortion views with people who are too stupid to use contraception, or dont use it properly.

[This message has been edited by reject (edited 11-30-2006).]

Assuming you weren't trying to have a child and he's not morally objectionable to having the abortion, I don't see any need to tell him.

I really admire how well you're looking at the situation!

Good luck, don't let it get you down no matter what happens.

Tell him. But not until you're sure that yo're pregnant.

However, if you took the morning after pill right after and took it exactly how they said then its slim chances you're pregnant. It fucks with your cycle you already know that, AND you're under stress from exams and thinking about the possibility of being pregnant, that can mess with things too.

Remember people , the question is whether she should tell him.

If this becomes a Pro "choice" or Pro Life debate then it will get closed.

OP, Kati gave you the right advice.

Oh, well if it would be awkward, of course you shouldn't tell him you're aborting your collective fetus!

[This message has been edited by Zonko (edited 11-30-2006).]

Man, I wish my girl had half the sense that you do.

I agree you're probably not knocked up, but if you are and go for the abortion, I say don't tell unless you are expecting him to pay for half of it.

If you're sure you are not willing to carry the child to term, why put this stress on him?

If you do tell him then make sure you choose the time and place with a little fore thought.

Remember you may think he is pro choice or he may have previously said that he is pro choice but no one really knows til it comes down to it.

This is probably the most emotive subject going and guarantees strong emotional responses.

To be frank, if it were me then i'd probably break your face before you had had chance to finish the sentence!

He may possibly react the same way.

Remember people get shot over this and clinics blown up.

So make sure you have other people around you.

*edit Which btw is pretty much the thinking behind you legally not having to tell him.

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 11-30-2006).]

I 2nd the person above me. The break through bleeding probably means you're not. But the way to know for sure is to pee on a stick.

But if you're just going to abort it, then don't tell the guy. If you have an existing relationship, then a courtesy call is in order. Think of it like getting birth control. Would you call a one night stand to tell him you are on the ring instead of the pill? But you would tell your boyfriend.

quote:Originally posted by Wmupilot:

Would you call a one night stand to tell him you are on the ring instead of the pill? But you would tell your boyfriend.

That's a little bit different.

Jack, this guy is ridiculously nice, so I'm not worried about him flipping out. I just feel like if I go through with it, I'll feel guilty not only for the abortion, but for not letting him have a say.

Not that he'd be having a say, exactly, if he disagreed, but we're talking about a baby here. It's not like I'm hiding from him that I had his cat put to sleep or something.

quote:Originally posted by Bucephalus:

That's a little bit different.

Jack, this guy is ridiculously nice, so I'm not worried about him flipping out. I just feel like if I go through with it, I'll feel guilty not only for the abortion, but for not letting him have a say.

Not that he'd be having a say, exactly, if he disagreed, but we're talking about a baby here. It's not like I'm hiding from him that I had his cat put to sleep or something.

It really shouldn't be a big deal. This is common practice. You've already made up your mind, and you only speak with him occassionally you said. If it turns out that you're pregnant, just don't tell him. You've already made up your mind, so hearing what he has to say won't really benefit you, and it won't benefit him because he'll only stress about it. If you can handle the stress yourself, then just keep it to yourself.

Personally I'd rather not know. That's just how I am. If he's the same way you think, then do him the favor of letting him stay unconcerned.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:



Personally I'd rather not know. That's just how I am. If he's the same way you think, then do him the favor of letting him stay unconcerned.

Hmm, I think you just changed my mind about telling him. Thank you.

Unless he asks though. He's already inquired a couple of times about how I'm doing, which is just a nicer way of asking "did it work?" I love how those conversations go. "How are you?" Fine, and you? "Great... so... how are you doing?"

quote:Originally posted by Bucephalus:

Hmm, I think you just changed my mind about telling him. Thank you.

Unless he asks though. He's already inquired a couple of times about how I'm doing, which is just a nicer way of asking "did it work?" I love how those conversations go. "How are you?" Fine, and you? "Great... so... how are you doing?"

Yeah I can imagine how those conversations must feel. I just think that since you aren't really with him in a serious relationship he'd probably freak out upon hearing the news. :/ He's already worried, so assuage his fears, and let life continue as normal. That's the whole point of the procedure anyway.

I just wanted to say Bravo to Jack. The subject brought up was a guaranteed plan of action for something you are at extreme moral odds with, and it is you that makes a note of keeping this away from the pro-life/pro-choice debate.

That's just good, fair moderating.

Sorry, this isn't some sucking up nonsense I just happen to be living in a very conservative area right now, and a sensible headed pro-lifer is a bit of an amazing thing to me.

kudos.