I've been with my girl for about two and a half years now. It hasn't been a smooth ride, like everybody we had our ups [way ups] and downs[way down]. But recently its like only downs. But mostly, because of my own doing. Now she tells me she wants a break. Now how long should a break last?...or what's an acceptable period of time?...

We already are on the break, but just..I keep thinking about her. I can't seem to get it out of my head. Even when I search for something to do.

You do know that 'break' is code for 'I want to see if I can do better but have you as a back up,' right?

'Whats wrong with a break?'

'Nothing. But its a hop, skip, and a week from a break-up.'

She did say that at first...but over thanksgiving break, she told me it's not like she's going to search for it. She just wants some time on her own. Find out if this is the relationship she wants to be in, cause we both got together at a young age, and didn't know what we were doing...or somthing like that.

hmm...I really dont like being the person to do this but it has to happen. She is really afraid to just flat out break up with you is what this comes down to. She would NOT do this if she was interested in you, simply her interest is dying and she doesnt want to flat out dump you because she isnt sure of her feelings exactly, but one thing you can be sure of at this point is that its over for at least now.

This sort of thing happens all the time, so dont feel that bad. However, the next time you two talk this "break" over, tell her you dont want to play games and end it yourself. It might sound rediculous to you right now but you ending this in the long run will be a better move for you instead of you waiting to hear "i'm happier outside of this relationship" from her after the break is supposed to end.

It doesnt sound like youve heard these words from a girl before but believe me a "break" is universal bullshit that many many girls and some ball-less guy's spew out...

end it before she does.

The most important thing I have to say is that, these problems you've been having dude, they've not all been your fault.

I can't name any examples of course, but I guarantee you this. A relationship is a two-way street, and the responsibility is not all just yours.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

A relationship is a two-way street, and the responsibility is not all just yours.



Have you ever considered a job as a motivational speaker? I'll give you 20 bucks to sit down and have a talk with my girl.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

'Whats wrong with a break?'

'Nothing. But its a hop, skip, and a week from a break-up.'



Pretty much, yeah.

But she has me al confused thought...Cause we're going back to our home country in Dec...we're internationals in the States. And she told me she wants to spend christmas and New years with me. Even go over to her place, so we can screw around, every week or so...

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:



Have you ever considered a job as a motivational speaker? I'll give you 20 bucks to sit down and have a talk with my girl.

I lack motivation

If you're serious, my msn is in my profile.

[This message has been edited by stab (edited 11-29-2006).]

Well I went on a break once---> ex bfs choice...he was confused er something, and it lasted like a month .5

^ Well that's excellent, did anything happen?

It'll probably be fine. If its been your fault, and you still want her, fix your problems! Its not that hard to make a girl feel loved.

My girlfriend did the same thing a couple years ago. Same situation, I fixed up and today we are still togeather happily. It lasted about 3 months, but she was in depression, et cetera.

Good luck. Sounds like youll be right as rain.

^Ah, the voice of hope. Naive though it may be.

If it was her decision then avoid contact with her. Make her miss you just as if she avoided contact with you.

[This message has been edited by Minority Deport (edited 11-29-2006).]

Cheat on her.

quote:Originally posted by Swany:

It'll probably be fine. If its been your fault, and you still want her, fix your problems! Its not that hard to make a girl feel loved.

My girlfriend did the same thing a couple years ago. Same situation, I fixed up and today we are still togeather happily. It lasted about 3 months, but she was in depression, et cetera.

Good luck. Sounds like youll be right as rain.



It's not that easy...I already fixed something a few months back, I feel if I do something again, she'll think nothing of it. The other thing is she shows no emotions whatsoever. I don't know what she's thinking or feeling. She told me there's a pretty big chance we'll get backtogether at the end of this 'break', but at what expense?

quote:Originally posted by Minority Deport:

If it was her decision then avoid contact with her. Make her miss you just as if she avoided contact with you.



I tried that...But I can't,or maybe I haven't tried hard enough. But I just get this feeling to talk to her, get to know what's going on with her with this break thing. I can't get her out of my head

She wants to be with other people.

^ Sounds like that's about right though...But then why would she tell me there's a very high chance we'll get back together...Maybe she just wants to hang-out with her girl-friends and shit, but not necesaraly other guys?

quote:Originally posted by 5.14.9.5.12:

But recently its like only downs. But mostly, because of MY own doing.



In my experience break = the end. But, maybe you should tell us a bit more bout how you fucked up so we have a better clue of what's goin on



And if you really love this girl, and do get another chance, don't fuck up this time boy

quote:Originally posted by 5.14.9.5.12:

^ Sounds like that's about right though...But then why would she tell me there's a very high chance we'll get back together

Because she wants to fuck other people without technically cheating on you.

You aren't giving us a lot of info about how this went down, but generally a "break" is either really what the rest of us would consider a break-up, or is them affriad to actually break-up because they aren't sure how they feel/don't want to hurt your feelings/etc, or is just them wanting to see other people.

My ex girlfriend did the whole "break" thing, and when I asked hey to explain what exactly a "break" meant saying breaks are really bullshit her definition of a "break" was pretty much a break-up but with a possibility of getting back together wereas "break-up" means that possibility isn't there. I personally would have just called it a break-up and that's what it ended up being.

[This message has been edited by Cloaked Dagger (edited 12-01-2006).]

That same thing just happened to me about a week ago. And this other person I know, it happened to them the week before that (actually, in that case it was just a clean break-up.. for on real reason).

The problem for me was that there was no problem. We've had ups and downs, sure, but I can't think of any recent downs. Worst part is she won't talk to me about it, so it's pointless.

I have decided that she is pretty much breaking up with me, so I am trying to accept that. It's a pretty shitty deal, but there's nothing you can really do.

My advice is get the fuck out of that relationship. End the break. End all of it. Because in the end she is probably going to dump you anyway, and/or the relationship won't be the same anymore. Then one day you'll find out she has been seeing some guy on the side named Carl since the moment the 2 of you went on a break. They start dating right after she breaks it off with you 100%. Then you get depressed, and wonder how long that was going on for. Then alcohol and drugs come into play. You'll refuse to leave your room for weeks at a time. You lose weight and sleep and your sanity...

*Goes and cries in the corner*