I have a friend, he's the weirdest fucker you'll ever meet. Any way, he's been keeping track of his habits. In the past 31 nights he's been to a strip club 20 times.

He's never gone and not gotten a lap dance. He averages 2-3 lap dances and has known to even get 4.

He borrows money from friends for them. I took him once, before hand, always, he just gets massively fucked up. The drugs aren't even an issue (Meth, opiates, coke, speed, weed, benzos...everything) but it's the CONSTANT lap dances. The time I drove him, he said "Okay, just one lap dance...can you pay for me to get in, otherwise I can't afford a dance". So I obliged. We get in, and he gets a dance. Before he gets back to his seat next to me, a stripper intercepts him (they ALL know him there, and know he's a guaranteed customer) and before even coming back to me he just walks away to the ATM. He withdraws money he's been saving for a course, and gets two more dances.

It's a problem. He sees a psychologist. But they don't help him.

To quote "When I come out of the strippers, it's the only time I feel alive". It's an addiction. And quite a bad one. Sure, it helps him function, but I want to help him. I have no idea where to start. Totse is pretty sick/twisted, so I thought I'd come here, since when I ask people in real life they laugh at the story, and that's it.

Sure, it was funny, but it's gone beyond funny.

[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 11-28-2006).]

That's certainly a new one I've heard.. I'll sleep on it.

so hes a nympho minus the sex part?

quote:Originally posted by gmail:

so hes a nympho minus the sex part?

He has no desire for sex. But if it happens, he lets it. Ugly kid. Very strange looking. Loves meth. But best personality as well. Girls love him. But he doesn't want to "Subject them to him". To quote him "Look at me, I'm a fucking druggy. I'm infectious. I don't want to fuck up a perfectly nice girl's life". He regrets sleeping with girls as well. He says things like "...knowing me, they'll kill them selves for having sex with me".

*edit*

There's a girl at this club and the only reason I can see her being there is for guys who have orangutan fetishes. She's Asian. Not the yellow type, she's the brown type. Disgusting face. 1/10. Yuck body. So mother fucking short. I swear to god, she looks like a bald orangutan. Any way, he gets dances off of her every now and then, and I know for a fact he'd be disgusted by her in the real world. But in there she's worth paying for a dance. I don't get it. What makes a disgusting girl he wouldn't look twice at in the real world, be attractive to him in a strip club?

Like I said, I need to figure him out, and help him.



[This message has been edited by arquin (edited 11-28-2006).]

Sounds like he has a bad self image, needs to try to work his way out of the drugs(if it's that bad), and get psychological help?

quote:Originally posted by arquin:



The time I drove him, he said "Okay, just one lap dance...can you pay for me to get in, otherwise I can't afford a dance". So I obliged. We get in, and he gets a dance. Before he gets back to his seat next to me, a stripper intercepts him (they ALL know him there, and know he's a guaranteed customer) and before even coming back to me he just walks away to the ATM. He withdraws money he's been saving for a course, and gets two more dances.

Did he get your money back? If you didn't pay his way in, would you still be his friend (in his eyes).

Therapy only works if a person wants help. If it's not working, he's wasting money that he could be using for lap dances.

I don't think there is anything you can do for him, unless you stop supporting his addiction possibly. He has to want your help. Does he ask for it?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Did he get your money back? If you didn't pay his way in, would you still be his friend (in his eyes).

Therapy only works if a person wants help. If it's not working, he's wasting money that he could be using for lap dances.

I don't think there is anything you can do for him, unless you stop supporting his addiction possibly. He has to want your help. Does he ask for it?

1. He'd always be my mate. Regardless.

2. He is going to therapy because he's a messed up kid. Nothing to do with the strippers. He's ashamed to mention it.

3. He does want help, but hasn't asked for it. I know him well enough to know that he's confused about his habit and doesn't want to be addicted to strippers. Again, to quote him "When I'm not at a titty bar, I'm depressed and can only think about how much I'd like to be at one. Then, when I'm at one, I'm happy but thinking 'I could be out living my life, instead I'm here'"

I know guys handle things differently than women, but maybe you need to have a deep sit-down talk with him and ask him how you can help him.

Going along with him just doesn't seem helpful to me.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Going along with him just doesn't seem helpful to me.

I don't. I have a girlfriend. Since he's had his addiction I've only gone with him once.

You need to talk to him and find out if he wants help, and brainstorm as to how you can do that.

A friend of mine goes almost every fucking night to the casino these days, or to some illegal gambling houses. He has last over 5k in the last few weeks. But that doesn't matter, cause even if he lost 100k it won't stop him from going.

I know it's not exactly the same but an addiction is an addiction. People like this don't want help, and until that changes there is nothing you can do for them, I've tried.

Yes. My brother was an alcoholic and abused drugs for over 20 years. It took him that long before he decided to get help and he still relapes from time to time. There was nothing I could do except let him I know I love him.

It's up to the person to want help, and that usually happens when they hit rock bottom...if they're lucky.

quote:Originally posted by Aseren:

A friend of mine goes almost every fucking night to the casino these days, or to some illegal gambling houses. He has last over 5k in the last few weeks. But that doesn't matter, cause even if he lost 100k it won't stop him from going.

I know it's not exactly the same but an addiction is an addiction. People like this don't want help, and until that changes there is nothing you can do for them, I've tried.

This friend has also been addicted to gambling. His dad is a cop and loses whole pay cheques in one bet. So that scared him away from gambling. Even though he never went in with more than $50. And usually came out with $200+. But he knows that's how it usually starts. Great luck at first, then a downward spiral.

Drugs as well. This kids just...so...addictive.

Have you tried helping your friend, at all?

Yeah, I tried to help him. We've had some long conversations.

During those conversations he admitted it was going the wrong way for him. He not only looked like shit, from stress and leading a double live, spending night after night in the casino, but he also felt like shit. He still couldn't stop. I told him to sign himself out at the casino, we went together. He wasn't allowed to enter for a year. This is basically all I could do for him.

It went pretty well for a couple of months, then some asshole introduced him to the wonderful world of illegal gambling houses. Which is where it all started going downhill again.

The hardest thing to do is to let go after a while. Know that being their friend, you can help them go in the right direction, but that is all. Also, you're not their mother or father, even though they are addicted, and you feel somewhat responsible to help them, you really can't do a lot, unless they wanne do it themselves.

Never get mad at your friend, this will only make him stop talking to you, and think that he shouldn't go for you (to the casino, clubs). Make him understand that he's hurting himself.

[This message has been edited by Aseren (edited 11-28-2006).]

I know a guy that has this kind of addiction. He solved it by getting a job that involved a strip club. He even has lunch there on a regular basis. It's all free of charge for him now.

If he doesn't want help, then there's nothing you can do to help. You know that as well as anybody.

Where does he get the money to have that many dances?!



It's not helpfull, but if he's addicted to lap dances, he could just allways.. not go?.



Back when I was bulimic and had the urge to eat huge amounts and then throw it up every few hours, I dealt with the problem by simply not going near the supermarket. Also, being poor as fuck and never having any food in the house.



Thats probably not very helpfull..But the next time you go out with him and he's like

"oooh!! strippers!" try to get him to go to a rave, or a DnB club, or anything, anything devoid of women in small spangly things willing to take money to rub their crotches on his face.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Thats probably not very helpfull..But the next time you go out with him and he's like

"oooh!! strippers!" try to get him to go to a rave, or a DnB club, or anything, anything devoid of women in small spangly things willing to take money to rub their crotches on his face.

This is good advice. Girls at a rave will rub their crotches on his face for free

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

I know a guy that has this kind of addiction. He solved it by getting a job that involved a strip club. He even has lunch there on a regular basis. It's all free of charge for him now.

If he doesn't want help, then there's nothing you can do to help. You know that as well as anybody.

That's what I was thinking. He's found a love, he should exploit it to his best ability.