I have recently acquired a friend w/ benefits, and all we have done is make out, once or twice, and now i feel fucked up every time i do this, because...i love her, but, just as a friend, not any more really, but seeing as i have never had sex, i kinda wanna do it w/ someone, maybe her...so, what should i do? (NOTE: As much as it probably sounds, I am, in fact, a guy, and i am NOT gay)

Thanks,

Kman101

Rape her.

I dont see anything wrong with losing your virginity to a friend who you really care about. But you gotta establish ground rules up front.

2 things: 1.what sort of ground rules? 2.how should i decide if im...unsure?

Okay listen up KMart101. Talk to her about it. If she's a virgin to, ask her about when she wants to lose it, and to what kind of guy. And if you match the description, just hint at it a little, and if you are getting good signals, either A) ask her about it before hand, or B) just do it in the heat of the moment.



ps, you probably shouldn't do any of the above if you guys aren't that good of friends.

i think we're good friends, shes actually told me that she's um...masterbated to me? so, um...i dunno what anyone else's standards might be?

quote:Originally posted by kman101:

2 things: 1.what sort of ground rules? 2.how should i decide if im...unsure?



1) You have to decide what you want from the relationship, and you have to make sure that you both know exactly what that is. If all you want is to fool around, then make sure you dont lead her on into getting too emotional.

2) Why are you unsure? You want to save your virginity for someone special? You dont think she'd be willing? Or you think it'll hurt the relationship?

i think she might be willing, but it might hurt our friendship, and um...i dunno, i dont think (yes, i think weird) that shes the right person for me to do this with, and i feel fucked up after, and seeing as i might soon be getting a gf(arg, grammer!) i dont know

quote:Originally posted by kman101:

i think she might be willing, but it might hurt our friendship, and um...i dunno, i dont think (yes, i think weird) that shes the right person for me to do this with, and i feel fucked up after, and seeing as i might soon be getting a gf(arg, grammer!) i dont know



Then theres no choice to make. Theres no generic awnser here, everyones different. Some people couldnt care who they lose their virginity to, some people just want it to be someone they care about, and some people wait for 'the one' or marriage or whatever.

You said you feel fucked up after just making out with her, and if feel that she's not the one for whatever reason...then dont do it. You only get one chance with virginity. It's better to wait a few years then to end up regretting it.

At the least, the first girl you end up laying with should be someone you're -completely- comfortable with. This may sound kind of sappy, but I think its a fairly unique/beautiful experience. You'll ruin the experience if you do it in a way that makes you feel 'fucked up' right after.

ok, thanks...this has really helped...btw, can i get your email address?

quote:Originally posted by kman101:

ok, thanks...this has really helped...btw, can i get your email address?



I'm not sure if you meant mine or not, but I'll post it anyways.

Email/Yahoo: Silent_Y_Mind@yahoo.com

AIM: SilentYMind

Get her naked. Then decide.

You'll meet many women, judging by the way you typed it out, your pretty new to the game?

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

But you gotta establish ground rules up front.

You do? I never did.

But this situation is a bit different.

Kman, is there the potential to fall in love with her...and her with you?

to reply to both questions, i love her as a friend, and yes, im um...new to the game?

ask her if she's "up for going further and trying more". if not, give it some time so she opens up more.

and if its a no, then do i drop it?