Ive realized that the reason i havent had any interest in pursuing the two (good looking imo) girls that have expressed much interest me in the last two months is because i still like my ex.

The reason we broke up was because i was frustrated with her never having enough time to see me, and so it wasnt because i didnt like her anymore, i think i still like her.

Recently i recieved an email to her, saying how much it means to her that we're talking again and that she misses me, im confused as how to read that. Im not looking for instructions, just more or less philosophies as to how people (guys or girls) have done it in the past, although i ultimately will probably try it in my own way and fuck it up royally i still want to hear from other people.

If you need any other info... ask me im going back to studying my law test, peace

The same way you hooked up with them in the first place.

I haven't and I don't want to.

uhh...if you still have feelings for her, hooking up is a bad idea.

Well, I hooked up with my ex when I got back from England. We've been on and off for about the past year, and whenever we've been broken up we still remain best friends (I have the greatest situation ever..seriously). Anyway, now I'm in a bit of a weird place with him.

We're more than friends, but not back together. Not "friends with benefits", but still really close. It's like some sort weird relationship purgatory, but neither of us seem that unhappy with the situation.

I think it's going to take one of us finding someone else to go out with for there to be some sort of line drawn.



[This message has been edited by Miffy (edited 11-27-2006).]

Yes, I have.

....and it was a bad idea.

dont do it man! haha i tried to, and it blew up in my face and hurt like hell. i mean, unless of course you know she definately wants you back intimately.

yeah. i'm sorta goign through the same thing. we broke up in january cause she "had to find herself" your 16 what is there to find? anyways we still talked a little bit and then one of her friends was stupid and we stopped talking for 4 months or whatever. started talking again and now she seems to drop hints and then take them back and then say something else. i've never stopped liking her honestly and i think shes only been with one other guy. i'd like to hear other peoples expirences also and how it ended up turning out. in my mind i foresee a perfect life. but whatever

Scary, someone I never thought I'd see again may be showing back up..

People must be getting lonely/desperate this holiday!

quote:Originally posted by Miffy:

Well, I hooked up with my ex when I got back from England. We've been on and off for about the past year, and whenever we've been broken up we still remain best friends (I have the greatest situation ever..seriously). Anyway, now I'm in a bit of a weird place with him.

We're more than friends, but not back together. Not "friends with benefits", but still really close. It's like some sort weird relationship purgatory, but neither of us seem that unhappy with the situation.

I think it's going to take one of us finding someone else to go out with for there to be some sort of line drawn.





seems to be the EXACT situation im in now.

It's a bad idea. I've done it, and it was a mistake.

I got emails from an ex saying how she was happy that we were talking again. It just means she wants to be friends. Don't try to get with her. Move on. Believe me you will be better off if you do than if you mess around in the past. You aren't ready to be friends with her if you still have feelings. Don't think about her. Go out with a new girl or two, and things will be better for you. You can't expect to have feelings for them right away. Just use your time getting to know new people and being social. It's the best course of action in this situation.

I really do wish i could stop thinking about it, i know how it will probably end up (badly) but it still seems like the right thing to do... im hopeless i guess, i would try and get a new gf but there are literaly no girls i believe are worth going out with in my area, and if there are, theyre already taken, the good ones are snatched up very quickly here.

I'm back with my ex...

Strange eh?

Two of 'em... I kissed another one night while drunk in a pub, but that doesnt count.

One I broke up with and she suggested we be fuck-buddies... but by that she meant "Let's not break up at all, asshole!" and it took me less than 24hrs to realise this... but we did "hook up" while considered ex.

The other, she came to see me a few months ago and we fucked a few times... it was good, like old times. I don't think she's over me, but I told her beforehand in no uncertain terms that we were just friends now.

Ive never wanted to get back together with an ex-girlfriend.

I'm in the EXACT same situation, although the time frame is longer...

And I mean exact; I broke up with her coz of lack of together time... and when we started talking, she sent me a text saying how she loved that we were talking again and she misses me, and wants to see me....

What you have to do is make sure she has *some* feelings for you... make sure she isn't pissed at you or anything...

Talk for quite a while, a month at least... Take her out, don't treat it as a date; at the end if it goes well kiss her. Pop the question, et voila!

Of course, if she takes the first step, run along with her!

quote:Originally posted by Dazzle:

I'm in the EXACT same situation, although the time frame is longer...

And I mean exact; I broke up with her coz of lack of together time... and when we started talking, she sent me a text saying how she loved that we were talking again and she misses me, and wants to see me....

What you have to do is make sure she has *some* feelings for you... make sure she isn't pissed at you or anything...

Talk for quite a while, a month at least... Take her out, don't treat it as a date; at the end if it goes well kiss her. Pop the question, et voila!

Of course, if she takes the first step, run along with her!

thank you for that post, its really comforting to know someone is in the same situation, i will have to try that, i appreciate the advice.

Jees i found out that some of my friends were making fun of me for dating this girl, and thats when i figured out fo the first time that i still like her... i told my close friends that id known for almost a decade that if someone makes fun of her in front of my face again that they were going to get beaten

I have been on and off with a girl for almost 4 years. Since I was 14!! We are still close and good friends and once again... She has told me she has feelings for me Although iv just come out of a relationship and I need some lovin! + she is pretty hot this time im not interested.

Yeah been there. My Ex was infact a girl i had been with some 15 years previous. Stumbled across her again one day on the interweb and we got emailing, then texting and then I left the wife for her.

I hooked up with one of my exes a few times after we broke up, but knowing what i do about her now, there isnt a chance in hell.

There are one or two others i think id still consider hooking up with again.

mm got to love the lady'ing skills, i now have her really looking forward to my next visit to her place... *evil grin* all goes according to plan

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

uhh...if you still have feelings for her, hooking up is a bad idea.

Very Bad, I have and still do it. But it takes a special kind of relationship not to redevelop those feelings. Depends on the girl I guess.

Peace

quote:Originally posted by Dazzle:

I'm in the EXACT same situation, although the time frame is longer...

And I mean exact; I broke up with her coz of lack of together time... and when we started talking, she sent me a text saying how she loved that we were talking again and she misses me, and wants to see me....

What you have to do is make sure she has *some* feelings for you... make sure she isn't pissed at you or anything...

Talk for quite a while, a month at least... Take her out, don't treat it as a date; at the end if it goes well kiss her. Pop the question, et voila!

Of course, if she takes the first step, run along with her!

BTW did you actually hook up with that ex again?

/update

Im now certain that we're going to be able to go out again, i havent been this happy since we started going out. She invited me out to lunch today, which isnt a big deal, but she started feeding me (which she knows i love) in the middle of the meal, told me shes buying me clothes and that i HAVE to come visit her at work, and we're spending all of next friday together (P.A day) which is when ill probably ask her... i think that qualifies as liking me back, and depending on the amount of flames i do or dont recieve from this post i will post another update at that time.

/end update

Think of it as a drug, in that you really really really want it... but it will only make your situation worse.

I had dinner with an ex tonight. Just.........wow. Can't believe I ever dated her. Just goes to show I've learned my lesson

I've done it.. but not really recommended.. BUT all of us saying don't do it wont stop you.. so heres a little advice on how to do it.

1) Lean back.. mentally and physically when you're with her, and talking with her. You want to give the impression that if nothing happens with you guys, you're fine.. and if something does, you're cool with that too.

2) Don't shower her with attention! Just don't do it! Call her once for every 2-3 times she calls you, and don't call more than once a week! and no more than 2 emails in a week.

3) Play it cool! this goes with number 1, if you aren't cool with how ever the outcome is then you wont get the re-hookup

4) Enjoy it well it lasts.. after you break up with someone it sorta draws some sort of line in the relationship.. You'll be "off and on" so to speak once you get back with her.

She was tense due to thesis writing and figured I'd be effective stress relief.

EDIT: I should mention that a previous occasion where we hooked up again, after breaking up, she wasn't thinking and got halfway across the distance to kiss me before she realised what she was doing (I'd said something hilarious). About five seconds after she pulled back looking a little embaressed I put a hand behind her head and kissed her. She looked so happy when we came up for air... I kinda miss her

[This message has been edited by Kyoki (edited 12-01-2006).]

he had spare tickets to the strokes, he messaged me offering them. i stopped by to pick them up. stuff happens.

If by "hooked up" you mean me locking her out of her house overnight in the height of the coyote run, then yes.

Otherwise, hell no.

I broke up with this woman I really loved/love in January.

We both got another partner for about 3 months and broke up with them about the same time.

In April we started talking again and found that neither of us were real sure why we broke up in the first place. Oh we knew the certain arguments and events and what not. But none of it - not even put together - seemed good enough reason to break up.

So in July we started to hang out a lot again. And now IM every night [we have to IM as she is deaf - as some of you already know].

We have grown even closer as friends than we were when we were going together. She knows that I would like to get back together with her and has told me that her usual rule of not giving a guy a second chance does not apply to me.

She has also said that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now [this last guy really managed to mess her up a lot in that 3 months and she has some medical probvlems...on top of the fact that her Mom has moved into her house and that is causing a lot of problems for her].

But as I said she knows my desires and is perfectly ok with it. She says that she is really enjoying things now and likes the way they are going too and to lets see where time takes us.

So it is very promising I think since it would be just as east - or easier in fact - to just tell me right now that she doesn't ever want to get back together. I think she just needs to see that I really do care for her and that I won't go anywhere when things go a little rough and that it isn't [just] the sex that I'm interested in.

So you may want to take things slow and try to get a feel for where her wants and wishes are.

But I know it ain't as easy to be patient like that when you're a lot younger...

Good luck either way.

quote:Originally posted by FCAdam:

I really do wish i could stop thinking about it, i know how it will probably end up (badly) but it still seems like the right thing to do... im hopeless i guess, i would try and get a new gf but there are literaly no girls i believe are worth going out with in my area, and if there are, theyre already taken, the good ones are snatched up very quickly here.

You're going to learn that the good ones can't be snatched up quickly...it's their ability to maintain on their own that makes them a 'good one'.