Is that a good idea?

I've never just had sex with someone I wasn't dating. But I'm on hold from this really long relationship and I still love this girl. She believes we should have sex with other people, just not date them...

I have no problem with her doing that, but I'm not sure if I want to. Sex to me, is more than just casual...

Should I go for it, or just stick to masturbation.

Thanks, &T.

if you don't want to it's probably just going to bring up a bunch of feelings of guilt and regret. just stick to masturbating and see if how you feel changes.

Somehow, I have a feeling you two are going to be making a more permanent break-up in the near future. May I offer my consolation now.

As long as you're both clear on what the situation is I think it's fine. The problem with these things is that one person develops feelings for the other that aren't necessarily mutual. When I was in such a situation we made rules about the relationship: If one person develops for the other, it's over. The relationship does not exist outside of the bed. And it's exclusive until one or the other finds a person they want to date.

When I did it, it wasn't for the purpose of having someone to be with, it was more for a release of sexual tension. I mean, it beats masturbation :P

As long as you're honest with eachother, it works.

I've got a feeling you'll be posting something along the lines of... "Oh fuck! Itchy red spots" after she gets passed around a few partys. Why date a girl thats a dirty?

You don't want to fuck other people. She does.

You're... okay with this?

Explain to me what I'm missing here. I would utterly and totally forbid this. Or more likely, drop her like a bad habit if she suggested it.

Whether she's consciously acknowledging it or not, she's basically saying that she doesn't think you're enough for her. The gentlemanly thing to do is to help her find something more to her taste, preferably by booting her out on her ass.

Stay strong, brother. That wheel keeps turning.

Distance doesn't work. Forget that girl. Now you can date whomever you please and not have guilt-ridden sex. Problem solved!

ive tried the whole casual thing and its not worth it, it jsut feels way too wierd.

Go for it.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

Distance doesn't work. Forget that girl. Now you can date whomever you please and not have guilt-ridden sex. Problem solved!



QFT. if you don't want to have casual sex, then don't. but if she apparently wants it, then clearly you're looking for different things.

I've found that most people eventually break through that notion that casual sex is wrong after their first real relationship is over and they haven't had sex in a few months.

Then all of a sudden it becomes ok.

Society has totally driven into every child's head that you should have a strict limit when it comes to sex. That only a very few partners is good. That's not realistic or smart. It comes through that experience with OTHER people that you learn.

Casual sex is not a bad thing. Unfortunately, this crazy conservative mindset is so ingrained into American culture that most kids believe it's THEIR beliefs and don't realize until later that they were just falling into place.

Oh, and wrap it up.

Words of wisdom from Mojo there!

quote:Originally posted by StillArmedStillAngry:

You don't want to fuck other people. She does.

You're... okay with this?

Explain to me what I'm missing here. I would utterly and totally forbid this. Or more likely, drop her like a bad habit if she suggested it.

Whether she's consciously acknowledging it or not, she's basically saying that she doesn't think you're enough for her. The gentlemanly thing to do is to help her find something more to her taste, preferably by booting her out on her ass.

Stay strong, brother. That wheel keeps turning.

We're not dating(technically) so there's nothing I can say to that. And for the most part, I am okay with that.

And I am a girl. For the millionth time.

shes a fuckign harlequin

Michael

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

I've found that most people eventually break through that notion that casual sex is wrong after their first real relationship is over and they haven't had sex in a few months.

Then all of a sudden it becomes ok.





I can vouch for that. I waited until I was 21 to lose my virginity, because I wanted it to mean something special. And it did. But once I finally lost it, my views on sex changed drastically. I still havent actually had sex with anyone but her, we've been together almost a year. But I no longer consider myself above casual sex.

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Casual sex is not a bad thing.

Yes, as long as casual sex is not confused with indiscriminate sex.

albinoblacksheep, be very certain the two of you are on the same page with this. Make certain you know exactly what is meant by casual....and....dating. To me dating is more on the side of casual than it is formal. But then, that was my generation I guess....when one dated more than one person until they met someone they wanted to see exclusively.

Btw, don't let someone else tell you what is and isn't okay for you. Even if you love them, or they you. You find out for yourself what is right for you.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-26-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by MrMojoRisin:

Unfortunately, this crazy conservative mindset is so ingrained into American culture that most kids believe it's THEIR beliefs and don't realize until later that they were just falling into place.

I just wanted to add that people often return to beliefs they held when they were younger, but instead of them being something they were taught or told...it then becomes something they have learned to be true, at least a truth for them.

quote:Originally posted by albinoblacksheep:

Is that a good idea?

I've never just had sex with someone I wasn't dating. But I'm on hold from this really long relationship and I still love this girl. She believes we should have sex with other people, just not date them...

I have no problem with her doing that, but I'm not sure if I want to. Sex to me, is more than just casual...

Should I go for it, or just stick to masturbation.

Thanks, &T.

WTF? Get rid of this bitch. How the fuck can you think you love someone when they tell you they want to fuck other people, knowing you don't feel the same way? Don't be so naive.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Yes, as long as casual sex is not confused with indiscriminate sex.

albinoblacksheep, be very certain the two of you are on the same page with this. Make certain you know exactly what is meant by casual....and....dating. To me dating is more on the side of casual than it is formal. But then, that was my generation I guess....when one dated more than one person until they met someone they wanted to see exclusively.

Btw, don't let someone else tell you what is and isn't okay for you. Even if you love them, or they you. You find out for yourself what is right for you.



I get that. I don't know, the casual sex doesn't bother me that she's doing it, cause she never will. Not a lot of people would be interested in her. It's just, if it comes up.

Dude, if she says "Lets have sex with other people", you can be damn sure she's ALREADY having sex with other people.

quote:Originally posted by Rocko:

Dude, if she says "Lets have sex with other people", you can be damn sure she's ALREADY having sex with other people.

what he said

It can create awkward situations.

I haven't had sex in about a month, and I keep seeing that guy everywhere. It's awkward, but I can't lie, it's awkward in a fun sort of way.