I am getting almighty sick of the regular 'OMG t3h condom brok0rz!11 has she caught pregnancy?' threads.

So here a little piece of Ketchian wisdom for you all:

"If you fuck, you WILL at some point fuck up!".

Its human nature, cos nobody gets nothing right all the time (and yes, i know that was a double negative! But i'm riled). The last 'perfect ' human being got hisself nailed to a tree some 2000 years ago.

She is gonna have a bout of the shits and not realise that the pill has stopped working. You'll be too drunk to put a rubber on properly. The condom will tear or maybe god will just decide to be hateful and despite doing everything right she'll fall pregnant.

SO before you have sex the next time go find out where and how you can get the Morning After Pill in your area FOR SURE! How much it costs, if you can get it OTC etc etc.

There really ain't no excuse for not doing this. Unless you'd rather spend the next 18 years of your life paying maintanence or make her have to go through an abortion.

Back when I was a teen we didn't have the MAP...would have sure saved a whole heap of people a whole pile of misery if we had.

So , as much as i think that Planned Parenthood are a bunch of murdering scum, GIVE THEM A CALL , get the SP...NOW..for favourite.

[/end rant]

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 11-25-2006).]

I still say sex should be like driving a car or hunting. Licensing should be mandatory.

*and girls*

You forgot half of a two party system.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

*and girls*

You forgot half of a two party system.

If you trust your girlfriend to drive your car or to reinstall windows then maybe.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

If you trust your girlfriend to drive your car or to reinstall windows then maybe.

Jack we females aren't all bad. Most of us yes, but not ALL of us. The boys however... the boys are all morons.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

If you trust your girlfriend to drive your car or to reinstall windows then maybe.





I dunno about windows, but I could out race you in the tiny little riced up hynudai that my mum is silly enough to beleive is hers anyday, dammit!

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:





I dunno about windows, but I could out race you in the tiny little riced up hynudai that my mum is silly enough to beleive is hers anyday, dammit!

That gains lulz!

A woman should have her own car that she loves to drive. I don't like driving other people's cars, nor others driving mine.

Sometimes, I think a woman should always have her own house too. Just like a man should have his own garage, with maybe an apartment on top for him to live in.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:





I dunno about windows, but I could out race you in the tiny little riced up hynudai that my mum is silly enough to beleive is hers anyday, dammit!

My italics.

I said 'his' car..ie something 'proper'. Not some diminutive rice cooker. Not something even a woman could reverse park. I mean a car. Something with no plastic, no 'power assisted steering', no 'AC', with a carb or a bank of carbs and more PS then db.

And remember I learnt to drive in a country where the 'jam the cup of coffee between your legs and drive to work speed' is 190 kmh and where real motoring starts at 250+ (ie past the electronic regulator)

edit* for the americans among us that's about 110 and 155 Mph respectively

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 11-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

My italics.

I said 'his' car..ie something 'proper'. Not some diminutive rice cooker. Not something even a woman could reverse park. I mean a car. Something with no plastic, no 'power assisted steering', no 'AC', with a carb or a bank of carbs and more PS then db.

And remember I learnt to drive in a country where the 'jam the cup of coffee between your legs and drive to work speed' is 190 kmh and where real motoring starts at 250+ (ie past the electronic regulator)

edit* for the americans among us that's about 110 and 155 Mph respectively



Omg I need my AC.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I said 'his' car..ie something 'proper'. Not some diminutive rice cooker. Not something even a woman could reverse park. I mean a car. Something with no plastic, no 'power assisted steering', no 'AC', with a carb or a bank of carbs and more PS then db.

You mean the way they made cars when I was a young girl?

Although, I learned how to drive a "three on the tree" pickup truck. That sucker was a bitch to steer too. I can truly appreciate power steering.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

You mean the way they made cars when I was a young girl?

Although, I learned how to drive a "three on the tree" pickup truck.





With Billy-Jo-Bob a riding shotgun nexta ya? And Papa's rifle a hanging off the back window? :P

[This message has been edited by jackketch (edited 11-25-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



With Billy-Jo-Bob a riding shotgun nexta ya? And Papa's rifle a hanging off the back window? :P



Yup. Down a long hollow so if I ran off the road I wouldn't risk hitting another car. What a gas!!!!

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

Omg I need my AC.



Actually vibrators, even anal vibrators, run on DC.

:P

^^^lol

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Yup. Down a long hollow so if I ran off the road I wouldn't risk hitting another car. What a gas!!!!





I just bet that caused no end of thigh slapping mirth down on your bayou.

Bet yo 'Popa done whupped you if the jars of 'shine in the back got a broken?

:P

You won't fuck up if you put the condom on properly and check it before you ejaculate. Problems can be prevented. If you're too drunk to put on a condom, then you're too drunk to have sex.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



I just bet that caused no end of thigh slapping mirth down on your bayou.

Bet yo 'Popa done whupped you if the jars of 'shine in the back got a broken?

:P





I'm from farm country, not the bayou...that's deep south. I did, however, learn how to handle a shotgun about that time too.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

You won't fuck up if you put the condom on properly and check it before you ejaculate. Problems can be prevented. If you're too drunk to put on a condom, then you're too drunk to have sex.

Keep up. We're talking cars and country life now.

I went to planned parenthood and got Plan B and it didn't cost ANYTHING.



I mean it is something you might want to do.



Just you have to eat a lot when you take it and remember next time to be a little more prepared.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Actually vibrators, even anal vibrators, run on DC.

:P

You're talking to a comp sci major, you think I'd know this stuff. ^^

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

If you trust your girlfriend to drive your car or to reinstall windows then maybe.

I would'ent trust my girlfriend doing either of those. When she drives, I fear for my life. Re-install Windows, BWAHAHAAHAHAA. Not in this lifetime.

Peace

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Keep up. We're talking cars and country life now.

I'm from Kansas. I don't need to hear about cars and country life. I see it every day.

I cant speak for all the other guys out there, but my girl just took the test and it was negative. -happy dance-

But yeah, she absolutely refused to take the morning after even after me begging for three days. So we dont have sex anymore.

quote:Originally posted by Chronos139:

I still say sex should be like driving a car or hunting. Licensing should be mandatory.

I agree here.. I have a friend who's gone into some major detail how he think what he calls "breeding Licensing" should work.. and it REALLY makes sense.

And to the person that said something about girls and the 2 party system.

WRONG.. granted, girls need to wise the fuck up and make sure they are doing everything correctly.. but in all honesty, If she has a kid, she doesn't pay the child support.

So what jack is saying goes for ALL guys.. IF YOU'RE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO DO MAYBE AN HOUR OF RESEARCH YOU DESERVE 18 YEARS OF TORMENT CHILD SUPPORT.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

I cant speak for all the other guys out there, but my girl just took the test and it was negative. -happy dance-

But yeah, she absolutely refused to take the morning after even after me begging for three days. So we dont have sex anymore.

-=OWNED=-

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

If you trust your girlfriend to drive your car or to reinstall windows then maybe.

My dead grandmother could reinstall this dumbed down crap. Pretending it's hard is like saying rich white rappers are credible

I can barely ride a bike, let alone drive a car so she could drive for all I care, hah

quote:Originally posted by Pilsu:

My dead grandmother could reinstall this dumbed down crap. Pretending it's hard is like saying rich white rappers are credible

Like all windows activities, it's straightforward, but contains many places to fuck it up if you don't understand something and you make a slip.

quote:Originally posted by Chronos139:

I still say sex should be like driving a car or hunting. Licensing should be mandatory.



yea, they should make you take a test.

Haha, my fuck up time also happened to be my first time. The one time she forgot her pill, and the one time I finally gave in to her.

God has a sense of humor, and I love it.

I hate condoms...

wow dude, thanks for that constructive outburst ...

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Not some diminutive rice cooker. Not something even a woman could reverse park. I mean a car. Something with no plastic, no 'power assisted steering', no 'AC', with a carb or a bank of carbs and more PS then db.



It's not the size that matters, but how you use it!!!

Anyway as we're flaunting our driving skill penis sizes, I have to inform you that my granddad taught me to drive. Considering he spent a fair few years driving tanks around..



Dont you just hate those raised roundabouts? The ones that really are a pain in the arse to drive over?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

You mean the way they made cars when I was a young girl?

Although, I learned how to drive a "three on the tree" pickup truck. That sucker was a bitch to steer too. I can truly appreciate power steering.



how old are you?

Hey jackketch, jesus wasn't perfect, 'cause he acted stupidly and got himself nailed to a tree by doing some illegal things. The point is, use the goddamn best condom you can get, by that I don't mean the cheapest one.

quote:Originally posted by kracker:

Hey jackketch, jesus wasn't perfect, 'cause he acted stupidly and got himself nailed to a tree by doing some illegal things. The point is, use the goddamn best condom you can get, by that I don't mean the cheapest one.



But lifestyles are like 10 dollars for 30.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

My italics.

I said 'his' car..ie something 'proper'. Not some diminutive rice cooker. Not something even a woman could reverse park. I mean a car. Something with no plastic, no 'power assisted steering', no 'AC', with a carb or a bank of carbs and more PS then db.

And remember I learnt to drive in a country where the 'jam the cup of coffee between your legs and drive to work speed' is 190 kmh and where real motoring starts at 250+ (ie past the electronic regulator)

edit* for the americans among us that's about 110 and 155 Mph respectively



you can't drive 155mph without power steering

quote:Originally posted by smoke em:

you can't drive 155mph without power steering



Ya think?

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



Ya think?



Depends on the road (http://www.thesimonator.uwclub.net/main/images/autobahn.jpg)

quote:Originally posted by Docta?:



Depends on the road (http://www.thesimonator.uwclub.net/main/images/autobahn.jpg)



*weeps bitter tears*

quote:Originally posted by kracker:

Hey jackketch, jesus wasn't perfect, 'cause he acted stupidly and got himself nailed to a tree by doing some illegal things. The point is, use the goddamn best condom you can get, by that I don't mean the cheapest one.

...

He didn't act stupid, and he didn't do anything illegal.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



*weeps bitter tears*

that´s dutch beer - no need to cry ..

quote:Originally posted by BSK:

that´s dutch beer - no need to cry ..



Ach was? Ich hab doch um der schoenen Autobahn willen geweint!

Es muss doch KESSELN!!

(Jack we females aren't all bad. Most of us yes, but not ALL of us. The boys however... the boys are all morons.)

Both of these male/female opinions suck. Stop being so fucking closed minded...thanks

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

I am getting almighty sick of the regular 'OMG t3h condom brok0rz!11 has she caught pregnancy?' threads.

So here a little piece of Ketchian wisdom for you all:

"If you fuck, you WILL at some point fuck up!".

Its human nature, cos nobody gets nothing right all the time (and yes, i know that was a double negative! But i'm riled). The last 'perfect ' human being got hisself nailed to a tree some 2000 years ago.

She is gonna have a bout of the shits and not realise that the pill has stopped working. You'll be too drunk to put a rubber on properly. The condom will tear or maybe god will just decide to be hateful and despite doing everything right she'll fall pregnant.

SO before you have sex the next time go find out where and how you can get the Morning After Pill in your area FOR SURE! How much it costs, if you can get it OTC etc etc.

There really ain't no excuse for not doing this. Unless you'd rather spend the next 18 years of your life paying maintanence or make her have to go through an abortion.

Back when I was a teen we didn't have the MAP...would have sure saved a whole heap of people a whole pile of misery if we had.

So , as much as i think that Planned Parenthood are a bunch of murdering scum, GIVE THEM A CALL , get the SP...NOW..for favourite.

[/end rant]



Christian fagwhore

quote:Originally posted by KevinK:

Christian fagwhore

Jack is cool, now STFU!

And Jack you lucky bastard, I wish us yanks had an autobahn. We got our interstate thing, but we decided to cheap out and use asphalt(which is half the cost but we have to replace it twice as often anyway) and the damn thing has speed limits(I top the car out anyway if I have the room).

I can reinstall windows or linux, and my car has about 500whp and spits 6 foot flames when I use the 2-step to launch.

Do I get the "coolest girl ever" prize now?

edit: yes I built/maintain the car, it's not some shop built thing that I picked up

[This message has been edited by SephirothAngelus (edited 11-28-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by SephirothAngelus:

I can reinstall windows or linux, and my car has about 500whp and spits 6 foot flames when I use the 2-step to launch.

Do I get the "coolest girl ever" prize now?

I have trouble using a USB port, and my car goes "BANG", stops, and turns off when I put my foot down.

Do I get the "Gayest guy ever" award?

Sounds like this girl in my grade who thinks shes pregnant (she's 13).

I read the topic yesterday... but meh, i think you make a great dad 8-)

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