I've been dating this guy for about 3 weeks, and yesterday we were in my bedroom making out and he started to slide his hand down my pants and into my panties, but it stopped because my mom came home.

It just seems way too soon to me, 1 month sounds okay. But its kind of strange to be like "no, we cant do this for 8 more days."

If you're in a relationship, how fast did it progess, were you both happy with how it turned out?

I kind of want him to slow down but I dont really know what to say, I dont want to be mean or anything. I just want to wait a while longer and get to know him.

So what do you think, is 3 weeks way too soon? Would you think a chick was really easy if you got in her pants after such a short amount of time?

Advice, insight, whatever. Thanks in advance.

You shouldn't be asking us if 3 weeks is too soon, ask yourself.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

I kind of want him to slow down but I dont really know what to say, I dont want to be mean or anything. I just want to wait a while longer and get to know him.

If you can't discuss it with him then avoid situations where things can happen. That's a great way to slow a guy down and it's better than being a tease.

^There is wisdom in this. Ask yourself what you believe. Who cares what's regular, you decide what you want.

EDIT - the first reply.

[This message has been edited by Belle (edited 11-23-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Narcoplectic:

You shouldn't be asking us if 3 weeks is too soon, ask yourself.I was asking you how fast things happened in relationships of your own, and how it turned out. Did you only read the title ?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

If you can't discuss it with him then avoid situations where things can happen. That's a great way to slow a guy down and it's better than being a tease.I like this, but pretty much all we do is go over to his house, so its hard to avoid. What are some things we could do to distract ourselves?

No, this is what you asked.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

If you're in a relationship, how fast did it progess, were you both happy with how it turned out?

So what do you think, is 3 weeks way too soon? Would you think a chick was really easy if you got in her pants after such a short amount of time?

Advice, insight, whatever. Thanks in advance.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-23-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

I like this, but pretty much all we do is go over to his house, so its hard to avoid. What are some things we could do to distract ourselves?



Keep to "public" areas of the house. Don't go over if no one else is home.

I don't think it's a matter of distraction, but rather avoiding certain situations.

You can only avoid the situation for so long. If you're not comfortable with it, you dont need an excuse. Be honest and upfront. And dont be afraid of losing him over it. If he walks away because you dont put out, then count yourself lucky you found out before anything happened.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

You can only avoid the situation for so long. If you're not comfortable with it, you dont need an excuse. Be honest and upfront. And dont be afraid of losing him over it. If he walks away because you dont put out, then count yourself lucky you found out before anything happened.



I agree. How can you get to know someone if all you're doing while you're together is making out and petting (or whatever you call it these days). If they can't figure out anything to do together that doesn't involve sex, then what will they have together once sex is explored?

Now, if sex is all you're wanting...why even wait another eight days?

/shrugs

I usually have sex with girls early on. Within a week of dating them most of the time. So no, 3 weeks isn't that short a time to me. If you want to avoid sexual situations, then make him take you out. Go to dinner, walk around, see a movie. Go to a concert, a play, a sporting event. Do something other than hang out in his house. That will lead to being physical all the time, and that's where it will stay. Trust me

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Now, if sex is all you're wanting...why even wait another eight days?

/shrugs no no, i don't want it. i just dont want to be unreasonable. i want to delay it as long as i can

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

[QUOTE] no no, i don't want it. i just dont want to be unreasonable. i want to delay it as long as i can



You want to delay it as long as you can? Which means...you dont really want it, but you're eventually to keep him around.

I dont respect you personally, but theres definitely a need for girls with zero self esteem in todays society.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

no no, i don't want it. i just dont want to be unreasonable. i want to delay it as long as i can

Then tell him that. He'll either wait or go on his way depending on what it is he's wanting.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Then tell him that. He'll either wait or go on his way depending on what it is he's wanting.

You speak the truth. Don't trick him into staying by making him think he has a chance, but don't do anything with him if you don't want to, he's not worth it.

Just straight out stop him, look him in the eyes and tell him that you aren't ready for it and tell him that you will let him know as soon as you are . You need to be able to talk to him about this type of stuff really openly, you are only in early stages of your relationship; so you have to start somewhere right Why not nice and early, get things established.

But yeah, just simply do that and I'm pretty sure he'll respect you even more for doing so. Unless he is an insensative prick, if he takes it badly.... means he's pretty much using you for your body and you deserve better.

Listen to oc6.

On a general note about 'timing', I met,bedded and decided to wed the girl who became my wife all within 24 hours! Ain't no firm 'rules' how sexual activity should progress.

Only thing that really counts is that you want it and are happy with it...otherwise it is too early.

You want to delay it as long as possible? You can't like him that much then...I think you know deep down what to do.

It depends on you, hell if that was me it would be quite sooner, but thats because I'm comfortable with foreplay/sex etc etc - and possibly because I'm older.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. In saying that, if you're just waiting because you think its just too early because you think you must have a time period for each base then I think that's kinda silly. If you can understand that..

It's not really a question people can give you an answer too, just their own opinions.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

You can only avoid the situation for so long. If you're not comfortable with it, you dont need an excuse. Be honest and upfront. And dont be afraid of losing him over it. If he walks away because you dont put out, then count yourself lucky you found out before anything happened.



^ agreed. Next time the situation occurs just tell you you're not ready and want to wait a little longer. If he leaves you for something dumb like that then be happy you found out early on.

i've had to do this many times. just brush their hand away and say 'not now' or 'not yet'. if they get shitty, just say you don't think you're ready.

if they have issues with that, find someone else who respects you a little more.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

You want to delay it as long as possible? You can't like him that much then...I think you know deep down what to do.I like him a lot, thats the thing. I dont want to wreck it this time. In my last relationship we had sex in the first 2 weeks and everything fell apart a month later, so I'm just a little scared and I want to know when you guys think is a better time to get sexual.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

It's not really a question people can give you an answer too, just their own opinions.I know that you can't tell me exactly how i feel, I dont really want answers, just to hear about experiences with this sort of thing, and I am 17 so you probably are older than me.

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

If you want to avoid sexual situations, then make him take you out. Go to dinner, walk around, see a movie. Go to a concert, a play, a sporting event. Do something other than hang out in his house. That will lead to being physical all the time, and that's where it will stay. Trust me Thank you, I like this advice although I do feel kind of bad having him take me out all the time. I will just try to avoid hanging out alone at eachothers houses because its easy to get started

Only let him do anal at first.

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Only let him do anal at first.Haha why

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

I like him a lot, thats the thing. I dont want to wreck it this time. In my last relationship we had sex in the first 2 weeks and everything fell apart a month later, so I'm just a little scared and I want to know when you guys think is a better time to get sexual.



I really would say that your relationship should be your guide.

I'm not so sure that it matters very much when you decide to have sex. A relationship can end two weeks after, a day after, or years after you first have sex.

But, especially given your age and the flakyness that often goes with it, I think it's better to wait and to spend time getting to know each other better beforehand.

At one point in my life I used to "discount" sex. My thinking was to get the sexual tension out of the way, then we could actually spend more time getting to know each other. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

I think that the biggest factor when it comes to having a relationship of any extended length of time is that both individuals are looking for the same sort of relationship. That commonality of intent is very important.

Maybe that is something you also want to discuss with him. Find out what his thoughts are on that. If you haven't already, that is.

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-24-2006).]

Haha, Steph, I told you that he just wanted to get into your pants!

Aw well, at least you waited as long as you did. You know you want it as bad as him, too.

Do you just 'want it' (huh huh do yu do yu? huh huh?) Or do you want him in particular?

Does he want you or does he want to do you so he can move on to the next girl? Sometimes girls like to think if they give a guy 'everyt'ing' then they kinda own him?

Is it an actual do stuff together sometimes relationship or just sex? Don't you hang out at the mall or hockey rink or other people's houses or something?

[This message has been edited by moonmeister (edited 11-24-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Haha, Steph, I told you that he just wanted to get into your pants!

At least he didn't want to wear her pants. :P

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

At least he didn't want to wear her pants. :P



I am shocked that our 'grand dame' even knows of such things :P

What would they say at the 'Baptist Women's League Of Temperance,Prayer and Knitting Circle'??!

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

At least he didn't want to wear her pants. :P

Actually, from the men Steph dates, I wouldn't be surprised.... Fucking insane Canadians emos!

Oh, no that was a long time ago. She grew up... Wow, she's nearly eighteen... Time flies so very fast.

~~~

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



I am shocked that our 'grand dame' even knows of such things :P

What would they say at the 'Baptist Women's League Of Temperance,Prayer and Knitting Circle'??!

Sounds like my kinda place... Old rich women... Free knitting matterials... Holy water... oc6, sign me up!

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 11-24-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



I am shocked that our 'grand dame' even knows of such things :P

What would they say at the 'Baptist Women's League Of Temperance,Prayer and Knitting Circle'??!

lol

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Sounds like my kinda place... Old rich women... Free knitting matterials... Holy water... oc6, sign me up!



You knit?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

You knit?



Used to know how, but I haven't had the time or the supplies of recent. Although I do still sew. I mean, what better way to patch your own clothing instead of buying new stuff?

You know, I've never really thought about it, but I'm sort of the perfect man... I can do most of the things that men marry women for (cleaning, cooking, sewing [blowjobs are out, but hey, I'm very talented with my hands. ;D]), and I still do all of the things a guy does best (drink booze, fuck, and end up getting myself in trouble) while looking cool on my motorcycle...

Damn, I AM just totally awesome!

Oh my! I can see my house from all of the way up here!

We cannot answer this question for you. You ask us do you think this is too soon? It's not our bodies, not our mentalities. If you feel uncomfortable be upfront. There is no set time when it's ok to fuck, to kiss, to touch. It's when you're both ready.

Dont forget that.

3 weeks is a long time and hes only putting his hand down your panties.

dont worry cos sex doesnt have to follow up from that straight away.

you can just stay at hand relief and oral for like 2 more months or so before you think about having sex...

but as they say a man has his needs and you should keep him happy and let him make you happy as well

^^^

Bah!!! There is no "should" at this point, imo.

Three weeks is a long time? Doesn't that depend on the frequency that they see each other? Even so...it's a drop in the bucket of time...if that.

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-24-2006).]

3 weeks is a long time, around here once you get seeing a girl, you can expect to fuck her within a day or two, or even before you get seeing her, which is great.

fuck waiting for sex, thats a mugs game, whats the point?

quote:Originally posted by southernsun:

3 weeks is a long time, around here once you get seeing a girl, you can expect to fuck her within a day or two, or even before you get seeing her, which is great.

fuck waiting for sex, thats a mugs game, whats the point?

^^^Pretty sweet power tool in the realm of tools of power!

Get your rocks off & be able to dis a girl for being a slut to boot.

Exthellent!

quote:Originally posted by southernsun:

3 weeks is a long time, around here once you get seeing a girl, you can expect to fuck her within a day or two, or even before you get seeing her, which is great.

fuck waiting for sex, thats a mugs game, whats the point?



For some, five minutes is a long time for sex too.

The point is sir, that she seems to want something more than sex. But having sex with some guy just because it's what he wants, or as an attempt to keep a guy around...is just foolish if that's not what a girl wants too.

The times are different for every person.

You like it slow. Most guys like it fast. Obviously. Though you take a risk, if you take it fast with a guy he will either dump you... Or he doesn't and just wanted you.

It's simple.

tell him to wait if he wants to be in a relationship WITH you.

3 weeks is fine. If it didn't happen after the 3rd date with me you'd be single again. 3 weeks is a long time.

quote:Originally posted by soro_one:

3 weeks is fine. If it didn't happen after the 3rd date with me you'd be single again. 3 weeks is a long time.

Oh...such weak men we raise these days.

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

[B]Do you just 'want it' (huh huh do yu do yu? huh huh?) Or do you want him in particular?

Does he want you or does he want to do you so he can move on to the next girl? Sometimes girls like to think if they give a guy 'everyt'ing' then they kinda own him?

Is it an actual do stuff together sometimes relationship or just sex? Don't you hang out at the mall or hockey rink or other people's houses or something?

No i don't really want it, but i wan't HIM. I'm not going to put out anytime soon because I know it wont make us any closer - only time can do that, and i'll just feel bad after. It is an actual relationship. We go on dates and we've never even had sex. So its not like that at all. Some of you make me sound like a prude that will never give it to him.. untrue, I just want it to be the right time, and i have no idea when that is.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Oh...such weak men we raise these days.

Well it's a different generation. Most likely a different crowd of people too. If I actually liked the girl in more then a couple ways I would wait for it. I've waited a few months for the right girl but it's not generally worth it when it's just a girl you want to sleep with.

whenever it happens it happens...it all depends on your comfort levels and his, some people like it fast, and if you like it slow just tell him that.

quote:Originally posted by Stephanie:

Originally posted by Narcoplectic:

You shouldn't be asking us if 3 weeks is too soon, ask yourself.I was asking you how fast things happened in relationships of your own, and how it turned out. Did you only read the title ?

Fucked her 3 years ago; talked to her again recently. We fucked the first night. Been fucking often since until it turned into making love. Then love has been made many times a week.

So...sexually, the relationship is really fast paced. Personally, the relationship is going at a moderate pace; neither of us are in it for the sex, but we certainly do enjoy lots of it. I love my girl!