So I really like this girl. We have deep conversations for hours at a time, and we somewhat get each other. We've had a love/hate relationship for the last 4 years, much like Ross and Rachael (I hate friends too). Anyway, it looks like we might have a chance sometime soon, but there's a big problem. She's waiting till marriage to have sex. Now I value her for that, but there's a problem. I can go years with being single and not having sex...but if I'm in a long term monogamous relationship, I expect some loving dammit. I'm not trying to sound like an ass, but I don't want to get into anything without thinking it over. Her last relationship was 8 months and there was no sex of any sort from what I gathered. I'm trying to be supportive, but this is just too much of a cock tease.

I'm thinking of just skipping over this, it's not really worth my efforts, it would drive me mad, and we're probably better of being friends anyway. Right?

Believe it or not; not everything revolves around sex? (hehe, probably bad thing to say); but honestly I figure sex isnt' really that important, its the affection and chemistry between you two that is the main thing. If you really believe that you two are meant to be together, i suggest starting a relationship and starting things at her level and I guess build up a little.

But, if having sex is really that important to you, I suggest finding yourself another person? But from a relationship perspective I wouldn't base this relationship around sex at all, more so basing it on love and affection between eachother; who knows, she might change her mind.

*shrugs*

IF you love her like you say you do, just deal with the no sex. Would she do foreplay with you? If there is NO sexual contact or anything like that, then i understand what you're saying. But if you are getting something out of it just wait a little. She wont hold it until marriage unless shes a psycho-bitch christian or a mormon.

First off, I don't love her. I like her, but I don't know her "in that way" to be able to say that I love her. Secondly, I'm not being a prick about this. I feel that two people in a long term monogamous relationship should be having sex.

I'm not being a bitch about this. Sex isn't the end of the world, and if I was single and not getting any I'd be fine with that. But if I was in a relationship, I don't see why I shouldn't.

She's catholic (I know you're thinking OMG WHORE) but I don't think she does it for religious reasons so much as for herself. I do like her, and would like to get to know her better, but I'm not going to go 10 years till we get married without having sex, even thought I'd enjoy her company for 10 years.

Again, don't say I'm a bitch. I just think abstinence is bullshit. I don't mind waiting in a relationship, a couple of months let's say, but to wait till I'm married is just fucking ridiculous.

Talk with her about it. Express yourself in a caring and committed way.

Listen to what she has to say, don't interupt.

Best wishes.

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Talk with her about it. Express yourself in a caring and committed way.

Listen to what she has to say, don't interupt.

Best wishes.

She's really timid on the subject. Really fucking timid. Maybe I'd be able to talk to her two months into the relationship, but then I'd either end up being the bad guy by breaking it off if she says no, or the asshole.

Either way, it seems like too much hassle for me. Does anyone actually suggest I go for it, and if so, how?

Go for what?

You aren't looking to rape her, right?

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Go for what?

You aren't looking to rape her, right?

No, but it seems like it'd be a waste of time for both of us. We'd just end up more hurt if we went out for half a year and then I ended it because I needed some luvin'.

I suggest skipping this one, you want something from her that she isn't willing to give up. Keep her close as a friend, that way, you won't have to feel guilty about sleeping with other girls, and you still get to enjoy her company.

Move on, find a relationship that is Love/love like... chandler and monica (i hate friends too...) but if its not good for you, its not good for her.