When you were this close *holds fingers VERY close together* to something hilariously embarassing or bad happening during sex or masturbating.

I'll start:

About 2 years ago I was living in res in university, and had my own room. Being alone alot, plus having my own laptop (leased from the school), plus not having a girlfriend at the time meant there was a LOT of masturbation going on. I had a sort of routine where I'd spend a good 30 minutes or so getting going and in the last few moments, stand up to make the catching of the goo easier. I generally had a sort of "landing pad" of kleenex for it to just go onto, which I would hold up.

Now, this one time, for some unknown reason, I simply didnt stand at the end. Dont really know why, but I just felt like I shouldnt. That time, I happened to come particularly hard, entirely overshooting the waiting kleenex, and under the desk in front of me.

If I had been standing, like I always did before, it would have landed all over the laptop, and gotten into the key, etc...it would have been a ridiculous mess. Imagine taking that to tech support to get it repaired...

Anyways, I sighed a huge sigh of relief, being amazed at my random luck, when I noticed I had covered my new, week-old shoes. Dammit.

Me and my girl were going at it in her room. Her room is right at the top of the stairs, and we had the door closed. So as we're getting into it we hear the front door slam, accompanied by a very vocal 'That door better not be closed'. So I jumped off her, scrambled to the computer chair where I had left my pants and ended up crashing into the wall with a loud thud. That was about 5 seconds after her mom called up.

And just for the record, I was 21 and she was 17.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Me and my girl were going at it in her room. Her room is right at the top of the stairs, and we had the door closed. So as we're getting into it we hear the front door slam, accompanied by a very vocal 'That door better not be closed'. So I jumped off her, scrambled to the computer chair where I had left my pants and ended up crashing into the wall with a loud thud. That was about 5 seconds after her mom called up.

And just for the record, I was 21 and she was 17.

Lol I can picture that.

K.

One night I was jacking away in my closet with the door shut (no lock on my bedroom door) and my mom walks in. She said "He's probly whacking it in there" how she knew I still don't know. But then I put on some shorts and shirt ran out and said "What the fuck I'm sorting through my closet, trying to tidy it up" Then we both walked off awkwardly.

Then last night, I was jacking it in my room and my brother walked in to hand me the phone, and it was my friend, so I kept jacking it while talking to him givin him the occasional "Oh really? Yeah? Kool." lmao. Then I said " Wow time for a shower" He goes I thought you just did and I said "No I just got done whacking it." Then he said "God damnit I'm trying to fucking eat pizza now you ruined it!" And I happily took my shower

TRUE STORIES BTW

Yeah I don't have a door, just a sheet covering the entrance to my room. I don't even have to elaborate further then that....

Once I was wacking it and the very moment I'm letting loose, my brother slams open my door...

Could of been worse, like grandparents or something..

we were going at it in his recliner when he was getting over a broken femur, and we heard his mom come in the upstairs door and call "hellooo" down the stairs. he couldn't get his pants on fast enough because with a broken leg everything is tedious, so we're running around trying to find our clothes and get dressed and we hear her coming downstairs so we just dashed/hobbled into a closet with our pants and undies lying in a heap on the floor. we heard the door open and then silence. so he goes "uhh...mom? you need to leave. NOW."

she just sighed and closed the door and for the rest of the night we ate dinner together in a very civil manner and pretended it never happened.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

we were going at it in his recliner when he was getting over a broken femur, and we heard his mom come in the upstairs door and call "hellooo" down the stairs. he couldn't get his pants on fast enough because with a broken leg everything is tedious, so we're running around trying to find our clothes and get dressed and we hear her coming downstairs so we just dashed/hobbled into a closet with our pants and undies lying in a heap on the floor. we heard the door open and then silence. so he goes "uhh...mom? you need to leave. NOW."

she just sighed and closed the door and for the rest of the night we ate dinner together in a very civil manner and pretended it never happened.

I can see the same thing happening in my basement as it has a large recliner and a large open closet... Except my mom would stab me..

quote:Originally posted by senorfrog:

Yeah I don't have a door, just a sheet covering the entrance to my room. I don't even have to elaborate further then that....

Harsh.

Also, many times friends would come to the door to my room in res, and see if I wanted to go for dinner etc (pretty much a daily thing). Sometimes I wouldnt answer, as if I wasnt there. One time I did this, and I heard one of my friends go "hes probably just whacking it" and I was like "Yeah, come back in 10 mins...seriously guys" through the door.

Twice.

Today and yesterday.

Yesterday my mum walked in the room whilst I had BangBros and another porn site up (ideepthroat.com I think). That was mildly embarassing.

And today I couldnt be arsed to go to school, so I stayed at home, and, not expecting my mum to be home for a while, I downloaded a few movies from BangBros, and had them fairly loud, and I didnt realise my mum came home, and she walked up the stares, to find me watching porn.

Im getting careless

This isn't a close call... well it is on some levels. It's a close call in that I didn't get my ass beaten by her dad. I think this is one of the weirdest stories that I've got. One time when I was pretty young, my girlfriend and I were doing what we did best. She was on top of me on the couch facing away from the door. I could barely see around to the door because she was pretty much directly in front of me.

Anyway, for whatever brilliant reason, she decided to leave the door open a little bit. We were each about halfway undressed when I saw some movement behind her by the door. I guess my girlfriend didn't see my reaction, because she continued doing what she was doing (which would have been a lot more pleasant if her mom wasn't standing in the doorway). So once I saw her mom standing there, I noticed that she was smiling. Once her mother stopped staring, she gives me thumbs up and shuts the door the rest of the way.

The funniest part was that my girlfriend did not notice ANY of this until the door shut. Needless to say, she jumped clear off me and the couch when I explained to her who shut the door.

My girlfriend later told me that her mom had a crush on me (not in a very sexual way - she was obviously devoted to her family and husband). I guess that's why she let it slide :P

Well this isn't very close but once i walked in on my older brother getting a blowjob from his gf in his bedroom. And another time i came downstairs to see it happening again on the couch...that was when i was 12...

I was downloading porn when my mom called me. I went upstairs and while talking to her the porn started, and I left the speakers on WAY too loud. I immediatelly went to the door, opened it and then realised I had already taken off my pants. So I was standing in my door, while people on the street could see me, or I could get back inside where my mom would hear it. So yea, I think she noticed, but she didnt say anything.

quote:Originally posted by whativeseen:

I was downloading porn when my mom called me. I went upstairs and while talking to her the porn started, and I left the speakers on WAY too loud. I immediatelly went to the door, opened it and then realised I had already taken off my pants. So I was standing in my door, while people on the street could see me, or I could get back inside where my mom would hear it. So yea, I think she noticed, but she didnt say anything.

Haha, public humiliation or family humiliation. Nice dilema.

Also, Good one Zok. I think I would have been thoroughly freaked out if my gf's mom reacted that way. I mean, just turning around and closing the door is fine, but thumbs-upping the guy who is about do bang your daughter? CREEeeepy.

One time on a midnight shift I was about to bang my "friend" in the back of the police cruiser. I had parked behind the middle school so all well right? No, after a bit of head we were making out, naked, when all of a sudden I hear and engine gunning and headlights wash over the cruiser. Apparently some idiot had come to do doughnuts in the muddy rear lawn of the school in his pickup. I guess when his truck spun around his lights hit on the cruiser cause he then promptly took off. My friend she ducked down naked in the backseat and I jump out frantically pulling up my pants and trying to get my gunbelt back on. So anyways I don't think they really saw anything because I never got in trouble for it, but a very close call when your both naked in the secure backseat of a police car. After that we went and finished the deed inside the street department.

Well.. this one time..

gf slept over, we slept on the fold-out couch (it's a new one, not so ghetto, and a decent matress), sex 10pm-4am, wake up at 8, have morning sex. Partway through, mom manages to get downstairs (creaky stairs) without is noticing, and starts to walk into the room we're in. On the plus side, there's a blanket over us, so we just freeze/pretend to sleep while she walks in/opens curtains on the door, and walks out of the room. About 30 seconds of pretending to sleep, while still inside her/more or less floating in juices (she always got very, very wet). As a bit of a joke I semi-slowly thrusted (look like i was just shifting a bit while sleeping) and she (gf) jumped a bit and inhaled sharply. Got a bit of flack over it later fromg the gf but it's all in good fun. Continued when mom left the room, hilarious afterwards, though. :\

[This message has been edited by Orange_Crusader (edited 11-23-2006).]

Been kinda caught twice.

Once by my dad who wanted to nick my computer for something and i had left Windows media player open. Well my dad being curious decided to open it when i reading on my bed to open it up with a playlist of porn. He just minimised it again an we said nothing of it.

Second time when my housemate (who ive known for 8 years coz we went ot the same upper school, so shes known me since i was 13) wanted to use my computer and she was typing in the web address when the porn site history came up underneath, and unfortunately i didnt manage to regain control of the computer in time to conceal it. because of the all 4 of my female housemates know at least 2 of the porn sites i visit

quote:Originally posted by Shodan's Own:

Harsh.



Haha its not too bad, I am 19 and live in my basement. There is also a HUGE sign on my door saying knock first or you will see me naked. That and I have kind've another room within my room that has a door and another bed...

My sister almost caught me and my boyfriend the other day. But we got under the covers in time, lol.

I’ve been caught by a lot of people. First time was on top of a school roof, some kids decided to go up there the same night we were getting busy and harassed us. Luckily we were still mostly dressed, so we just left rather quickly.

Another time was in a car. We were having sex and a police officer pulls up and starts tapping on the window. We were scared shitless. As we started to get dressed, he was STILL looking inside of the car; he was totally looking at my girl’s tits. Anyway, he just let us off since we were 18.

A third time was by a friend, who just randomly decided to walk into my room while the door was closed, but we were under the covers, so it wasn’t that bad.

As for close calls, only a few when my sister got home and we only had a split second to get dressed, but that happens to just about everyone.

quote:Originally posted by SkaterRaider:

[B]Another time was in a car. We were having sex and a police officer pulls up and starts tapping on the window. We were scared shitless. As we started to get dressed, he was STILL looking inside of the car; he was totally looking at my girl’s tits. Anyway, he just let us off since we were 18. /B]

Maybe that was just me and you guys were just in my spot!