Whenever my husband ands I have sex, he has to switch positions a lot or he'll come in like 5 minutes. He tries really hard to hold back in other ways, but he just gets so excited and he has to just totally stop moving, or change position. What sucks about this is I can never orgasm from intercourse because everytime we stop and switch around I lose all of my buildup! We've compromised by having me...do it to myself while he's inside me, but I want HIM to make me come. It's happened twice before and the orgasms I had were VERY strong.

So what the hell can he do or I do to help him cool off and not lose control so fast?

Does the same happen even when you're on top doing the work?

Well sex is a lot to do with the mind as well as the body, and I'm sure there are some things he can do to psyche himself up..

i'm sooo glad someone brought this up! i've always had the same problem. guys always want to switch positions so quickly and it's sooo annoying.

quote:Originally posted by Flock:

Does the same happen even when you're on top doing the work?

Well sex is a lot to do with the mind as well as the body, and I'm sure there are some things he can do to psyche himself up..

Yeah, He'll have to keep asking me to stop moving and then I'll have to hold perfectly still.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm sooo glad someone brought this up! i've always had the same problem. guys always want to switch positions so quickly and it's sooo annoying.

Do you know what is annoying? Having women think that it is easy for men to stay hard for a fucking hour.

I'm sorry, but look at any animal in the wild, how long do they have sex? 13 seconds? 1 minute?

And you are expecting us to lay here and fuck you for 30 minutes in one position because you can't cum?

Give me a break, show the man some respect. I am sure he is trying his best and he KNOWS that he is getting excited. I think he knows better than you know, and if he needs to switch positions let him.

And if you don't let him and he cums in 5 minutes, well just wait for him to get hard again.

Or you can do some exercises to help you recognize when you are about to cum and how to push your breaking point farther and farther. Either or.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Do you know what is annoying? Having women think that it is easy for men to stay hard for a fucking hour.

I'm sorry, but look at any animal in the wild, how long do they have sex? 13 seconds? 1 minute?

And you are expecting us to lay here and fuck you for 30 minutes in one position because you can't cum?



yeah, um, i never said any of that.

I has that problem with my girlie. I'm bestowed with a penis that doesn't need to cool down between Os...but she's not on birth control yet so I can't just come in her and keep hammering away. I think that will solve the problem, but I'm not sure. I hope it does...I wants to hear her scream my name!

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Do you know what is annoying? Having women think that it is easy for men to stay hard for a fucking hour.

I'm sorry, but look at any animal in the wild, how long do they have sex? 13 seconds? 1 minute?

And you are expecting us to lay here and fuck you for 30 minutes in one position because you can't cum?

Give me a break, show the man some respect. I am sure he is trying his best and he KNOWS that he is getting excited. I think he knows better than you know, and if he needs to switch positions let him.

And if you don't let him and he cums in 5 minutes, well just wait for him to get hard again.

Or you can do some exercises to help you recognize when you are about to cum and how to push your breaking point farther and farther. Either or.

hear hear brother

I'd suggest deep breathing and relaxation.

You've taken yoga, teach him some deep breathing exercizes to help him learn how to control his body.

Well...it works for me.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Do you know what is annoying? Having women think that it is easy for men to stay hard for a fucking hour.

I'm sorry, but look at any animal in the wild, how long do they have sex? 13 seconds? 1 minute?

And you are expecting us to lay here and fuck you for 30 minutes in one position because you can't cum?

Give me a break, show the man some respect. I am sure he is trying his best and he KNOWS that he is getting excited. I think he knows better than you know, and if he needs to switch positions let him.

And if you don't let him and he cums in 5 minutes, well just wait for him to get hard again.

Or you can do some exercises to help you recognize when you are about to cum and how to push your breaking point farther and farther. Either or.

I don't expect him to go for 30 minutes. I'd probably be happy with ten! And I KNOW he's trying his best, which is why I would never get down on him for it or anything. I love my husband...I just want our sex life to be as good as possible! I mean he's the only person I will have sex with for like the next 50 years or so!:P

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

Whenever my husband ands I have sex, he has to switch positions a lot or he'll come in like 5 minutes. He tries really hard to hold back in other ways, but he just gets so excited and he has to just totally stop moving, or change position. What sucks about this is I can never orgasm from intercourse because everytime we stop and switch around I lose all of my buildup! We've compromised by having me...do it to myself while he's inside me, but I want HIM to make me come. It's happened twice before and the orgasms I had were VERY strong.

So what the hell can he do or I do to help him cool off and not lose control so fast?

If you can't see the obvious solution to the problem then you don't deserve sex.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

We've compromised by having me...do it to myself while he's inside me, but I want HIM to make me come.

Also, work on that compromise too. Right before reaching that "point of no return", stop touching yourself and let him carry you the rest of the way.

Well....that works for me too.

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

If you can't see the obvious solution to the problem then you don't deserve sex.

*confused* Say what?

LOL. Wrong thread.

The obvious solution is to make him come once before sex and then he won't be going out with a loaded gun and a hair trigger, fool.



[This message has been edited by deathtojack (edited 11-21-2006).]

I don't get it either. *shrugs*

Tell him to quit being a bitch and fuck you good. I mean yea it sucks sometimes but he can deal with it half the time and other half get his great orgasm. I know when I used to fuck sometimes id cum really soon and id SLOW DOWN and sometimes id have to pretty much stop my body from moving but she kept going, and then after 5-10 seconds id be able to keep going because the intense pleasure would return to normal pleasure. The only reason ive ever had to stop or change positions really is if I get a cramp and even then if I get a cramp in my leg ill let her keep grinding me and ill either just use the one good uncramped leg or ill use my hands to help move her body. I mean maybe im just good because I can keep it hard enough and fuck for 20-30 minutes if need be even after ive cum once. Just tell him to suck it up 5 miniutes is fucking nothing.

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

The obvious solution is to make him come once before sex and then he won't be going out with a loaded gun and a hair trigger, fool.

Sounds like a good idea!

You know you have to talk to him about this, right?

I know it's going to suck, and he may bitch and be hurt, but, like you said, you guys are in it for the long haul and communication skills entail uncomfortable conversations.

May I suggest extended foreplay, a great deal of love-making should take place before penetration, and the vigorous quest for orgasm shouldn't envelop the entirety of the process. If the buildup of sensuality is enough you should both be cumming in a matter of minutes; also, if the gentle symphony of sensuous touch is meticulously executed the love-making can last a long time, and be deeply connected, with the pursuit of orgasm being all but forgotten.

Outside of that there are physical ways to get what you are after. The getting-him-off-before-sex approach....works, but it's somewhat difficult in that the penis can be VERY sensitive following an orgams. Sometimes it's not just the expenditure of drive in orgasm that ends sex after ejaculation; sometimes it just plain fucking hurts.

There are also cock-rings that are supposed to work wonders.

But might I suggest tying him up? Or, much more likely since he seems to be in much desire of control, allowing him to tie you up?

Perhaps the inability to switch positions...much..will motivate him, and inspire him to make every minute count.

Changing positions and slowing down/stopping is an attempt to make things last longer, so basically telling him that he's not performing as well as you would like is going to put unnecessary mental strain on top of everything...

I guess you could make him a lolly stick and duct tape cock splint.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm sooo glad someone brought this up! i've always had the same problem. guys always want to switch positions so quickly and it's sooo annoying.

And I despise girls that just lye there.

When I meet a girl like that I can fuck her for HOURS on end because she just isn't turning me on enough. I hate whens girls just don't do anything. You have to get into..

But to the OP, can't help ya. Never had the problem never met anyone in real life with that problem.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

[b] Do you know what is annoying? Having women think that it is easy for men to stay hard for a fucking hour.



Women do, and it borders on down syndrome.

quote:

And you are expecting us to lay here and fuck you for 30 minutes in one position because you can't cum?



They are... :P

quote:

Give me a break, show the man some respect. I am sure he is trying his best and he KNOWS that he is getting excited. I think he knows better than you know, and if he needs to switch positions let him.



Amen.



[This message has been edited by RogueWarheart (edited 11-21-2006).]

You can either talk to him, or vent about it on totse.

It's something he has to work at managing. You can help by being supportive, but he has to want to do it.

Heh, men cum on time... It's just that women are always far too late!

Ok, ok, enough of that... Not going to turn it into that kinda topic...

The best thing you could do would be to get him off before hand, but keep him interested. Otherwise, there really isn't anything you can do.

Looks like you got married to soon.

If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it?

Hey you want to join a religious cult and make everything right with your god/godesses, but why the fuck do you want the government involved.

Tell him to fucking exercise his PC muscle or whatever the fuck its called.

I get... annoyed, I guess is a good word, after about 10-15 minutes of sex. The sooner he's done, the better.

Ok Xiao Mei, here's what you do. That other person's suggestion about 'extended foreplay'? Bullshit. The real solution is simple. Instead of changing positions, just let him cum the first time. After that, he needs to eat you out (or finger you, or whatever else you would like) until he gets hard again. By then, you should have your 'buildup' and he can take you to orgasm with more sex. And if you somehow don't get off the second time, just keep repeating the cycle until either:

A) You get off, or

B) He collapses

Xiao, you could try this. Have him fuck youuntil he reaches that point just before he has to come (he'll know what i mean by that). At that point he needs to stop and lie either totally still in you or withdraw and use his tongue/fingers/toes whatever.

Actually its kinda nice just to lie still and kiss for a few minutes..nice 'connected feeling'.

Give it a few minutes and then start again.Each time bringing him just to that point and then have him 'cool off'. After a couple of 'coolings off' he'll probably find that his penis has desensitised a bit and he can then go for a much longer time .

It's probably been said, but just let him blow his first load whenever he wants, and then he'll last alot longer the second time...

Xiao Mei, I last ages, you should probably have sex with me. I'm not hung like a Rhinocerous though.

I'm unlike other guys. I only come once, and I generally last a while. I don't mind stopping and starting without coming though if the girls gets sore or whatever.

Work yourself up and then let him pummel you?

quote:Originally posted by deathtojack:

The obvious solution is to make him come once before sex and then he won't be going out with a loaded gun and a hair trigger, fool.

If I remember right, they recommended some numbing cream in other lasting longer threads, could look into that

5 minutes, hah. His 10 foot or whatever cock isn't doing him much good with that performance

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

yeah, um, i never said any of that.

Let me guess, you aren't a genius?

Where the fuck in my post did I ever comment that you said that? No where?

You said what was annoying, so I rebuttled with what is annoying to men. The almost impossible fucking demands of women.

Get over your fucking selves and I am sure men would be a lot quicker to try and please you.

Thats strange...I'm not exactly a god in the bedroom, but I can go for a fairly decent amount of time. But when I'm close, changing positions doesnt help. I just usually stop what i'm doing for a moment to regain my stamina, or else just continue going with just the tip.

So say you are changing positions from missionary to doggy style, that means you have to pull out, and once I pull out and stop fucking I immediately start to calm down.

This could just be me though.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

So say you are changing positions from missionary to doggy style, that means you have to pull out, and once I pull out and stop fucking I immediately start to calm down.

This could just be me though.



Yeah, I guess thats the premise. But then it would be just as effective for the girl to slide off for a minute and give the guy a chance to recuperate. No need to change positions.

Are Condoms completely out of the question? I mean he could wear one of those climax control jobs, they make me go for WAY too long, I mean I wear out girls (I am in pretty good shape) far before I come close to coming with one of those on. If you really like him cumming in you he could wear it for a while, let it runs its course so to speak, and then take it off and you could both finish.

Oh and is his inability to "hold back" on the first time? If not try going twice in a row if hes able (I don't know his age or whatever and some guys just cant)

Good luck.

I hate changing positions during sex, unless I'm in an uncomfortable position.

One position for too long is boring.

Sorry my post wasn't more useful.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:



Yeah, I guess thats the premise. But then it would be just as effective for the girl to slide off for a minute and give the guy a chance to recuperate. No need to change positions.

Or just change the pace...

I like to change positions in sex, but not to prolong orgasm, to keep things interesting. Always do a few different positions everytime I have sex.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Xiao, you could try this. Have him fuck youuntil he reaches that point just before he has to come (he'll know what i mean by that). At that point he needs to stop and lie either totally still in you or withdraw and use his tongue/fingers/toes whatever.

Actually its kinda nice just to lie still and kiss for a few minutes..nice 'connected feeling'.

Give it a few minutes and then start again.Each time bringing him just to that point and then have him 'cool off'. After a couple of 'coolings off' he'll probably find that his penis has desensitised a bit and he can then go for a much longer time .

I'll suggest that to him...Watch, he'll get desensitised and then I'll be all like, "So are you gonna come, or WHAT??":P

And he doesn't actually come in 5 minutes unless we don't stop and change position. I think maybe he just has a really sensitive penis or something. I wish it was so easy for me to come that fast.

Is he good at varying his speed? Slower & faster & back again? Sometimes I find that doing speed 'X' with occaisonal 'double/triple' strokes & then back to 'X'. Can help control the 'buildup'.

And what of Tantra/Kama Sutra etc?

There was an Asian technique described in a novel I read where the guy reaches back & presses a finger into his ureatha through his perineum? It wasn't named so I don't really know how real it is...?

Just as he's about to come & he keeps stroking well he does it? Being a novel he continued for another couple of hours!? Then had the strongest O evah!

There is also the deal where in the Miss-posiss the guy does not enter but leans on one arm while using a hand to rub his Manly Unit on & around the Goal?

Though different than full P-i-V it might be interesting to try at least.

I'd say give you oral or finger before, and him finger you while he's changing positions.

I dunno. Sometimes that does happen- when the position is one that it particularly stimulating. Him blowing his load beforehand is not a guarantee of anything but that he'll go slightly longer. Guy's bodies are wierd too, and sometimes they're just extra-sensitive. But tell him just to focus on his breathing and try to keep the focus off of contracting those muscles, whatever they are...those muscles that contract when he ejaculates. If he keep his mind off that, he should be able to go longer.

CaspeR

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:



Yeah, I guess thats the premise. But then it would be just as effective for the girl to slide off for a minute and give the guy a chance to recuperate. No need to change positions.

Yea, but for the girl to slide off, you have no just lost all the build-up you were going for, and in my experience that isn't a good thing.

Also, why would you change the pace? If a girl is getting off on a slow speed, why speed up? If she is getting off on a fast speed why slow down? Usually to maintain the rhythm is how to get a girl to cum, breaking the rhythm is a no-no.

Xiao,

Switching positions during sex is almost essential to a man if he wants to prolong his session as long as he can.

My only suggestion to you is some added stimulation whether it be rubbing your clitoris or using a buttplug or a vibrator, anything that helps you get off.

It's a known fact men orgasm way before women, and it's also a lot harder / requires extra stimulation for a woman to orgasm.

Then again foreplay can be a big issue here, make sure you're "wet" or aroused before having intercourse or else it loses it's "OOMF" if you know what I mean.

OH YEAH I forgot to say that if you let him pile-drive you before and get you nice and wet, it helps him in that you aren't so tight afterwards, and so there's less sensation. That, and you are far more sensitive, so he has to do less work for it to feel good for you.

CaspeR