Ok this will prolly sound very odd to a lot of people...but here goes...

I'm into the classic cars hobbie and recently I've met up with a 14 year old guy (Mark) who's also into the classic cars, but with veryl ittle mechanical experience. For near enough a month now I've been staying at his house for the weekends fixing, tuning and tweaking said cars, and in that time we've grown to like each other an awfull lot.

It really kicked off at a fireworks party earlier on this month. After many people had gone back into the house to keep warm, me and Mark stayed by the fire talking about life, friends, school etc...it imediately clicked with both of us not only how similar we were in terms of history, social standing and activity but how we could actually openly discuss these things with each other.

Since then, with the various tuning and fixing sessions I've become very attached to Mark and I'm sure he has to me as wel...in my view I feel like a companion who worries and cares about him - I know he gets bullied at school and doesnt have much of a stand in regards to social events. I know he finds it difficult to talk about some of these things, but I know hes at least opening up to me, where he would normally just be quiet and let the bad memories simmer - which from what I remember is never very good.

I wanted to ask totse for an opinion on this "relationship" - the more softer side of that term. I am 20 years old and by any account there is a huge age gap between us...still I feel as if I've known him for years.

Thanks people.

*shrugs*

One of my best-friends is a forty something guy.

I am in no position to judge you.

heh no worries...just looking for either advice or a guide line perhaps.

Its comforting that at least age gaps in close friendships don't necessarily matter

Well it would seem that maybe he considers you perhaps something of an older sister - does he have no siblings? I think that friendships like yours are rare in this day and age. You could do the kid some good!

quote:Originally posted by Twiggy:

Well it would seem that maybe he considers you perhaps something of an older sister - does he have no siblings? I think that friendships like yours are rare in this day and age. You could do the kid some good!

LOL ...I am a bloke...I hope I made that clear long before this post!

That said, and if your opinion doesnt change due to my sudden dramatic gender bending, thanks - I know what you mean by friendships being literally a social point raather than the inner-heart feelings of caring and trust that just dont happen anymore.

He does have siblings, a twin brother and an older sister, but he finds it difficult to talk to them - I have to side with him as they are on a different cloud level so to speak...even though he does have a twin brother - you wouldn't think they were. I guess thats why he off loaded to me at the party...explained all...got it out of his system.

I think it's fairly simple. He sees you as a big brother, probably because he never had a good male role model in his life. You see him as an interesting friend, and you get a good feeling knowing he confides in you.

Really, what's the problem. Homosexuality is more based on genetics than enviroment, so I doubt you'll become gay by hanging out. I think it's a mutually beneficial "big brother" relationship.

quote:Originally posted by neville122333:

LOL ...I am a bloke...I hope I made that clear long before this post!

That said, and if your opinion doesnt change due to my sudden dramatic gender bending, thanks - I know what you mean by friendships being literally a social point raather than the inner-heart feelings of caring and trust that just dont happen anymore.

He does have siblings, a twin brother and an older sister, but he finds it difficult to talk to them - I have to side with him as they are on a different cloud level so to speak...even though he does have a twin brother - you wouldn't think they were. I guess thats why he off loaded to me at the party...explained all...got it out of his system.



HAHA ahh man i'm so sorry, I just really don't pay attention sometimes!!!! Change the sister bit to brother and the point still stands.

quote:Originally posted by Rykoshet:

I think it's fairly simple. He sees you as a big brother, probably because he never had a good male role model in his life. You see him as an interesting friend, and you get a good feeling knowing he confides in you.

Really, what's the problem. Homosexuality is more based on genetics than enviroment, so I doubt you'll become gay by hanging out. I think it's a mutually beneficial "big brother" relationship.

Thanks...honestly thats made me see it in a better light, and I really appreciate what you folks have said

It all seems fine to me... more than fine, it's great to have close friends. I can imagine a few people might have a problem with it, but people tend to overreact to things like this and see the worst possible scenario; 20-year-old guy likes 14-year-old boy? ZOMG PEDOFILE. As long as nobody who matters has any serious misgivings (basically, the kid's parents), by all means carry on. I think it's nice; you've given the kid somebody to look up to, and found a good friend.

If it looks suspicious just go out on the pull with him and get him hooked up with 20 year old girls and the legends will have people forget any rumours.

ahh...pedastery....i love it.

quote:Originally posted by neville122333:

Ok this will prolly sound very odd to a lot of people...but here goes...

I'm into the classic cars hobbie and recently I've met up with a 14 year old guy (Mark) who's also into the classic cars, but with veryl ittle mechanical experience. For near enough a month now I've been staying at his house for the weekends fixing, tuning and tweaking said cars, and in that time we've grown to like each other an awfull lot.

It really kicked off at a fireworks party earlier on this month. After many people had gone back into the house to keep warm, me and Mark stayed by the fire talking about life, friends, school etc...it imediately clicked with both of us not only how similar we were in terms of history, social standing and activity but how we could actually openly discuss these things with each other.

Since then, with the various tuning and fixing sessions I've become very attached to Mark and I'm sure he has to me as wel...in my view I feel like a companion who worries and cares about him - I know he gets bullied at school and doesnt have much of a stand in regards to social events. I know he finds it difficult to talk about some of these things, but I know hes at least opening up to me, where he would normally just be quiet and let the bad memories simmer - which from what I remember is never very good.

I wanted to ask totse for an opinion on this "relationship" - the more softer side of that term. I am 20 years old and by any account there is a huge age gap between us...still I feel as if I've known him for years.

Thanks people.

You are a chick?

ok, so no one has asked this yet, and i felt it to be a necessary clarification.

DO you feel anything romantic, sexual, etc. towards him?

what the above poster said.

Having a good role model to look up to will probably do the kid some good, what he DOESNT need is a sugar daddy.

I dont know if there was any intention of that or not, but im just assuming now for the time being and saying, "Go for it, the kid can use some confidence, and having somebody for him to imitate and use as a role mode isnt a bad thing."

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

Having a good role model to look up to will probably do the kid some good, what he DOESNT need is a sugar daddy.

I dont know if there was any intention of that or not, but im just assuming now for the time being and saying, "Go for it, the kid can use some confidence, and having somebody for him to imitate and use as a role mode isnt a bad thing."

Agreed, getting involved would seriously screw his mind up. It would haunt both of you. Do some good and be a role model.

[This message has been edited by Omikcron (edited 11-20-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

ok, so no one has asked this yet, and i felt it to be a necessary clarification.

DO you feel anything romantic, sexual, etc. towards him?

Nono thats fine...

No I don't feel so much anything sexual or romantic towards him but I do care about him. If anything goes I wanna help the guy into seeing himself in a better light. It's a bit odd tho because we have so much in common... to be honest I couldnt place anything like...sexual on it. Nothing of that sort of thing has happened.

But yeah thanks for the input definitely valid thought

..and no I am not a chick ans was explained further up the thread.

I say you rough up a few of the kids that pick on him.

quote:Originally posted by Ali G in da house:

I say you rough up a few of the kids that pick on him.

Its crossed my mind more than once.

The thing is its not just like picking on as in calling names. Hes got 3 scars/coldburns on 1 arm where a group of twats held him down and let loose with deoderant sprays at point blank range...amongst other things. THing is he does nothing to provoke being attacked except for being clever. He get high scores across the board most of the time...and people just take to jelousy because of it.

I dunno whether beating up the twats is any good for either of us tho. For one I'm an outsider to his school - so worst case scenario is they report me and ban me form the school. My friend on the other hand gets the retalitaion from me beating them up... which is usually worse.

I've had visions of me turning up to pick him up from school to find him lying at the bottom of a vicious beat down.

[This message has been edited by neville122333 (edited 11-21-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by neville122333:

Its crossed my mind more than once.

The thing is its not just like picking on as in calling names. Hes got 3 scars/coldburns on 1 arm where a group of twats held him down and let loose with deoderant sprays at point blank range...amongst other things. THing is he does nothing to provoke being attacked except for being clever. He get high scores across the board most of the time...and people just take to jelousy because of it.

I dunno whether beating up the twats is any good for either of us tho. For one I'm an outsider to his school - so worst case scenario is they report me and ban me form the school. My friend on the other hand gets the retalitaion from me beating them up... which is usually worse.

I've had visions of me turning up to pick him up from school to find him lying at the bottom of a vicious beat down.





yeah, don't do that. you'd get in trouble with the law for beating up 14 year olds, and he'd just get beat up more.

lol fags

^cluntoris^

Ya know I thught I might have just managed to slip the artarded teenager net this time, but obviously not. If you don't have anything worth 2c/p to say then dont say anything.

Thanks for all your input people

I wonder what he would say if heard you refer to him as a "Boy companion"

he has already...if I could give you the MSN conversation copy, I would if it wern't for the fact my computer is 30 miles away at present.

Ok granted "boy" makes him sound like 10 years old...but he is hardly "grown up" physically...mentally being rather a different matter.

Like I say, I came here (with pinch of salt as standard) to see if our friendship realy was that...peculiar.

Well, with his age in mind you still like him. So fuck the law.