I'm having a little problem. I'm turning into my father. I love my dad and he's a nice guy, but the way he can be is very obnoxious and cruel sometimes. I see this happening me and I need to stop it. A girl I'm very close with who wants to get serious with me says this is the only thing holding her back from getting closer. I can see why she feels this way because I've experienced this first hand. I'm assuming that I'm subconciously following my father's example of being a man. I need help to try and reverse this. I really want to be with this girl, and if I turn out to be the way he is later in life it won't be good for anyone I want to be close with. What do you guys suggest? I also on a somewhat related note need to stop cursing...

In what ways is he/are you cruel and obnoxious?

Just the general attitude. Myself for example, I can see myself kind of flipping on this girl for stuid things. Last night she went to change the station on my radio and I actualy yelled at her. In general I just tease her constantly. She has this one friend whose a guy who called a few times one night when I was with her, she ignored every call but for some reason I still ask if every person who calls her or every guy is always this same guy. I know theres ntohing going on with him because she's always with me anyway, I just don't understand why I am turning out this way. the obnoxious and cruel part is just being angry over stupid crap and holding grudges. This morning I was talking with the girl and she said I yelled at her friday night, and I did and I remembered I was being a particular dick that night, but I couldn't even remember why.

dont be so obsessive. just learn to relax and if your dad starts being that way around you just leave the room. ur becoming uptight and u need to go smoke a spliff

Make a concentrated effort to stop this behaviour. Ask her to point out when you're acting this way.

Beyond this difficult, but seemingly simple, task I can only recommend counseling.

murder/suicide?