So the Day of Doom is fast approaching and I'm starting to get a little worried. I think I just have some sort of mental block against doing it or something! I mean the idea of having sex like that fills me with shame and revulsion, but I'm willing to at least try it the one time for my husband's sake. The big problem I'm having, though is that the stuff he wants to do leading up to it ALSO fills me with shame and revulsion. Like last night he wanted to try putting a finger in there and I just couldn't do it! I pretended like I just wanted to do other stuff, but really, it made me want to vomit just thinking about it! And I feel like I can't talk to him about all of this because I don't want to burst his dream and dissappoint him.

Why the hell is he so obsessed with doing it that way in the first place?!

Probably because its tighter then your vagina?

Honestly i dont know because ive never done, and never really want to do anal. Its probably just a fetish of his.

I know exactly what you mean. Why are they so obsessed?

Because it's kinky and dominant

We want to go 'everyhwere else' (at least theoretically...) why not there too?

Just pretend you're a man getting a prostate exam...

I find that is one of the problems with planning things because it loses all the spontaneity and becomes more obligatory.

You could talk to him about it and how you are feeling about it right now...then...have that obligation taken away from you. So what if he's a little disapointed. He loves you. He'll get over it.

Spontaneity is the only way to go where these things are concerned, imo. But then, I don't like feeling obliged, nor for others to feel obliged either.

Talk about it. Ease your mind. Then see where it goes from there.

Well I planned it because he's renewing his commission and he's all sad about staying in the military, so I was trying to cheer him up. Also, the anticipation is kind of fun...For him at least.:P And it was fun for me...Until it all got more real, I guess. Well no matter what, I'm only committed to the one time and I suppose I can put up with it once. I figure he'll be so excited that he'll finish in under a minute. Here's hoping, right??

But? Other than repeat performances...it takes a while to get the old back door warmed up?

I'd recommend a good long walk beforehand? At least a couple of miles, with part of the distance at a more speedy pace. You want to be as warmed up as you can be. N'ce pa?

A nice long walk so my mind can twist and turn with anxiety over the event??:P

On a related note, I do go on a lot of walks...Especially now when the trees are so pretty. The ones who talk to me are...Not so mean out there and sometimes I can hear Dr. Knob, only I can tell him anything in the enchanted forest.

*sigh* I wish I could talk to Dr. Knob about the EAS, but I don't want him to know something that gross about me.

Just think of being in solidarity with the rest of the the female mammals? Don't you think the right door gets 'missed' a lot?

When they're too deep in 'heat'...do you think all of them can complain...?

Heh, men of all species are perverts I guess!:P

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I figure he'll be so excited that he'll finish in under a minute. Here's hoping, right??

Yeppers...if you're relaxed then you're probably right.

You have lots of time though. Don't worry about it.

You made a deal...Stick to it.

Or do what an ex of mine did when I got curious...

"I'll let you do mine if you let me do yours with my dildo first!"

Never wanted to do the A-hole since!

It's different, tighter in some girls, and a whole lot more degrading and dominating for you women.

Why else would we want to do it so much? But on the same note, though, there are a lot of women that actually really like it after they get used to it.

So, really, as the saying goes... "Don't knock it until you've tried it, otherwise you're a Christian!"

It sounds like your going to jump into this anal sex thing far too quickly, like one night , you'll just put his penis in your bum. I recommend against this.

You should really start warming yourself up now, so it doesn't hurt as much when you finally do it. You should finger your ass or get some small but plugs and work your way up. If you try to go directly from nothing in your ass to a big dick in your ass, you may very well tear your ass.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

...and a whole lot more degrading and dominating for you women.

Degrading how?

I really hate when people say that. Not everyone has that mindset.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Degrading how?

I really hate when people say that. Not everyone has that mindset.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

I mean the idea of having sex like that fills me with shame and revulsion[...]

If that doesn't make it out to sound like she'd feel degraded, then I'm a Mexican. Perhaps two Mexicans...

Now go mind your manners and actually READ the thread, and perhaps, understand that not everyone is EXACTLY LIKE YOU. But for the most part, they're a lot more like Xiao... Most women that I have known have seen it as a shameful and nasty act that would degrade them. It's a man taking your anus for his own pleasure, knowing that it won't give you much of anything back.

He's doing something that goes very much against the natural order of our bodies, and most girls are still brought up to think that things like that are wrong. But I guess that because it's the mindset of the majority, but not your own, it doesn't matter, right? Bugger off.

EDiT: Which is one of the wonderful reasons that I enjoy it as a change of pace from normal vaginal intercourse.

[This message has been edited by Gus (edited 11-16-2006).]

I did read the thread Gus, and that is exactly my point. It's all in how a person views things. If it's degrading in your eyes, and you don't want to be degraded...then don't do it. If it's degrading in your eyes and you desire that...then do it. If you don't see it as degrading...then it's not degrading and it becomes something entirely different. It is just not everyone's way of thinking.

There is always more than one way to approach things. Just because the majority might have that mindset, I will not support that by remaining silent, my dear Gus. People need to hear alternative viewpoints. Isn't that what discussion is for?

Oh...and btw...I have orgasmed every time when I've done anal, thanks in large part to my selection of partners.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-16-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

I did read the thread Gus, and that is exactly my point. It's all in how a person views things. If it's degrading in your eyes, and you don't want to be degraded...then don't do it. If it's degrading in your eyes and you desire that...then do it. If you don't see it as degrading...then it's not degrading and it becomes something entirely different. It is just not everyone's way of thinking.

So you pretty much said that everyone has a mind of their own, and should do what they want? Well, way to go there.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

There is always more than one way to approach things. Just because the majority might have that mindset, I will not support that by remaining silent, my dear Gus.

You don't need to support something to understand that it exists that way, and not pretend that everyone has a mind of their own.

Really now, you'd be a fool to think that every girl out there had a mind of her own that she used as often as she should.

People are pack animals, and will follow if they can help it. Why do you think religion has taken off to be such a "wonderful" thing in "modern" society?

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

People need to hear alternative viewpoints. Isn't that what discussion is for?

A discussion, though, is to defend and contrast viewpoints. Here though, we aren't constrasting anything. You're supporting what I said, and I've supported what you said.

So really, we're just flirting. Heh.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Oh...and btw...I have orgasmed every time when I've done anal, thanks in large part to my selection of partners.

Good for you. Did you want a cookie or something?

I've said it once, and I'll say it again:

IT FEELS LIKE A GIANT POO IS TRYING TO GET BACK IN.

I don't see how anyone could derive pleasure from such a feeling. On the way in, it hurts/is uncomfortable, and on the way out it feels like you're shitting yourself.

I know men get their prostate stimulated during anal sex, but is there any physical pleasure for women involved? Why do some women like it?

Xiao, I don't think it'll work if you're apprehensive though. I was completely relaxed the few times I tried, and it just didn't work.

i have to say, you're far braver than me, and for that i commend you. i know how you feel...i haven't actually promised my boyfriend the eas, but he's brought it up a few times and i'm--well, i suppose "apprehensive at best" would be the term, if not flat out "terrified." i mean if he really wanted to, i suppose i would do it. we always want to make them happy, hm? but i just flat out don't see how it could feel good for me. sure some girls claim to get off on it, but like sick_boy pointed out, we have nothing back there that could make it feel good for us.

if you're too apprehensive to do it (and feeling sick to your stomach about it isn't a good sign), you CAN call it off. he is, after all, your husband, and he'll stop sulking at some point. if you do want to go through with it despite that, i agree that it's probably a good idea to start warming yourself up for it. tell him how you feel...maybe just a little "you know, i want to make you happy, but the whole thing kind of freaks me out. could we maybe take it a little slower?" and if you're going to experiment with this, you should get ALL your favourite sexual favours ALL the time. fair's fair.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Good for you. Did you want a cookie or something?

Everyone does have a mind of their own, and if they choose to go along with the crowd then that's all well and good because that is the decision they chose to make.

Now, that would depend on what kind of cookie it is you're offering.

why are u calling it EAS? ? ?

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

It's a man taking your anus for his own pleasure, knowing that it won't give you much of anything back.



the same thing for going down on someone

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

why are u calling it EAS? ? ?

the same thing for going down on someone



A Xiao'ism "Evil Anal Sex". Our Xiao has had a bit of a sheltered life til she came here and was exposed to all this open, explict 'naughtiness'.

Or...that could become...

Exquisite Anal Sex...

You never know....

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

Now, that would depend on what kind of cookie it is you're offering.

Sounds to me like the "flirting" remark struck home... I think I'm gonna have to bake up a whole batch of "cookies" for you soon enough...

~~~

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

why are u calling it EAS? ? ?

Why aren't you typing of the first two letters of "you"?

quote:Originally posted by MrVitrol:

the same thing for going down on someone



Of course, which a lot of people find to be extremely pleasureable because they're making their partner feel awesome.

Oversexed, if you are fuck to much you are going to have to do grosser things. It's like marijuana, you start off with a couple of puffs, and before you know it you are leaving your fingernail on your pinkie long so that it;s easier to get the cocaine out of the bag.

I don't know what the big deal is. I don't get much enjoyment from anal stimulation (I'm a guy) but if a girl really really wanted to do me with a strapon or whatever, I would if it would really make her that happy...PROVIDED the strapon was of comparable size to my own member, otherwise it's not fair. No 12" dongs:O

well xiao. i'm going to try to get you to think of this in another way. here's an analogy. do you ever cook for your husband, clean his living space, do his laundry, or any other comparable task? other than the satisfaction you get from knowing it makes him happy, is there any benefit you can claim from these actions? aren't they a little tedious and sometimes annoying? but do you hesitate to do them, thinking that it is degrading to do something for someone if you get nothing in return?

in most other situations i would advise the girl against doing anal if she had the feelings you're having. however, you are in a loving marriage and there is no reason to think your husband is trying to con you, degrade you, or take advantage of you. it is perfectly okay to indulge him knowing full well you will not enjoy it, and may even detest it. you are giving him a gift by doing it, and you should view it as you would any other gift. there are costs to you, and benefits to him. is it worth it to you? that is for you to decide. but i wouldn't base the decision off of an irrational fear of being "degraded" by your own husband. the only thing i would worry about is that you would become resentful afterwards due to not communicating your feelings and acting passively. THAT could cause problems. if you think you will become resentful, that is a reason not to do it. however, he is your husband and it is okay to take risks emotionally, since he will be there for you afterwards. talk to him if you need to -- not to try to talk him out of it, but just to make him aware of your worries.

If you werent married, I would pay like $7,000 to be the one in your husbands place.

^^^

I got $7,000 here, do I hear $7,500....?

I'm all for the guys being somewhat dominant.

But this doesn't go beyond hair pulling (mmmmm), biting, maybe, perhaps, SOME ass-slapping, and a little bit of dirty talk (but too much makes me giggle, it just sounds so stupid).

I'm not one of those "yay women's rights!!" people. But for some reason, the thought of anal just makes me feel like it'd be degrading... not because I'm a female, or because it's not natural... it's because I'd feel like I'm being completely used by somebody. I at least get a little kick out of going down on a guy, I don't mind doing that for their pleasure, because it at least turns me on a little bit.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

If you werent married, I would pay like $7,000 to be the one in your husbands place.

Or you could just spend that money gettng 70 ho's to bend over and let you fuck them in the ass for about 30 seconds each.

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:

Or you could just spend that money gettng 70 ho's to bend over and let you fuck them in the ass for about 30 seconds each.

lollll

Xiao is going to have an interesting experience and I cannot wait for the final chapter of this internet drama!!1

I'm going to place my bet on her having the penis enter about an inch or less and complain because it hurts. After all the build up, it'll be a divorce.

Well lauren...cleaning the toilet can be a revolting task if it's not done frequently...but some tasks must be done by someone. :P

Seriously though...

I think she's being irrational too, but I would not compare it to doing laundry or any other 'task'...and if he knows what he's doing there is pleasure to be received in return.

But as far as making a costs/benefits analysis...personally, such thinking will always be kept out of the sexual arena for me. If it's not an experience of mutual pleasure, then what's the point?

Maybe you shouldn't have agreed to it?

This might sound kinda weird.. but maybe watch some anal porn? Adjust yourself to it and get over the resentment you have towards your ass

At least afterwards you'll always be able to bring up the, 'I've busted my ass for you!' & he'll know it's literally true!

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

At least afterwards you'll always be able to bring up the, 'I've busted my ass for you!' & he'll know it's literally true!

hahahahhaahhahahaha

ohhhh good ol' moony

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

At least afterwards you'll always be able to bring up the, 'I've busted my ass for you!' & he'll know it's literally true!

Heh, good point!

I actually feel better today...I quit drinking teh booze recently and it's been screwing with my mood. It's wierd how much more cheerful I feel after my 11:00 cocktail followed by one at noon, 2 or 3 after that and so on. Why did I quit? To proove to my husband that I'm not an alcoholic!!

He really just wants to fuck himself in the ass.