My friend, lets call him John, has been mentally unstable for a while. He was molested by his step mother when he was younger, was anorexic/bulimic (all while being diabetic, which really fucked his blood sugar up), developed an addiction to drugs and alcohol, and has been in and out of rehab atleast 5 times in the last year.

Well, before all of the anorexia & addictions really became full blown, he met a girl named Lorissa at a summer camp for diabetics the summer after 8th grade (he's 18 now). They were friends for a while and talked online for about 2 years, even though they lived 8 hours away. They eventually fell in love with each other and remained together for about 6 months.

John eventually goes and visits her and stays with her family. No one at all knows they're together, not even her mother whom she is very close to. He's always introduced as just a friend. They also spend literally no alone time together when he's down there.

They stay together for about a month after he gets back home and then they break up. He confesses to me that the relationship was really going badly and that she hardly ever talked to him anymore at all. That's when all of his major problems start.

He starts drinking every night, screwing up his blood sugar, and eventually it leads to his hospitalization and him going to rehab for the first time. He comes back, developes and eating disorder, goes back to rehab. He comes back, developes an addiction to various pain killers, goes back to rehab. Repeat.

Last night, on Lorissa's 18th birthday, she sends him a text message saying that she took 200 units of insulin to kill herself. He freaks out and starts to feel bad about the whole relationship and blames everything on himself again. She also tells John that she was raped right before they broke up. I see right through this and call bullshit. I'm pretty sure I pulled this type of shit to get my way at like 13. He tells me he believes her and that he wants to give it another chance because she apparently still cares about him since he was the reason she tried to kill herself.

I really want to hit him and murder her, but I would rather just talk him out of it. Is there anyway that I could make him see what he's about to put himself through? I would normally just leave it alone and let him see for himself what's going to happen but he is SO mentally unstable.

Thats some pretty harsh stuff man, but unfortunately in any case where some one is blind to obvious problems/faults the only thing you CAN do is state your opinion and try and point him in the right direction. i was once told that you should never tell some one what to do, only suggest what you yourself would do or what you think is a good idea, because if they do listen to you and something other the the good intentions you had ment to happen, happens how would that look. just let him know how you feel about what hes getting him self in to, and good luck!

quote: Is there anyway that I could make him see what he's about to put himself through? I would normally just leave it alone and let him see for himself what's going to happen but he is SO mentally unstable.

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Doubt it, unless you can prove shes' lying, and even then it would probably just upset him.

I'm so sorry about this. I've got an equally fucked up friend as well. It's a hard situation I know.

Stay away from her. She'll go crazy and perhaps turn John against you. I pretty much go with what the poster(s) above me said about letting him know how you feel. Don't tell him what to do, if you do you're taking control. He needs to see for himself eventually.

I know there's really nothing you can do to keep drug addicts away from drugs but perhaps you could take him out for a good time, drug free, and introduce him to some new women?

He really doesn't need to get back with that girl and I know you realize this, but as his friend you'll need to do everything in your power to keep him away. She's just going to bring him down even more. If he's looking to get better, she's not going to help him.

I'm not really sure what to say but I hope everything works out for him. Good luck.

Beat his ass, tell him to put down the bottle, and grow some nuts.

She sounds full of shit. Why on your 18th birthday, why not a long time ago since she's such a suicidal headcase? Tell her to act her age and get lost.

Life ain't fuckin' fair, deal with it.

Try to get a responsible adult involved in this situation, this is very serious, and with his past addictions and unstability, both appear to most likely reoccur, if you can't do it, get a profession to try.

Good luck.

EIL>

Your friend obviously lacks the capacity to learn himself, you could leave him to "get burned" from this experience but he'll still run wildly into the flames like the idiot he is.

If you somehow save him from this crazy lady, he'll only end up finding another one.

i don't really know if you can get him to stop, but at least you can get him to think about what he's doing. talk to him and try to give him another perspective. ask him "what if?" questions -- not in a naggy way, but in a rational way to see if he has answers in his head or plans for solving problems should they arise. basically get him to consider different scenarios and make him think about if he is really ready to deal with them if they happen. try to get him to think about feelings that might arise for him. but be understanding and not too pushy, since you want to stay in communication with him and not alienate him.