Well, i need some motherfucking confidence.

I am a good looking guy (I'm not cocky but i've been told it many the time and take care of my looks)

And i'm not getting pussy because of my fucking lack of confidence and being insecure of my ability.

What should i do?

By the way, i don't display that crass "Getting pussy" type of manner to people. Thats just for you, guys

Thanks people x

I think you're going to have to hang out with dumb chicks.

Just fucking stop caring what other people think about you actions, and do what you feel is right and just for yourself.

If you can stick to it, and understand that to be confident you need to not try and get pussy nor care about what other's say about you. Otherwise, you're doomed to live the life of a hobbit.

Gus, i tell myself that every day. I'm a popular guy, just not in that way for some fucked reason.

I feel insecure all the time socially and worry too much so i can't be myself:S

What do you feel insecure about?

I feel insecure cause these people are the main group socially, they're the most popular people out of all and they are concidered the best group.

Its lame, i know.

I'm concidered partly in that group, and those girls are the ones i like, but i dont have the damn confidence.

At all.

1. Quit wearing pants (i know it sounds radical, but bear with me here)

2. Attach something shiny to your penis.

3. Strut your stuff in public places filled with lots of dirty whores.

4. We all know females are fatally attracted to shiny things, its only a matter of time until one goes for it. Its just like fishing, and far more satisfying.

5. Once they bite, hit them over the head with a club and throw them into a cooler for later use/consumption/whatever your 15 year old mind can come up with.

I go through what you are on a regular basis. I'm feeling good right now, so here's the deal.

Slow down. Calm down. You are in control. What do you want to do? Do it. Live up to your responsibilities, even if you don't want to. You will feel better afterward.

Stay calm, and in control. That's all there is to it.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:



If you can stick to it, and understand that to be confident you need to not try and get pussy nor care about what other's say about you. Otherwise, you're doomed to live the life of a hobbit.

I'll have you know the life of a hobbit is a very fullfilling one.

Unfortunately theres no button to press.

It comes with experience and age. Try to put yourself into situations you usually feel ucomfortable in, and make yourself be part of the action. You will gradually gain confidence.

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Otherwise, you're doomed to live the life of a hobbit.

Being a Boggie is much more fun...

*hums "Hey Ho for Tom Benzedrino"*

I would say I'm in roughly in the same situation as you (original poster). Maybe the difference is that I have confidence, but I just do nothing with it.

Whatever, it's not about me.

Actual helpful (?) bit: What are you good at? Me, I play guitar. Pretty good. Now I know you don't want to be too arrogant but these things can be managed. I draw a great deal of pride from my playing, and the real kicker is, you don't even have to be *that* good at anything to do this. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself.

And if you have nothing, go to the gym. Lift some weights and before you know it your body image improves, self esteem and thus confidence are increased etc etc... Now I don't know if these are your specific issues but you get the point.

And yes, I know, it's hard to apply the pride you feel when you hit a 200 yard drive or whatever to being confident when dealing with girls, but it's all about how you feel inside at the end of the day. She will be able to tell if you are confident, but she doesn't know if it's because you have improved your golf swing or because you have a 15 inch penis... And it doesn't matter. Basically, and I realise how much of a cliche this sounds, but still... You have to get yourself to a point where you are content enough with your own life, and content enough that you don't need girls to like you. Obviously you still want them to, but if you have more going for you then you will feel better about yourself, they will be more attracted to you because of it and everything will fall into place.

Conversely, this same line of logic can work against you; if you feel sorry for yourself and mope around, not only do you make yourself feel worse but you are actually pushing yourself further from your goals. It's all linked, and that can be in a bad way or a good way.



Anyway, I've waffled for too long now. Hope this was helpful, although I have my doubts. This was my first post, by the way. Welcome to my world.

[This message has been edited by Lazarus (edited 11-14-2006).]

There's really no easy way. You just have to go straight on ahead & throw yourself into the ocean. Take it from me, I've struggled with the same problem.

And very few if any (relatively sober) people are 100% confident in starting relationships/getting laid. There will always be some initial butterflies & anxiety, that's just part of the experience and you have to push yourself to endure some temporary internal discomfort in order to attain anything worthwhile in this life.

im kinda the same way, what i do when im nervous about calling up a girl to hang out, or trying to get with a girl, i just think "If i end getting rejected or something it doesnt matter, cuase if shes not going to give me some, then theres no point in being freinds with her"

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I'll have you know the life of a hobbit is a very fullfilling one.

I don't like being short, so I'll just stick to being a half-orc.

Why the fuck is their never a girl with a lack of confidence issue, I bet their story will be more interesting.

^whenever girls post about a lack of confidence here, we get called attention whores.

so it's just easier not to.

OP, self-confidence is just something you're going to have to grow into. put yourself out there a little more. but there's really no magic button.

did'nt really read anything but the title..so here it goes, i dont approve of excessive drinking but it is

Liquid confidence ..plus its an alibi if anything untoward should happen (p.s. that was a joke..dont do anything unscrupulous or illegal.period)

OK, everybody stop calling girls who post lack of confidence issues, Attention Whores. All of you are attention whores, you are on a conversational forum site, if you ever need someone to talk to then you are asking for attention, their for you are an attention whore.

Serenity; calmness

l0L lUrn t0 sZp3Ll

In order to gain something, you have to know what it is that you want. Sure, you want confidence. But in what sense? The ability to go up to a random girl and ask for their number? Or to belong to part of the main popular group in high school? Confidence can be applied to any situation, and usually it makes you look a better and stronger person, unless you use it too far. But the attainment? Well essentially I would suggest that it fundamentally is doing or saying something, and not caring if you are wrong, or if someone else disagrees, i.e. having the balls to do what you want.

Now, as I see it, confidence can be used in two ways; either in accordance with other human interaction, or own your own. Probably the easiest to start off with is on your own. How I hear you say? Well, take pride in whatever makes you feel good inside. Say you play guitar. If you make a kick-ass riff, take pride and say "wow, I made this". Or etc. with any subject, e.g. art, writing, school work.

In social situations it can be hard to first apply it. Especially with people you see a lot. So perhaps (and this is where I gained mine), you have a job. Where people come and go, and are for the most, different each day. If you begin to interact with them, who cares if you fuck up? Chances are you wont see them again. So if you do, just move on to the next person. Practise social skills, talking and interacting. But remember, confidence essentially is saying what you want. If someone disagrees, well that's their opinion. But don't back down, you will appear weak. In fact, a side note here, even if you are wrong, those with the highest amount of intellectual confidence say, will change what they said (if actually wrong), and make it appear that they in fact are agreeing with the other person.

Now, once you have gained confidence in yourself, and with interacting with random strangers, time to apply it to those who you see regularly. This is the hardest stage, because, especially at young ages, people tend to judge. Yet perseverance is the key. Without trying, we are all doomed to fail.

Alcohol/Coke/Benzos

Or, if you're real desperate, therapy/prescription medications like anti-depressants and shit.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

I go through what you are on a regular basis. I'm feeling good right now, so here's the deal.

Slow down. Calm down. You are in control. What do you want to do? Do it. Live up to your responsibilities, even if you don't want to. You will feel better afterward.

Stay calm, and in control. That's all there is to it.

QFT

I like to call it the "Just Fly The Goddamn Plane" method.

quote:Originally posted by Raksasas:

QFT

I like to call it the "Just Fly The Goddamn Plane" method.



What about those motherfuckin' snakes?

quote:Originally posted by naive_wisdom:

What about those motherfuckin' snakes?

Just stand back and open some fuckin' windows. It'll be a summer blockbuster.