What are you supposed to do with them?

I have this drawer in my room and it has some letters and cards and such from my ex boyfriend. My boyfriend is getting on my ass to clean this drawer out (there's a bunch of other stuff in it too), but I'm resisting because I don't want to throw these things out.

I'm completely over my ex, but we were together for over 2 years, and we loved each other. I feel like it would almost be disrespectful to throw away this history, but at the same time, I guess it's kind of disrespectful to my boyfriend now to keep old love letters laying around too...

What do you guys do with this stuff? I suppose I could gather it up and put it in a box somewhere else in the house. I don't know...

Yeah, just gather it up and put it in a box else where. That way you won't be throwing away history, but at the same time not making your boyfriend upset.

Don't throw it out. You'd be disappointed if your current boyfriend and you end it in the future and you no longer had the memories of your past.

Things like this are good to hold on to. Plus, your current boyfriend should try to be more understanding. Not here to make a judgment though.

I've never had any mementos from past relationships

Except a bloody nose... She headbutted me... Lol...

Does he not have his own momento's? If he does, have you ever seen them? What would you want him to do with them?

Storing them away in a box is a good idea. As the above poster mentioned.

I'm not sure if he has any...But yeah, I guess the box idea is the best.

*scurries off to find a box*

Just put them in a box in the closet or something. You might want to read them or look at them some other time in your life.

Siding with the majority on this one.

Definitely do NOT throw them out, but DO keep them stored out of sight.

A few years ago I tossed or burned almost all of my old reminders (cards, letters, photos and such) and have regretted doing so ever since.

I put everything in a box, and leave it there. After a breakup I always gather up everything like photos, notes, receipts, ticket stubs, whatever junk I have laying around from my time with that person, and I put it all away. Since I don't live at home when I'm at college, I don't have to worry about looking at any of the stuff cause it's just sitting in a plastic tub along with some other stuff at home. It's good to have it to remember what I liked about the girls, and why I broke up with them. I'm too sentimental to throw it all away.

I believe you had an appropriate box. There were many locks involved.

He has to respect the fact that you have a past, the same way that you have to realize that he has probably cared about other girls.

Edit: In the same right, I got rid of what I had hung onto last year when I moved.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 11-14-2006).]

I think it was rabbitweed who suggested the box idea. It's a bloody great idea.

The only painfull bit is going about taping it up. It feels like filling in the grave of someone you really really love.

Somewhere I have a little autograph book I had from high school that I haven't seen in years. I wonder where that is. My first real boyfriend signed it saying something like, "Hurry up and turn 16." I wasn't allowed to date until I turned 16, he had to wait a whole year to take me out.

I wonder where that is...

I still have stuff laying around from my last serious girlfriend... Ive also about 500mb of photos on my HD of her, and shitloads of emails.

When I look at this stuff, it no longer reminds me of her... we did break up almost a year ago now, though, and Ive been dating since then. It's just stuff now, Ive kinda numbed to the whole thing with time.

At the moment it hurts too much to even deal with the stuff.

I think if I keep myself immersed in the internet and computer games for long enough, I can completely ignore the hurt.

Indeffinately.

Mines in a box under my bed...I think I will put it in my attic.

Lol, BUT WE LOVED EACH OTHER! Give me a break, if you really did love someone you wouldn't put a past tense on the word.

Please don't use the word love when you don't mean it, if you did love him you would AGAIN stick up for yourself and tell your boyfriend that you aren't getting rid of things sentimental to YOU.

However, I don't see the point in keeping it around, just because you spent 2 years with someone doesn't mean you love them. Would you kill yourself to save your ex-boyfriend's life?

If the answer is yes, keep the drawer, if the answer is no, clean the drawer out.

^ Love is a chemical reaction. If person A felt this reaction as a result of thinking about person B, then person A can soundly claim they were in love with person B.

Get rid of it, what is so hard about that?

It's just STUFF. You'll always have the memories, and that is all that should really matter.

When I was in high school I had a bunch of letters and photos and other random shit from my ex-girlfriends and other girls. As of now they are a pile of ash. I still remember those relationships without having little trinkets or letters around.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I think it was rabbitweed who suggested the box idea. It's a bloody great idea.

The only painfull bit is going about taping it up. It feels like filling in the grave of someone you really really love.

haha, I had to tape it up because I was moving around alot...didn't want all those 'precious memories' falling out:P Still, it meant I didn't want to open it afterwards.

To destroy or not to destroy momentos? I think it depends on what it's like with your ex. After the dust had cleared I tried several times to be mates with my ex. She had no desire to, and treated me disrespectfully.

It was an easy choice, in the end, to get rid of it. If she'd been civil to me afterwards, I would've kept it.

It's mementos, you dummy.

I still have little bits and pieces from past relationships.

Only read the OP.

I've only had one REAL relationship worth noting, but it was 3 years, so there was a good amount of stuff. I'd say about half of it I gave back to her, another quarter I gave to other people (nice picture frames, etc...too nice to throw away, but zero sentimental value).

The last bit (plenty of good (not noody) pictures I took and developed myself, a few little sentimental papers etc) I kept for a good month or two, then threw away. I didnt want to keep any of it, but I knew that I might regret throwing it away immediately, so I held it for a while, THEN threw it out.

PS, there are a few things, like one or two Xbox games that were gifts. Still have those. Too cool and not connected enough to her for me to ditch.

I burned all of mine.

quote:Originally posted by Shodan's Own:

PS, there are a few things, like one or two Xbox games that were gifts. Still have those. Too cool and not connected enough to her for me to ditch.

Oh yeah. I have a shirt and a pair of boxers from my ex. And a CD she bought. That shit's fine.

I have a similiar drawer, but i demand one drawer of privacty from family, friends, and girlfriends, so they dont really know about it.

Just keep the stuff that has material value. I threw out all the pictures and letters i had but i kept this gold ring with diamonds in it, DVD's, games, engraved zippo, Ghettopoly, lego, books etc.

quote:Originally posted by Zonko:

^ Love is a chemical reaction. If person A felt this reaction as a result of thinking about person B, then person A can soundly claim they were in love with person B.

Not in my world, love is a word that is strong in my world. It isn't just a feeling, it is what is the extent you would take yourself to help someone else. That is love, the farther you would go, the more you love that person.

I reserve the word love for the farthest you would go, meaning only rarely should someone use the word love.

For one girlfriend, mine are all in a can that is significant on it's own, the things that can't fit in the can are around it, some hanging on my wall.

For another, I gave them all back to her because I really couldn't stand having all those things involving her in my room.

Besides those two, I didn't have anything worth keeping so it went out in the trash.

Keep them.

I have odd cards and stuff scattered throughout my boxes that I leave in my parents house, but sometimes I wish I had kept bits and pieces more.

I sent back the necklace that one of my boyfriends gave to me, that reminded me far too much of him.

i keep mine next to the scorch marks in my soul

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

What do you guys do with this stuff? I suppose I could gather it up and put it in a box somewhere else in the house. I don't know...

Burn the shit in the back garden and realise it's over and the girl I'm with right now means more to me than some stupid letters and cards and shit from "someone I broke up with"!

It pisses me off seeing relics from my significant other's relationships...Makes me feel like I'm second best and she still has that fuck on her mind when it should only be me.

See what I'm saying?

The only thing I kept from my last real relationship was my dog (we bought together) some emails, a few pictures online, and I think that's it. Of course some of the things I have now, I had then, and remind me of her from time to time, but it's important shit, like my knife. Nothing left after four years together. I don't have much of my stuff left anyway, SHE took it all.

I have a few games too, but those are for fun, not to remind me of her. I don't need physical shit to remind me of her though. She's in my head, and that's all that matters.

And of course I have a scar on my hand from the very night it all went to hell. I think of it all every time I look at my hand.

I don't feel remorse though. I loved her, I still love her, I will always love her. We spent too much time together not to. Too much shit together to forget.

It never would have worked however, believe me, I tried.

I only hope the best for her in her life.

That's not to say I wouldn't break any guys face that hurt her. Shes in jail now, but I keep in contact a bit from time to time. I hope we can remain friends when she gets out. We were before she got locked up.

I sent a message telling her I was getting married, I hope it doesn't hurt her too much. Despite all the bullshit that's happened, I still don't want her to hurt.

Anyway, back on topic, I don't know what to tell you about your mementos. My fiance has some from her exs, and it doesn't bother me, though I'm sure some of mine bother her a bit. Don't know why though, it's over.

Anyway, keep what you want, and don't let him get in the way. It's YOUR life, not his.

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:



See what I'm saying?

Yeah, that's why I'm conflicted. Half of me agrees with you and the other half wants to keep this stuff. But that being said, if I found stuff like that that my boyfriend had kept, I'd probably be pretty hurt...But I'd feel immature if I actually said anything, so I would still tolerate the crap...Hmmm...