So, usually in the begining of a good relationship theres the great sex. It's frequent, it's hot, and you both love it. So what doyou do when you've been going out for a while and the sex starts to decrease, not only in frequency but in enthusiasm as well.

If it was up to me I would be having sex AT LEAST! every other night. But that's the bare minimum. We've been going out for over five months now and I'm lucky to get it twice a week. Always on the weekends, even though I spend every single night at his house. I know he does the porn thing frequently, and I would be fine with that if I didn't feel like I was almost being replaced. It makes me feel as though the relationship has way less intimacy.

Any suggestions?

Your guy is gay, or doesn't appreciate your body.

A girl's body is supposed to be worshiped, every time you see her. With out fail.

He sounds broken.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

Your guy is gay, or doesn't appreciate your body.

A girl's body is supposed to be worshiped, every time you see her. With out fail.

He sounds broken.

I wouldn't jump to this conclusion. sex drives differ. the stereotype that men are always raring to go isn't always true, though it often can be.

have you spoken to him about it? expressed your feelings and concerns? compromise might be necessary in this case. like when a guy wants sex from his girlfriend more than she is willing to give it, no one expects the girl to automatically conform to his expectations; nor should you expect him to have sex with you each and every time you want it if he has a lower sex drive than you. finding a middle ground should make you both happy. don't assume that it is your fault or that you aren't attractive enough for him.

it may also be the case that other things are on his mind, and that his sex drive isn't the issue. the only way to find out is by talking. "i've noticed we've been having sex a lot less often, and i find myself wishing that we had the passion we had in the beginning. i also find myself needing and wanting sex more than i've been getting it...." etc etc. not accusatory, just curious and concerned.

as arquin mentioned there is always the possibility that there's no more attraction, in which case you should undoubtedly break up, as dating someone who has a low level of appreciation for you can be very damaging to the self-esteem.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

I wouldn't jump to this conclusion. sex drives differ. the stereotype that men are always raring to go isn't always true, though it often can be.

Good point.

Depression. Depression makes even the horniest of guys absolute pussies. Just getting a boner seems like a chore.

Maybe he has issues with him self.

Does he go from crazy sex drive to low sex drive on a random basis?

2 times a week?!?

I think I'd have broken up with my ex faaar sooner than I did if we only had sex two times a week. Even in really rough times we still had 'makeup sex' atleast once a day.



I think you really really need to talk to him about it. Wanking to porn is pretty normal, but if that's taking priority over you and sexing you,..I think that guy needs a slap.

Everyone seems really sexualised when they mention they have sex "at least once a day". Maybe its because I used to live quite far away from my girlfriend and only saw her properly once every fortnight - even then, we didn't have sex all the time, and to be honest, didn't feel the need to all the time. Sure, we had great sex, but we had just a good a time cuddling and talking about things.

Now, the sex is non-existant owing to us both going to different Universities, but it's still not all that great a deal. How can people say they would dump their other half if they didn't sex once a day? Crazy.

quote:Originally posted by Ouster:

Everyone seems really sexualised when they mention they have sex "at least once a day". Maybe its because I used to live quite far away from my girlfriend and only saw her properly once every fortnight - even then, we didn't have sex all the time, and to be honest, didn't feel the need to all the time. Sure, we had great sex, but we had just a good a time cuddling and talking about things.

Now, the sex is non-existant owing to us both going to different Universities, but it's still not all that great a deal. How can people say they would dump their other half if they didn't sex once a day? Crazy.

Youre a nice person, i like you, and if i could i would give you a cookie.

Those three posters all have awesome points, although i would stress the point about depression more, how he feels about himself/self esteem and his confidence both with you and himself.

good luck

quote:Originally posted by Ouster:

Now, the sex is non-existant owing to us both going to different Universities, but it's still not all that great a deal. How can people say they would dump their other half if they didn't sex once a day? Crazy.

I agree 100%.

I've been with my missus over a year now and I can't remember the last time we had sex!

With our work patterns being so different, it's hard to get any time together to do it.

Stoopid work.

I have talked about it with him, numerous times. I guess I just wish the answer would change each time. Supposedly he's just not "in the mood" as much as I am. But here's an even bigger rub, when we do have sex he loses his erection a third of the time.

I feel like I'm left with nothing but the sad fact that he doesn't appreciate my body, as mentioned earlier. He has gone out with thinner girls in the past. And not to say I'm fat, but I'm definitely curvy. And honestly do have a little in the middle. But if that was the case, not being physically attracted, I would expect him to be honest with me and just tell me. I've told him I can take the truth if that was it. But he insists that's not it.

And go figure, today we sent very explicit naughty text messages to each other at work, how we ould come home and he could take advantage of me yada yada. I get home, take a shower, and find out he already masturbated today...AT WORK! WTF!

sorry to say it, but i don't think this relationship is going to last. you sound dissatisfied-- you feel inadequate. you've talked to him numerous times. you still feel this way. maybe you're not compatible.

quote:Originally posted by Parallels:

I have talked about it with him, numerous times. I guess I just wish the answer would change each time. Supposedly he's just not "in the mood" as much as I am. But here's an even bigger rub, when we do have sex he loses his erection a third of the time.

I feel like I'm left with nothing but the sad fact that he doesn't appreciate my body, as mentioned earlier. He has gone out with thinner girls in the past. And not to say I'm fat, but I'm definitely curvy. And honestly do have a little in the middle. But if that was the case, not being physically attracted, I would expect him to be honest with me and just tell me. I've told him I can take the truth if that was it. But he insists that's not it.

And go figure, today we sent very explicit naughty text messages to each other at work, how we ould come home and he could take advantage of me yada yada. I get home, take a shower, and find out he already masturbated today...AT WORK! WTF!

....

how old are you guys?

because honestly, if I'm not getting it at least once a day, I jerk it atleast twice. Once in the morn, and once in the eve..

He sounds like he's not attracted to you anymore.. or has other things on his mind(world of warcraft?!).

Dump him and find someone that likes the girls that aren't toothpicks.. because toothpicks are used for pickin your teeth, not sexin.

[This message has been edited by outcast234 (edited 11-15-2006).]