What are some good things to say to get someone in the mood? What makes for hot sex talk?

My ability to "talk dirty" is pretty limited. I need some advice to improve this skill. Normally I'm pretty silent during sex, so I want to be able to spice it up... What kind of stuff should I say?

"Do you mind if I insert my penis into your ear?"

quote:Originally posted by reject:

"Do you mind if I insert my penis into your ear?"

That reminds me... I actually had my dick in a girls ear once. I mean, partially only. Obviously the whole thing didn't fit...

Good ol' truth or dare. Even more fun when there's drinking involved...

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

That reminds me... I actually had my dick in a girls ear once. I mean, partially only. Obviously the whole thing didn't fit...

I'll bet you always say that...but she can't hear you can she? :P

quote:Originally posted by gadzooks:

That reminds me... I actually had my dick in a girls ear once. I mean, partially only. Obviously the whole thing didn't fit...

Good ol' truth or dare. Even more fun when there's drinking involved...

Liar. It was the whole thing.

I'd have thought after your little "scare" that this would be the last thing on your mind.

Oh well a leopard can't change its spots.

quote:Originally posted by Flawless:

I'd have thought after your little "scare" that this would be the last thing on your mind.

Oh well a leopard can't change its spots.

The odds really are in my favor... So I'm pretty sure I'll be able to have sex once again in the near future...

Besides, maybe I need to learn to enhance my sexual skills in all other areas than penetration, just in case...

"# Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead.

# Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.

# Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.

# Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men.

# Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

# Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.

# Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee."

tends to work well....if you're into intelligent women.

If you prefer inbred trailer trash then rewrite it a bit..."yer tits is sexier than a honda civic like,gal"

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your ____ feels in my ______. when you ____ i get so frickin _______. i'm imagining you ____ing my _____, and it's getting me really _____."

you get the picture. if you get really caught up in the moment i guess you can get a little more fantastical.

also it's never good to do a monologue like the above implies. make a statement, and then listent to the response. and don't superficially alter the tone of your voice. if you're turned on it will change naturally to become slightly more mellifluous.

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 11-13-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your car feels in my garage. when you drive i get so frickin shit scared. i'm imagining you fucking my car, and it's getting me really upset."

^^That sounds pretty good (Lauren).

You know what's kinda funny, the last woman I had sex with (the 33 year old) actually over did it... I mean, it was flattering and all, but it started to lose it's effect after a while.

It did actually have an effect on my performance though I think... Since she was so vocal about it, it gave me something to live up to, something to work with... kinda like when you get a gold star on an assignment in elementary school, and it encourages you to keep trying hard...

She kept going on about "Oh god it feels so good" etc etc

Although, maybe it did feel that good because of the drugs.... who knows?

^^^that got a chuckle out of me.

edit:

Damn it Gads....get outta da way!!!

[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-13-2006).]

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your PENIS! feels in my VAGINA!. when you PENETRATE ME!i get so frickin HORNY!. i'm imagining you FUCK!ing my VAGINA!, and it's getting me really HORNY!."





[This message has been edited by Zinedine Zidane (edited 11-13-2006).]

My boyfriend seduced me by whispering "I want you so bad right now, Chelsea..." in my ear.

I dunno though, I've never talked dirty in my life...

I dont know about talking dirty DURING sex because I dont do that usually. But before sex its easy. Just tell the girl things you want to do to her. I usually would talk about licking a girls body all over, up down slowly, stopping boobs neck ear, going farther down, stopping at spot licking some, making way up and as making way up dick rubbing clit, slight penetration, talk about pulling it out, make sure you mention how hard and big it is(if its small just pretend), talk about licking back up and down licking pussy and fingerign then finally pentrating and lots of thrusting DEEP thrusting hard and fast and yadda yadda how shes going to cum better then shese ever came before" With the talkinga bout fingering talk about how wet and nice her pussy will be and when talking about licking tits talk about how nice they are too, Obviously my version was just a basis and VERY vague guidline more details and do it nice and slowly and WHISPER it in her ear while you guys are watching a movie. She will want to fuck you so bad and her pussy will get so wet. I did this a few times god it made my ex so fucking wet we fucked on her couch under a blanket with her parents in next room(open they just had to get up and walk over and theyd see us but we did it slow and quiet). So yea it works As for the during sex, just be like "Oh yea im going to make u cum so hard oh yea you like my big dick in you dont you blah blah blah idk" soudns good to me. I loved it when shed get all into it and be like "OHH FUCK ME, FUCK ME HARDER HARDER FUCK ME ******* FUCK ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWW ******" Somtimes id be thinkign DAMN cuz theres no way i could have done it any harder or faster. Those were good times.

I stand by my classic "Do you want me to fuck you?"

That line alone lead to the losing of the innocence known as virginity for me.

eargasm, lol

*rimshot*

quote:and don't superficially alter the tone of your voice. if you're turned on it will change naturally to become slightly more mellifluous.[/B]

QFT! I had an ex that did that. It just sounded fake and made me uncomfortable.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

"you're so sexy. i love the way your disk feels in my drive. when you start up i get so frickin eager. i'm imagining you loading my saved game, and it's getting me really excited."

Think this will stop KotOR from crashing?

lol. yes, overdoing it is bad. starting with a very simple statement of sexual thoughts or feelings is the way to go!

and i like these fill-in-the-blanks you guys are coming up with!

I was going to give advice, but I found it already here.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

My boyfriend seduced me by whispering "I want you so bad right now, Chelsea..." in my ear.

I dunno though, I've never talked dirty in my life...

What the fuck is so unique about that?

Anyways, first step for you gadzooks would be to stop smoking crack so you can get your dick up.

Secondly I would say practice talking dirty, if you think you sound dumb, you will sound dumb. If you can't say dirty things to yourself in the mirror then how can you say them to someone else?

just tell her that you would like to put it up her ass ... girls love that



hahahaa

pwned

your a fag

Just start by telling her how good it feels to be in her. Then just experiment. I'm not much of a dirty talker, but every now and then it accidentally slips out, just naturally. Which in my opinion is the best way.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Secondly I would say practice talking dirty, if you think you sound dumb, you will sound dumb. If you can't say dirty things to yourself in the mirror then how can you say them to someone else?



I just injured my throat, and possibly scarred myself mentally...

I was in the middle of drinking a hot cup of coffee when I got a mental image of Bcup talking dirty to himself in the mirror.

^Is there really a difference between that and thinking something dirty?

I don't, and if all you do is sit around thinking about me naked while I talk dirty to myself, than buddy I don't want you to talk to me anymore.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

naked



Jesus did you have to tell me you do it NAKED too!?!

*plucks out inner eyeball*

[This message has been edited by fullcircle (edited 11-14-2006).]

Here we go afuckinggain..



*clutches guinea pigs to chest and dives from thread*

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

What the fuck is so unique about that?



I never said it was unique, I just said it worked...

Yes, it might surprise you fullcircle, but I am naked atleast twice a day. You know these things called showers?

Yea..they work wonders. I suggest you try them sometime, and perhaps you don't think about me this time when you're naked.

*hmmm...have never seen Carbon's pictures*

Lets play a game called 'Just the tip', just to see how it feels.

totse photo gallery. There is a wide variety of peoples photos on it.

http://ajare.org/photos/

quote:Originally posted by oc6:

*hmmm...have never seen Carbon's pictures*

You don't want to.

^Sorry, forgot this guy is a Calvin Klein model.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^Is there really a difference between that and thinking something dirty?

I don't, and if all you do is sit around thinking about me naked while I talk dirty to myself, than buddy I don't want you to talk to me anymore.

I can still think about it though baby, right?

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your ____ feels in my ______. when you ____ i get so frickin _______. i'm imagining you ____ing my _____, and it's getting me really _____."

I wish they had Madlibs books that were like this when I was a kid.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^Sorry, forgot this guy is a Calvin Klein model.

Never said I was. Pictures don't require you to flex what you call muscles, or have your shirt off.

quote:Originally posted by deadteenager:

I wish they had Madlibs books that were like this when I was a kid.

Hey, I was thinking that too!

Lauren could've been the teacher!

"you're so sexy. i love the way your corpse feels in my trunk. when you jerk spasmodically i get so frickin paranoid and hit you another ten times with the shovel just to be sure. i'm imagining you decomposing in my swimming pool, and it's getting me really relieved."

quote:Originally posted by Cegstar:

Never said I was. Pictures don't require you to flex what you call muscles, or have your shirt off.

Lol they were pictures for myself moron, I was tracking weightloss and I took the pictures so I could compare with down the road. I put them on a popular fitness site and that is how they got here. So shut the fuck up bitch.

Oh, lol and Zonko yea you still can.

wait thats a chicks name on the site, right? Fuck off im new!!



[This message has been edited by hypno (edited 11-15-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by hypno:

Im sorry but do you really not know how to spell "Oral". Come on put your thinking cap on here.

You have to be kidding.



No one tell him.

quote:Originally posted by hypno:

wait thats a chicks name on the site, right? Fuck off im new!!



How's school going? Taking English this year?

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

Originally posted by hypno:

Im sorry but do you really not know how to spell "Oral". Come on put your thinking cap on here.

You have to be kidding.



No one tell him.

ehehehe. my day is brightened.

This is all i could find..Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1) - Cite This Source

au‧ral2  /ˈɔrəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[awr-uhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–adjective of or pertaining to the ear or to the sense of hearing.

SO ?EAR SEX? you guys suck

hoolla. .

To be honest, the only way my hunny talks to me dirty is when he means it and is feeling hor (which is all the time, so that's no prob) Well you know them Persians, anywho. The Advice I'd give you is to be natural, you don't have to say dirty things in order to get her hot, sure they help, but being subtle, sexy and gentlemany will get you places as well, every girl may prefer something different.

For me, IF he talks hot, or if he doesn't I'm still hot for him cause I love that boy. Depends what level yer at as well, or I might be just making it sound sophisticated.

Lates; EIL>

shit i should actually read the thread

quote:Originally posted by hypno:

shit i should actually read the thread

Might be a good idea.

When I read the thread title I thought you were an idiot who couldn't spell oral. Now, I see otherwise.

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Yes, it might surprise you fullcircle, but I am naked atleast twice a day. You know these things called showers?

Yea..they work wonders. I suggest you try them sometime, and perhaps you don't think about me this time when you're naked.



I didn't say you merely GET naked

durrrrr

Reply after reading my post once again, very slowly this time. (I should just store this phrase with a hotkey, because I have to type it so often when you're around.)

[This message has been edited by fullcircle (edited 11-15-2006).]

^I don't know why you fucking do this bullshit, I already addressed you thinking about me talking dirty in another post.

The more you talk, the more and more I am beginning to think that you really are just stupid.

quote:Originally posted by Newspaper Bandit:

When I read the thread title I thought you were an idiot who couldn't spell oral. Now, I see otherwise.

I am not alone!!

I thought this thread was going to be about having sex with your aura.

fail.

quote:Originally posted by Rizzo in a box:

I thought this thread was going to be about having sex with your aura.

fail.

LOL

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

Lol they were pictures for myself moron, I was tracking weightloss and I took the pictures so I could compare with down the road. I put them on a popular fitness site and that is how they got here. So shut the fuck up bitch.

Oh, lol and Zonko yea you still can.

Wow! And I magically knew why you took the pics like that! Holy fuck! And you can ask Kai (or whoever is in charge) to take them down, if they're on Ajare, and take a normal fucking picture of yourself!

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

^I don't know why you fucking do this bullshit



That's because your sister is your mother.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your ____ feels in my ______. when you ____ i get so frickin _______. i'm imagining you ____ing my _____, and it's getting me really _____."

I fapped.

quote:Originally posted by Zinedine Zidane:

i think dirty talk can only be sexy if it begins genuinely, like with some sort of compliment, followed by an articulation of feelings and desires. "you're so sexy. i love the way your [b]PENIS! feels in my VAGINA!. when you PENETRATE ME!i get so frickin HORNY!. i'm imagining you FUCK!ing my VAGINA!, and it's getting me really HORNY!."

I laughed.

[This message has been edited by Argus (edited 11-17-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by fullcircle:



That's because your sister is your mother.

I also love how you only quote part of my replies, and then try to make some witty remark.

You are an IDIOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!

quote:Originally posted by CarbonB:

You are an IDIOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!



NO U