Heres the deal;

I have a best friend, who I share everything with, and she shares everything with me. I wasn't attracted to her in the begining... she only had good tits.

Then slowly as I got to know her I found myself falling for her BADLY. Theres numerous times when I just want to run upto her and hug her, thats all - just hug.

Well, she has a boyfriend. A nice guy, I get on really well with him. She has a guy that says hes in love with her, and stuff. He treats her like shit though, numerous times shes rang me up in tears crying about stuff. I just sit there and listen, advice and try my best. She "hates to love him" as she puts it, she loves him but doesnt want too.

But Im finding it hard to help her now. The slightest mention of one of this guy/her bf and I suddenly get ANGRY. Why the hell does she just talk to me about them? I dont give a fuck anymore. IM BEYOND CARING...

She cant go one simple fucking weekend without her bf? Then we got out and she starts crying saying she might aswell dump him as its no good?

Im just listening to her problems day in and day out. And its pissing me right of.

I say I like any girl, then she starts to say how shes better then the said girl! "Theres better girls... like me..." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

If you can remember my other threads, this is about the same girl.

Just today I saw her, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was stunning, and it upset me and angered me... this is how fucking pathetic this is making me feel. I've explained my feelings in depth to loads of people and they say Im in love. But why the anger?

I cant have her, yet she turns me off of other girls. But then she goes off and talks about other guys... and I'm meant to fix all her problems?

[This message has been edited by Modzilla (edited 11-12-2006).]

I would give her advice that would lead to her breaking up with the guy, and then confess my love to her.

I'd belt him and tell her I love her.

I know how you feel. I had a friend exactly like this and I'm still not over him.

I think you need to tell her how you feel about her and how much it hurts you inside to hear what she has to say about other guys. She's bringing you down with her and that's no good.

I hate to tell you to leave her because then she'd probably go insane. First her boyfriend treats her horribly, now you're out of her life. She obviously cares about you. She just needs a reality check. If she thinks you're going to be there for her to fall back on you need to show her how wrong she is. Tell her to make up her mind. Perhaps you being strict with her will help her to sort out her emotions.

If she does have feelings for you then you're making things between her and that guy worse. Just step back for a little while, perhaps a vacation of some sort. Leave her alone with him and she'll choose to either patch things up with him or to forget about it and leave him for you.

You do need to have a long conversation about your feelings and try to have her admit hers for you.

I know this is hard, love hurts. You can do it. You have to do it. It's the only way you won't go on living like this for a long time. You need to figure out now whether or not putting her behind is the best thing. She needs to help you.

next time she calls you and shes sad say ill be back in an hour and go beat the shit out of they guy and tell him to treat her well and then come back and say everything is going to be better. start telling her to dump him and that she really only calls to dump her feelings onto her about how much she hates him but loves him also. and remember.

I would wager on simple insecurity. She is looking at the end of a relationship and wants to know that she's an attractive person; that someone other than her boyfriend wants to be with her. She is looking to you for that security. It may not mean that she has any real interest in you, simply that she wants to know someone has an interest in her.

^ Thought you weren't trolling these parts anymore. How's your particular situation? Warmed to her a little?

OP, tell her man, and make it count. She'll leave him for you, I guarantee it, if you make it count.

Dammit. Meant for L (sylph).

[This message has been edited by stab (edited 11-12-2006).]

Theres a good chance that if you tell her how you feel, it will freak her out completely.

If you talk her into breaking up with him first, things could get messy.

If you're gonna tell her, do it sooner rather than later.

Sounds to me like she wants you to TAKE HER, sounds to me like she really does like you but right now your to pussy to take control and you just keep letting her put her problems on you. She wants you but she wants you TO MAKE her have her. Like she likes everything except the fact that your too nice. Be a little meanier or more forcefully try kissing her or some shit.

I know a few times looking back that I had girls sorta like this that i should have done something about it but fucked it up because I thought it would never be more then friends. But hey its your choice. Normally if a girl is COMPLETLY just friends they will say "go for that girl" or encorage but if shes saying better girl is her thats kind of a HINT, thats moer then a hint thats like a BIG neon sign saying TAKE ME YOU DUMB ASS.

next time she calls you, say something like "look, shut the fuck up. you obviously don't get on with your boyfriend. Talk to me when you've either dumped him or patched things up"

Then again, women that jump from one relationship to the other are ones to avoid if you want something serious, though you could probably sleep with her, if that's your thing.

Don't force a decision, just tell her that for the moment you would like to date her, and that you're there to surport her, but thin again, given enough time you might just fall for someone else.

quote:Originally posted by Modzilla:

She cant go one simple fucking weekend without her bf? Then we got out and she starts crying saying she might aswell dump him as its no good?

I say I like any girl, then she starts to say how shes better then the said girl! "Theres better girls... like me..." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?



That is without a doubt her going out on a limb, begging you to ask her out. but she doesn't want to dump her boyfriend first, for fear that you don't like her as anything more then a friend. she's yours if you want her.

She's having a good time mindfucking you.

quote:Originally posted by Modzilla:

I say I like any girl, then she starts to say how shes better then the said girl! "Theres better girls... like me..." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?



Attempt to get her to say this again, and then ask her what she means by that.

I mean, I love it when she phones me. Although I sound a little bored alot of the time, She just rings up for no reason. "Cleaning the puppies now.. Making some hot chocolate.." Like a running commentary of her life, and I like that! But this is another thing that makes me feel weird.

I really don't want to tell her about my feelings incase I lose a friend but Its eating me up.

Everytime I'm with her and her bf, They argue. Everytime I'm with them, without failure... and I end up sticking with her, maybe going after her.

Thanks for everyone advice.

She often says how shes better then other girls. And runs them down to me. Then the next minute she tries to get me together with her best friend! (The best friend that she is infinitely better then...) Then she is slagging her best friend off to me. She even sent a abusive text message to some girl who I liked, before generally taking the piss out of her on MSN. Why? Because she had hurt me apparently... (Although I did see the funny side of this...)

This girl can't seem to make her mind up. Im getting so many signals...

Dude,you have two options,at the moment,your just wasting your time with her,since she is dating other guys.Tell her straight up, be open,its just going to keeping building up inside of you.Another thing you can do,is make her realize that she can't be without you,she is totally dependent on you.Then she will stop talking about problems and more fucking,and sucking.

No offence,your playing a gay guys role,fags are the ones sit down with girls and discuss their girly problems with them,because they can't trust their own gender.She problaley thinks your a gay guy by now,if you love her be a man.It's up to you,show her who is her man or play the gay mans role.I doubt it you want to play the gay man role.

[This message has been edited by kool-aid (edited 11-13-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by kool-aid:

Dude,you have two options,at the moment,your just wasting your time with her,since she is dating other guys.

I dont want her like that, Or I dont want to want her I should say. I just fucking do.

This whole thing with her best friend, I think was me trying to break away and try and get over her. I dont know.

But I havent spoke to her since yesterday evening, and she hasn't replied to a txt I sent an hour ago. Where normally she replies in seconds, so now my heads all like "Wtf have I done?"... See how obsessed I am?

Oh... I just got the reply now. But anyway, shows how sad my situation is...

Solution

Tell her that if she hates to love him then any hate in a relationship is bad, try to comfort her, or make some of problems like kill your cat then whine to her so hers become unapparent... Also I recently got over a girl and it was becasue she was in a 'Friend-but-not-date' relationship, and you dont want to be in that situation.

I was in a similar situation. Except we stopped seeing each other after high school. We only talked on MSN/phone. All it took to change shit, initially, was putting my foot down. Then it took presence. All it took was my presence and she wanted me.

You already have presence, so now its time to put your foot down. You know your self, and what would be appropriate best.

This is sorta how I met my girlfriend.. except the anger part. I got her to cheat on her boyfriend, and I guess she actually "felt" something when she kissed me.. 2 weeks later I had a girlfriend..

Dude...I know what it's like to listen to the bitchings of some girl who's in love with her boyfriend but doesn't want to be, yada yada yada...

If I were you, next time she says she hates being with him, wants to end it, etc and you're pissed off enough, tell her flat out that if she feels like doing it then just go ahead and fucking do it and stop whining about it.

Also it's a good time to say "God I'm sick and tired of hearing this shit about how unhappy you are with this tosspot when he's lucky enough to have you and I'm not! If he's so fucking terrible dump the mother fucker and get with me instead!"

Oh, by the way, when she says that she's better than any other girl to you, it's a good sign that she likes you.

At least flirting with you somewhat!

This is so confusing at the moment... :@

Thanks for the advice again guys...