about their bodies I mean.

It's fucking annoying. Yesterday I had a very very fine specimen here in bed with me and she was just soooo shy about her body. It was really frustrating.

Whats up with that?

I could understand the insecurity if it was actually warrented, but in this case it's not. The same goes for my ex girlfriend, though it wasn't as bad. WTF?

Meh.

media portrayal.

that is the one and only answer.

quote:Originally posted by Mantikore:

media portrayal.

Agreed. My girl sometimes brings that up, she'll feel bad about herself. I'll be running my hand through her hair, get a hair or something on her nose, and she'll be like "Ugh I hate my nose it's huge." I like her nose, I don't know what the fuck she's talking about.



But in situations like that, assure her she is beautiful & hot. That's what I do.

jsut tell her what she wants

tell her shes fucking hot then fuck her and then kick her the fuck outtta your fucking hosuse

Shy how? Do you mean you couldn't get her naked in your bed?

No, by shy I mean that she didn't like it when I looked at her once she was naked.

Of course, that shit's not cool. If I just took of a hot chicks clothes I want to back up and take a look at what I got.

Yeah, but maybe realize that it takes a while for a lot of girls to get comfortable once they're naked with you?

quote:Originally posted by Geenie:

No, by shy I mean that she didn't like it when I looked at her once she was naked.

Of course, that shit's not cool. If I just took of a hot chicks clothes I want to back up and take a look at what I got.

Do you check her teeth as well?

Slap her bottom and belly to help in determining her fat content?

Ask her to sing for you?

What matter is that she's comfortable, not that you get the best look at "what [you] got". If it's a regular issue in the girls you're with, could it be something in you that brings out these feelings?

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 11-11-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Geenie:

about their bodies I mean.

It's fucking annoying. Yesterday I had a very very fine specimen here in bed with me and she was just soooo shy about her body. It was really frustrating.

Whats up with that?

I could understand the insecurity if it was actually warrented, but in this case it's not. The same goes for my ex girlfriend, though it wasn't as bad. WTF?

I agree. I just tell them to shut up and stop being stupid, you look fine. Seriously, women are so fucking insecure and I hate it. It's retarded. I'm not the best looking guy either, but I don't care. If she didn't like me, I wouldn't be naked with her, fucking her. She should look at it the same way. If I had a problem with a girls body, I wouldn't be there nailing her.

quote:Originally posted by Mantikore:

media portrayal.

that is the one and only answer.

Damn! You beat me to it!

You're very right, too. Eating disorders spawn from those Cosmogirl magazines or whatever they are.

Maybe they're just fishing for compliments. They want the reassurance/attention.

maybe it's not their fault and it's not an easy fix. ever think of that?

oh! how silly of us to forget that we could just snap our fingers and realize our beauty!

idiot.

Evolution. Haha, just kidding.

No, seriously, it's other women. I know, I know, that sounds weird. Hell, I totally admit I like a nice C-cup while the girl (this is the one rule that is almost always inflexible) needs to be really skinny, maybe even borderline anorexic. I always thought it was guys like me that caused these body image problems, but I swear to God 70% of guys like smaller tits nowadays and guys usually go for the average healthy weight.

So I thought it was man's fault until I watched how women treat each other. When women whine at us about body issues, we just say something like "STFU wannabe-kike" or "No, the real reason no one will sleep with you is because you have the vagina of a black woman" or some such. But when you watch women amongst themselves, the most friendly girls turn into judgmental assholes to one another. It's not like they criticize each other well, either. Straight guys are best with women's fashion because that's who they are trying to impress, or so I thought. I realize now this involves men pretty minimally.

It's completely women's fault. The female community ruin each other. Things like Cosmo and fashion TV. They are based on a female mentality because that is what they buy into. They are guilty of intrinsically ruining themselves.

Hell, they even say that most women think that they need to be skinnier than what men want, and the women themselves want to be even skinnier than that. I don't have the right text book to prove it though.

Oh, and as to the response of "Maybe realize it takes some time for a girl to get comfortable?", that's stupid and redundant because that's exactly what the topic is asking, 'WHY'? And as for the one about the way he looks at the girl making her uncomfortable, that's a violation of the man's comfort. Admiring the girl's body is one of the best parts of any sexual activity. It will feed some women's egos, it will make some women feel a little insecure but a little bit of empathy and comforting makes everyone a little more happy, and then you have the situation where the girl just isn't ready or somesuch. You can argue she has the right to that, but that just reinforces bad attitudes that men also have a right to.

I can understand someone being uncomfortable, and that's no crime. However, it's more than likely going to make the male uncomfortable as well. If they both just try to deal more with each others insecurity/hedonism and just relax, things will usually work themselves out.

Sorry, I'm all for comforting insecure chicks, I just hate it when people make it worse by offering solutions that will just cause more problems.

[This message has been edited by Communist Turtle (edited 11-11-2006).]

Euda you make it sound like I'm being a fucking dick for admiring a girls body.

I don't know about you, but when I have something nice I marvel at it.

If I buy a new car I spend time looking it over from head to toe, testing it out here and there.

And so I find it by no means wrong to admire a woman if you are seeing her naked for the first time. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting to look at a woman if she is naked in my bed. It's not like I'm judging her, scrutinizing, saying shit like "ok now turn around...mhm....mhm I see.. ok now pull your buttcheeks apart... aha....ok"- I just want to marvel at the beauty.

So no, I very very seriously doubt it has anything to do with me beyond the girls not feeling good enough for me.

Just be glad you didn't get stuck with those girls that are too afraid to take their tops off, but will gladly have sex with you.

Many are embarrased that they aren't a stick insect model type.

Others are merely fishing for compliments.

quote:Originally posted by psycho_8b:

Many are embarrased that they aren't a stick insect model type.

Others are merely fishing for compliments.

QFT.

I, for one, am a product of our society. I constantly fantasise about how much better my life would be if I lost x number of pounds. I love the heroin chic look. Unfortunately, I am a curvy girl so I will never be able to achieve this look I covet. I'm trying to be better though. I even have sex with the lights on now...w00t!

I try my best not to complain about my looks, but when I am feeling bad my boyfriend always makes me feel better. He helps me feel better about my body with his attitude. The fact that he's comfortable with his body makes me feel better about mine.

ok, i admit it, i'm the self conscious type. most people see me as very confident and secure, which is all true when i'm clothed. but when the clothes come off, i'm really unsure. i don't have the stick thin thing going on, i used to be heavier than i am now and i still have the 'big girl' image in my head, even though i'm not. i don't wear very revealing clothes, either.

so for me, it's lights off (or low lights) and under the covers i go. i wouldn't be comfortable with a guy just 'admiring' my naked body. i'd be ok if i was modeling something sexy for him, but not completely naked, then there's nothing to hide behind.

the real question is, how do guys make them feel better? adopt a no tolerance approach to them bitching about themselves? constant re-assurance? avoid talking about their looks alltogether?

Noone here has given specifics.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

adopt a no tolerance approach to them bitching about themselves? constant re-assurance? avoid talking about their looks alltogether?

Having tried the majority in the past, I am still baffled by this one.

quote:Originally posted by Mantikore:

media portrayal.

that is the one and only answer.

agreed. but, ask one if that's the reason they want to change themselves, and they'll deny it. every chick i'm friends with says she wants to lose weight and whatnot for themselves. now, when they both read bullshit female targeted magazines and one has pictures of models fucking everywhere with the word "beauty" on it, you know they're both full of shit.

Could girls also be made to feel insecure because they see how guys react to other girls and images of other girls with whom they then make self comparisions.

The media can be blamed just so far...



I think if guys were subjected to the same kind of things to the degree girls are they might have more of the same issues regarding their bodies.

Do you never, even slightly, feel insecure?



edit:

Keep in mind that this is from someone who is modest about her body...

But any comment about my body or if a guy looks at me a little too long, it makes me uncomfortable. It's okay to express some things like: "I love the way your _____ looks in this light..." during sex. Most any other kind of comment would make me feel self conscious outside of the bedroom.

I guess I prefer subtlty when it comes to such things. Plus I really don't think about my body very much, so it probably catches me off-guard when someone does make a comment.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 11-12-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Geenie:

If I just took of a hot chicks clothes I want to back up and take a look at what I got.

Hmmm...maybe you made her feel more like a commodity, than you did a woman?