I always wonder how does girl/guy feel about going out with minor disability person(Not down syndrome and shit like that).

I thought about this. Fanglekai said don't ask for email or whatever, but ask for phone number. What about deaf people or people with speech problems? I'm pretty sure that 90% of deaf people have problems with getting laid or at least go out on the date. How could they approach girl/guy without any of uncomfortable conversation.

Really, it's somewhat hard to tell if the girl is trying to be nice or is interested. Especially with disability people.

Your input?

Note: Sorry for rambling, I'm somewhat drunk.

Online dating. Mention your disability to get that out of the way, then write whatever you want to.

That also work, but on the other hand....ekk with online dating, you will never know what's wrong with them! *cough* irony, eh? *cough*

[This message has been edited by Volcanbaru (edited 11-09-2006).]

Meta would be a good one to answer this, as I'm sure he would be willing to go indepth.

I'll just say that it's not a difficult thing.

quote:Originally posted by Volcanbaru:

I always wonder how does girl/guy feel about going out with minor disability person(Not down syndrome and shit like that).

I thought about this. Fanglekai said don't ask for email or whatever, but ask for phone number. What about deaf people or people with speech problems? I'm pretty sure that 90% of deaf people have problems with getting laid or at least go out on the date. How could they approach girl/guy without any of uncomfortable conversation.

Really, it's somewhat hard to tell if the girl is trying to be nice or is interested. Especially with disability people.

Your input?

Note: Sorry for rambling, I'm somewhat drunk.



Question is, are you the one with the difficulty or you approaching someone with the difficulty? What seems to be the problem?

Speech problems and deafness should not be a big deal, well in face to face conversations. I have met problem with these problems and my first impression (no joke!) was they were very good listeners. Stutters would ask me short questions they can say clearly and get me to do all the talking. The deaf people I've met were such good lip readers that when I first met them, I did not even guess they could not hear me.



[This message has been edited by Omikcron (edited 11-09-2006).]

Yeah I know, but..he's much much older and isn't disablity(Other than his neck injure)

Online dating is out of the question lol.

Edit: ^^^ I'm deaf with speech problems(Yup, I sputter sometime when I try to say big words).





[This message has been edited by Volcanbaru (edited 11-09-2006).]

When I was in elementary school, my best friend was deaf, and last year I dated a deaf guy. It's never been an issue for me and probably wouldn't be for anyone else except the most shallow people.

I'm not deaf, but I have muscular dystrophy. It doesn't really get in the way, as long as you have the personality to overcome it. I can't even walk in a damn straight line, but it doesn't stop me from getting in relationships.

I'm legally blind and from my experience dating "normal" people hasn't been a huge issue for me. ( I know it asked how people would feel if they dated someone with a disabilty but it might be insightful to hear what I have to say, dunno)

For starters I really believe you should treat that person just the same as you would any other person. It was said above don't ask for email. Why not? Almost any living person can use it somehow. (Thats just an example.) But in general if you treat them like a normal person (no matter what the disabilty (blind, death, crippled) then you're not underestimating them.



Both the average person and the disabled person need to express openly the concerns with a relationship, regarding the disablity just as they would with any other issue. Communication just like any other relationship is needed.



Two basic parts of any relationship treat each other with respect and communicate, as Euda said its really not that hard.



If you want to know if the person is honestly interested, i'd go for just asking without throwing in the whole " are you just acting because i'm disabled". That thought may not have even crossed their minds so theres no point bringing it up.

Hehehe...I have an unusual "disability". It's actually a tic disorder (similar to Tourette's Syndrome). I randomly clear my throat, and make pop noises, and say things like "Wanker!" and whistle. I probably look like someone on PCP, and it's really hard to control. I've kept it a secret from everyone on my floor (I live in a residence hall) because I don't want people thinking I'm crazy.

Kati knows her stuff. She's the president of pale.

Well I have had no problem in this area and I am disabled.

And one of the woman I dated - and am kinda still seeing - is deaf. ANd she has had no trouble at all.

But she also reads lips and doesn't have to depend on sign language to communicate - in fact she doesn't know how to sign at all.

We've both found that people are a lot more willing than you would think to overlook disablilites in someone if that person has a good personality.

But I am also talking about people my age, I wasn't disabled when I was younger. SO I don't know if the same can be said of younger people, who may be more shallow perhaps...

quote:Originally posted by Elephantitis Man:

Hehehe...I have an unusual "disability". It's actually a tic disorder (similar to Tourette's Syndrome). I randomly clear my throat, and make pop noises, and say things like "Wanker!" and whistle. I probably look like someone on PCP, and it's really hard to control. I've kept it a secret from everyone on my floor (I live in a residence hall) because I don't want people thinking I'm crazy.

That sounds like something that would be hard to keep secret for too long. Expect sitcom style hilarity.

Anyway I am 21 year old in college with a bad back and am diagnosed with depression. Does that turn and of the ladies on?

You will find that the older/more mature a person is the less disability is an issue.

One of my sons is a cripple, a spastic ( I don't do political correctness!). He is now almost 17. He found a lot of girls wanted him as a friend but he had problems getting a 'normo' into a relatinship. He got stood up a lot because the girls suddenly got worried what their friends might think of them etc.

quote:Originally posted by icantsleep:

That sounds like something that would be hard to keep secret for too long. Expect sitcom style hilarity.

I've kept it secret now for over 2 months. I stay in my room (where I can let out my tics). Sometimes, if I'm on the elevator by myself (I live on the 5th floor), I freak out while I'm riding it, then once it stops I go back to holding my tics in. A couple times I haven't been able to stop though, and the door opens and people see me twitching and shit.

The majority of my ex boyfriends have been mentally fucked up, from the guy who had to wash his hands every 5 minutes (OCD) to the emotionless shithead robot who couldnt quite grasp the fact that other human beings actually had feelings (Apergers).



But I've never dated one physically disabled.

Not that I wouldnt, but I really would be worried that the person thought I was with them out of pity or some shit like that.



I dunno, I guess to meet disabled people I'd have to hang out where disabled people hang out. and I dont know where that is.

quote:Originally posted by Kati:

I'm legally blind and from my experience dating "normal" people hasn't been a huge issue for me. .

I'm sorry if this question seems insulting. I'm really not trying to be offensive:

By 'legally blind' does that mean classed as blind by the law as in unable to drive a vehicle but not completely without lack of vision?

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I'm sorry if this question seems insulting. I'm really not trying to be offensive:

By 'legally blind' does that mean classed as blind by the law as in unable to drive a vehicle but not completely without lack of vision?

Yes.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

One of my sons is a cripple, a spastic ( I don't do political correctness!).

What exactly is a spastic and what happened that he ended up a cripple? Obviously if you're uncomfortable with it, don't bother.

Also of note: I am glad you're not PC.

quote:Originally posted by malaria:

What exactly is a spastic and what happened that he ended up a cripple? Obviously if you're uncomfortable with it, don't bother.

Also of note: I am glad you're not PC.



He suffered oxygen defieciency during the birth, this caused some brain damage. Spastic is also known as 'cerebral palsy' . In his case it means his legs are fucked (that's the medical term i believe) but the rest of him is pretty much ok. Mentally he's fine

WHen i see other kids who were without oxygen for a few seconds longer than him...I realise how blessed he and we were.

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:



He suffered oxygen defieciency during the birth, this caused some brain damage. Spastic is also known as 'cerebral palsy' . In his case it means his legs are fucked (that's the medical term i believe) but the rest of him is pretty much ok. Mentally he's fine

WHen i see other kids who were without oxygen for a few seconds longer than him...I realise how blessed he and we were.

That doesn't really seem like girls would have a problem with it. Although, I remember being turned down when I was about 14 for wearing an orange sweatshirt..

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I dunno, I guess to meet disabled people I'd have to hang out where disabled people hang out. and I dont know where that is.[/B]



If you ever met me, you wouldn't even assume that I'm deaf. It's rather hard to tell if someone is disability other than blind person or someone with syndrome.



I'm pretty much normal, but however, about 95% of kids at my school knows that I'm deaf.



Edit: Like I said, it's hard to tell if someone is trying to be nice because they feel bad for them being disability.

[This message has been edited by Volcanbaru (edited 11-09-2006).]

I have a friend who has cerebral palsy and he's totally normal except he can't walk and has a curly hand. But, he's quite fit and is pretty attractive. I've definitely thought about it, but I have a boyfriend. So no.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

I'm sorry if this question seems insulting. I'm really not trying to be offensive:

By 'legally blind' does that mean classed as blind by the law as in unable to drive a vehicle but not completely without lack of vision?



Basically, I'm "paritally blind" like my visions 20/300 if that means anything to anyone, due to albinism.

Edit: It also can't be corrected in anyway.

[This message has been edited by Kati (edited 11-09-2006).]

I'd have no issue dating a deaf guy.

Partially deaf or blind.. sure.

diabetes.. sure.

speech impediment.. sure.

walking with a limp.. sure.

In a wheelchair forever.. no.

prosthetic limbs.. no.

epilepsy.. no.

blind and deaf.. no.

mentally disabled.. no.

quote:Originally posted by Kati:

albinism.



Pics?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/albinochick816/me1.jpg

quote:Originally posted by Kati:

htt p://img.ph otobucket.com/albums/v622/albinochick816/me1.jpg (http: //img.phot obucket.co m/albums/v 622/albino chick816/m e1.jpg)



were you angry about the albino guy in davinci code? i know a lot of albinos were

quote:Originally posted by jackketch:

Spastic is also known as 'cerebral palsy' .

That is the greatest thing I have ever read. You always call it like it is

quote:Originally posted by jimany:

That is the greatest thing I have ever read. You always call it like it is





You don't read much, do you?

I enjoy the fact that he doesn't sugar coat anything. How does that lead you to the conclusion that I don't read?

I'm a chain-smoking alcoholic sociopath.

quote:Originally posted by heisler2:

I'm a chain-smoking alcoholic sociopath.

Kevin?

quote:Originally posted by jimany:

Kevin?

Allan?

You lost me... That show hasn't been on in years.

EDIT: Unless your name actually is kevin, and you think mine may be allen.

[This message has been edited by jimany (edited 11-11-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Kati:

htt p://img.ph otobucket.com/albums/v622/albinochick816/me1.jpg (http: //img.phot obucket.co m/albums/v 622/albino chick816/m e1.jpg)

Melanin (sp, or I'm a dumbass) deficiency! Yay! Can you get a closeup on your eye for me? I find the redness to be quite awesome actually.

[This message has been edited by ADogg (edited 11-11-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by jimany:

You lost me... That show hasn't been on in years.

EDIT: Unless your name actually is kevin, and you think mine may be allen.

You don't remember the magic goose?

His name was allen? Cool.

That show was Canadian gold. Kevin Spencer, it still has a website.

Kati is supercool. There is no denying it. I mean, how could she be the President of Pale without being supercool.

Eh...My name is Allen 0_0

quote:Originally posted by jimany:

I enjoy the fact that he doesn't sugar coat anything. How does that lead you to the conclusion that I don't read?

It was a joke, thus the "wink" at the top. (A play on the absoluteness of "the greatest thing I have ever read")

eh...that's just my sense of humour....

I forgot to add that Panthrax would also be a good one to throw in his 2 cents as he is disabled too.

quote:Originally posted by Metaphysicist:

I forgot to add that Panthrax would also be a good one to throw in his 2 cents as he is disabled too.

Panthrax, where are you?

quote:Originally posted by Cousingrimm:

I'm not deaf, but I have muscular dystrophy. It doesn't really get in the way, as long as you have the personality to overcome it. I can't even walk in a damn straight line, but it doesn't stop me from getting in relationships.



I have a friend just like you. He's cool as shit, I dont think of him as disabled.

I had a deaf friend one time, could understand every word I said but I had a hard time understanding him. I guess thats life.

quote:Originally posted by graphite:



I had a deaf friend one time, could understand every word I said but I had a hard time understanding him. I guess thats life. Believe me, it's really fucking frustrating.



[This message has been edited by Volcanbaru (edited 12-01-2006).]