I've been trying to find new ways of doing things and breaking old habits of being, perhaps, overly receptive. May be even a "tease".

So last weekend this very attractive guy comes onto me. Of course he comes onto me in that I'm-too-cool-to-hit-on-chicks sort of way. He's very subtle about it to the point where I knew he was hitting on me but I didn't want to assume. Anyways, we traded band websites and agreed to see each other play. Which I think is fine - I consider this networking.

But, he e-mails me and asks when I'm free next to go to a concert. I say that I'm going out with some girlfriends on Thursday night - he should come along. This, I think is also fine, accept for I didn't make it perfectly clear I have a boyfriend, mostly on account of I didn't want him to think I was assuming he was hitting on me. How retarded is this?

Anyways, he asks me if I want to go see Xiu Xiu on Friday and I finally write back saying

"I don't know what the protocol is for these sorts of things, but I should tell you that I'm seeing someone. I hope I'm making an ass out of myself assuming things, because I was already planning on seeing Xiu Xiu and I'd totally like to get a drink there or something."

Breaking old habits or still being a tease? It's your call.

Cheers,

Lost

[This message has been edited by LostCause (edited 11-08-2006).]

You're doing the exact same thing. You keep him around as a "friend", till the breaking point, and then you tell him you're seeing someone. The only old habit you broke is being more cruel.

[This message has been edited by Aseren (edited 11-08-2006).]

If you're questioning yourself already then maybe there might be a problem?

my personal opinion is you handled it beautifully. it's more of a compliment the way you did it. shows more respect. because he wasn't necessarily initiating dating, though he might have had it in mind. he was just starting a friendship, even if his ultimate purpose was something greater. if he doesn't think you're worth seeing as a friend he'll tell you. now things are clear and the ball is in his court. good job.

It's good that you're being upfront with him to start, and I think that's an awesome way to break the old habits.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

If you're questioning yourself already then maybe there might be a problem?

That was kind of the point.

Cheers,

Lost

Assumptions or not, as Zek said, at least you were clear you arent looking for any serious relationships.

Its still a good rule of thumb to not do anything until you both know where each other stands.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:



Anyways, he asks me if I want to go see Xiu Xiu on Friday

Maybe your response to that should have been 'Yeah cool! I really wanna see them! Can I bring my boyfriend and some mates?!'

If he isnt making it clear what he wants you dont have to deal with his mindgames.

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

That was kind of the point.

Cheers,

Lost

Ah shit I read the bottom paragraph wrong, sorry lo

He wrote back to me today saying "Don't feel wierd. I wasn't hitting on you. I just thought we could hang out friend type. I'll bring some friends."

So sweet! I really want to hook him up with my friend Syrena. To tell the truth, he's very attractive but he's not really my type. He's too young for me (about 23) and super over stylized. I mean, I think it's all hot when guys are all hipstery and shit with their hair and tight clothes, but I can never take them seriously when it comes down to it.

My boyfriend is sort of hipstery, but just the way I like it. All the tight clothes and funny hair, but rough around the edges.

Anyways, he's totally my friend Syrenas type and his hotness just cannot go to waste. And now we have a big group of hot people to go see the scene show with. Score!

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by LostCause:

He wrote back to me today saying "Don't feel wierd. I wasn't hitting on you. I just thought we could hang out friend type. I'll bring some friends."

So sweet! I really want to hook him up with my friend Syrena. To tell the truth, he's very attractive but he's not really my type. He's too young for me (about 23) and super over stylized. I mean, I think it's all hot when guys are all hipstery and shit with their hair and tight clothes, but I can never take them seriously when it comes down to it.

My boyfriend is sort of hipstery, but just the way I like it. All the tight clothes and funny hair, but rough around the edges.

Anyways, he's totally my friend Syrenas type and his hotness just cannot go to waste. And now we have a big group of hot people to go see the scene show with. Score!

Cheers,

Lost

He's the same age as you, no? And that's too young? You are an idiot.

I saw Xiu Xiu a couple months ago.

quote:Originally posted by the phantom stranger:

I saw Xiu Xiu a couple months ago.

They're nifty.

Cheers,

Lost

quote:Originally posted by malaria:

He's the same age as you, no? And that's too young? You are an idiot.I'm like this too, probably to a larger degree to be honest. It a preference, like an opinion, i.e. something that can't be inherently incorrect. Bluntly, deal with it?