My friend introduced me to this girl on AIM. Lots of my friends know her. I've been talking to her for about a week and a half. We could talk for hours. We've talked at least 1 1/2 hours straight each time. We taked about long distance relationships and she said she doesnt believe in it. Thats good becuase I don't either. But I ask you Totseans who have had long distance relationships. I've never had a girlfriend EVER. Do long distance relationships work out fine, or crash down burning?

They fail.

/thread

Do you mean relationships as in bf/gf or relationships as in friends?

I think it's very possible to have good friendships long distance.

gf/bf relationships probably not so much, it's just going to get messy with one being totaly loyal and loving and the other one assuming that they can still fuck around in real life or whatever..

Thats pretty soon to be talking about relationships, yous have already declared that yous dont think they work, so yeah. I guess it depends on how often you can actually see them and the distance between you two.

Everytime I hear of a Long Distance Relationship, I always assume they go bad, because there just isn't the affection there to keep it going. Me and my girlfriend have discovered how necessary Sex & Affection is in a relationship and without it, it'll genuinely end with a crash and burn answer.

Coming from a person that's done a variety of different long distance things the answer would be about 90% fail.

Meet her first, don't just start a relationship without meeting her.

Spending huge amounts of time talking to someone new on the internet, immediately clicking... you're gonna find you're falling for each other to an extent.

Keep it friendly... don't try to commit to someone who's too far away to visit on weekends, at worst.

Speaking from experience.

quote:Originally posted by kAtE-:

Meet her first, don't just start a relationship without meeting her.

Yep. In general, they don't work. It's too platonic.

They work if you actually see them and make planes for it to not be a long distance relationship.

Atleast it is for me.

I was in one, and I was totally like "I dont know what the big deal is...this is fine. People talk about long-distance like its impossible. This is okay."

...note how I said I WAS in one. Yeah. IT SUCKS. Dont do it unless you can see them at least weekly.

My long distance relationship was the best I've ever had.

But.

1: We'd actually met and developed chemistry in the flesh before she left.

2. Almost from the beginning we had a plan to meet up again.

And yes, it failed. But what relationship doesn't? And if you like the person, why the fuck not.

It only works if you're not in it for the sex. My friend is dating a guy in the next state down, and they make it work fine. They talk on the phone all the time, and they're actually engaged to get married next summer.

But they're religious. Like Baptist. They don't think they should even be making out before marriage. So neither of them is going to get lonely and horny and screw it up with someone of closer proximity. If sex matters to you at all in a relationship, it won't work.

When I was not quite 14 I met a girl at camp who lived 26 miles away from me. We corresponded a lot, met at camp the next year.

She broke up with me when I was not quite 16 - guys who already had cars were asking her out. So my experience is, no, it didn't work for me.

Your mileage may vary.

A long distance relationship CAN work, as long as both people are totally committed. My boyfriend (MLoR) and I have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. We have plans to move in together after I graduate. He's driven out to stay with me for the weekend twice. (he was here just last weekend)

I think that as long as the people involved are mature enough, and have means to see each other, then it can work. It's hard but it will work. PATIENCE IS KEY

Currently, my boyfriend and I are living 520 miles away from each other. But everything still works just fine.

It's all going great, there's affection and talk of meeting. And then the other person will casually mention 'Oh, I'm going out with this chick tonight..'

And you cant be angry because allthough you know you've put alot of time into this 'relationship' the fact remains, that neither of you really owe each other much and there's much much easier pussy to get closer to home.

yea they definitely work, ive been with my gf for four months, 3 of which i have lived in GA while she lives in NC as long as you can talk a lot and see each other about every three weeks it could work, it could help that we fuck a lot though when we see each other

They work, if you both put in a shitload of effort. Mine lasted roughly a year with a girl across the country from me, but now we're "taking a break" because she doesn't feel like putting in the effort to make it work.

So yes, it's hard, but most of the time one of the people will just get sick of it and give up.

how can they really work unless you know the person first and know that you care about them enough to want to put in that effort? i'd say that a relationship in which you've never actually physically been with the person is pretty likely to fail miserably, as long distance relationships are trying at best.

Seriously, no matter how much you like that person, if you have to make plans to see them all the time when they are far away, its noo good. I was in one. they were only two hours away. but, only seeing them once or twice a month isnt that great man.

It can be done. But it requires something special and unique to work. Both people have to have strong feelings and comitment towards each other. If youre looking around I think its doomed from that point on. Speaking of which I think Im just about done with mine.

For someone youre not to close with to begin with I say I give it a 3% chance of survival.

But il say good luck just because Ive been on this optimistic wave recently.

It's possible for them to work, though not probable. I had one that lasted for a year and a half, and it was by far the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. If we had been a couple of years older and able to travel, then it might've worked out. We're still best friends.

[This message has been edited by neato bandito (edited 11-07-2006).]

It really depends on the situation.

Ex: A friend of mine started dating a chick that lived in NYC (it's about an hr 10 from us) Most people wouldn't deal with that.

He ended up putting over 30k miles on his car driving back and forth visiting her multiple times a week. They're still together, she actually moved in with him. (It was slightly one sided too. Living in the city she didn't have a car/couldn't drive. So he was always the one visiting her. But she was worth it.)

Take another friend for example. He and his girlfriend just seperated. They live the same distance appart, but I guess they just weren't willing to put in that extra effort.

I guess it depends on how much you love them, and how much you're willing to/you can try.