Okay, so I’ve been with this girl a month, she’s the kind of girl who spends her weekend drinking a partying, which, personally I have little problem with as I often do the same myself.

The thing is she claims NO responsibility while under the influence, and has recently said that “its likely only a matter of time before something happens”. Meaning her making out with some other random guy or girl.

Now, she says I’m suppose to be okay with it because it wouldn’t be her fault, that she wouldn’t do anything on purpose, and that as a fellow drinker, I “should understand how it is”? Being drunk and all?

I think I was being fairly reasonable when I told her I was a little upset and that that really didn’t work for me

Any thoughts, Totse? What am I really suppose to do? Breaking up with her is out of the question, because I’m sure this is something that can be talked through.

(I apologize for the state of my writing, I’m just a little upset...)

Thanks.

-F☺rd

Dude, that's totally disrespectful, and you should not put up with that at all.

I dont know what kind of alcohol other people seem to drink but no matter HOW drunk ive been in the past, and its gotten pretty bad ive never totally lost control of myself and i cant imagine how much alcohol id have to consume to just forget i have a partner.

Leave now, shes obviously just using that as a reason to get around it.

Its not her fault. She's just not ready to settle down into a serious relationship.

But I agree, better to end it now, or at least revert back to the 'friends with benefits' stage.

wow.. that is some serious bullshit..

first of all, you need to check her on that shit immediatly-- and what the hell do you mean "dumping her is out of the question"" ?? your girl is basically telling you that she is gonna be hooking up with other guys and you are jus gonna sit back and let it happen??

what you SHOULD have told her is--- "no. cheating on me drunk is equally as bad as cheating on me sober. it's your RESPONSIBILITY to AVOID certain situations in which there could be guys that could take advantage of you. these CHOICES have NOTHING to do with alcohol."

the fact that she is trying to deny any responsibility if she cheats is absolutely insane.. and just a sign that she isn't ready to be in any kind of committed relationship. and the fact you are letting it slide like it's OK is even more crazy. you should have thrown her to the curb for that shit man!!

on a side note the guy who said she isn't ready to settle down yet is 100% right-- my advice is just don't fall in love with this girl and freak out when you guys break up.. this relationship is headed nowhere.

Thats always bullshit, under no circumstance should the use of alcohol or drugs be your excuse for something you know you are going to do. Its just a way of justifying something she already has a predisposition towards.

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

Its just a way of justifying something she already has a predisposition towards.

I've been so drunk that I've passed out on occasion. And I have never lost complete control. Dump her.

Your girlfriend is broken, get a new one.

This is honestly too stupid a problem for me to comment on seriously...I don't think anything we say will help.

quote:Originally posted by XHippie HunterX:

Thats always bullshit, under no circumstance should the use of alcohol or drugs be your excuse for something you know you are going to do. Its just a way of justifying something she already has a predisposition towards.

Exactly. OP, alcohol does not make you cheat. I've been wasted out of my mind, and I've never cheated. You avoid the situation, or tell them no. Alcohol is no excuse for her behavior. You do not want a relationship with this kind of girl. It will not work, and you will feel like shit.

You really should straighten her out: tell her she's full of shit and explain why. You can then dump her when she tells you to fuck off

Or don't talk to her about it at all, and then you can do the really fun thing of making out with tons of girls when you party, and tell her it's ok cause you couldn't control yourself. That would teach her a lesson, and then you could dump her for being a stupid whore. Problem solved!

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

Or don't talk to her about it at all, and then you can do the really fun thing of making out with tons of girls when you party, and tell her it's ok cause you couldn't control yourself. That would teach her a lesson, and then you could dump her for being a stupid whore. Problem solved!

This would be heroic.

Cheating IS inevitable if your girlfriend is a slut, yes.

Eh, fuck.

I know you guys are right. It just kinda fucking sucks

-F☺rd

Her words become your rules.

She has effectively told you that getting drunk and fucking some other girl is fine.

Ask her if shes ok with that, let her know that if she cheats on you its fucking over.

And stand by that, if someone cheats on you they dont really want you despite whatever they might say.

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

The thing is she claims NO responsibility while under the influence, and has recently said that “its likely only a matter of time before something happens”. Meaning her making out with some other random guy or girl.

Now, she says I’m suppose to be okay with it because it wouldn’t be her fault, that she wouldn’t do anything on purpose, and that as a fellow drinker, I “should understand how it is”? Being drunk and all?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IS THIS BITCH FOR REAL!?

Wow. Just... wow.

To be honest, my one and only unfaithful act in my 22 years of life occurred while I was REALLY drunk. Like, black-out, not remember a thing, hungover for 2 days, kinda drunk. I didn't even know I did anything until the next day my friends told me that I briefly made out with this Asian chick.

I felt horrible, and told my girlfriend the next time I saw her. I couldn't live with that being a secret on my conscience at all times.

Alcohol can make people do things they wouldn't normally do. BUT, they should still take responsibility. It's still their fault for getting that drunk in the first place.

What your girl is doing though is straight up fucked up. She's actually trying to shift the blame, BEFORE she even commits any unfaithful acts. NOT GOOD.

quote:Originally posted by DENKDAN:

you should have thrown her to the curb for that shit man!!

on a side note the guy who said she isn't ready to settle down yet is 100% right-- my advice is just don't fall in love with this girl and freak out when you guys break up.. this relationship is headed nowhere.

Fucking spot on.

Dude, that bitch is not your friend, let alone your girlfriend. She's a fucking cunt. She doesn't respect you at all.

Do you respect yourself? Ifd you don't you're a fucking pussy, and if you don't tell this bitch to fuck the fuck off you Dirty Fucking Whore (for real) then you're not worthy of shit.

Sorry man but it's true.

1. She's not a "serious" girlfriend.

2. Nice way to have an "open" relationship.

3. You have the same rights.



enjoy

yeah next time you talk to her tell her that if it's ok for her to get drunk and cheat then the same goes for you and see how she reacts. she'll probably be a hypocritical bitch and say it's not ok, in that case dump her. you have a few choices the way i see it.

1. leave her now

2. go get drunk, cheat on her and justify it with the same stupid excuse she uses.

3.stay with her and watch it fail.

P.S. 2 and 1 could be used in sequence if needed.

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



2. Nice way to have an "open" relationship.



We prettymuch closed it up. I told her that if she ever did cheat on me it was over immediately. She said that sounded like a plan.

Turns out supposedly she was really just worried about being taken advantage of when drunk. I donno.

-F☺rd

Yeah, this is why so many relationships break up at 19 in Canada and at 21 in the US.

Lots of people hold the attitude that anything that goes on while drunk is alright.

Glad things are straighted up with you.

quote:Originally posted by Forgotten:

I've been so drunk that I've passed out on occasion. And I have never lost complete control. Dump her.

QFT, 110%

At no point do you lack the tiny bit of self control to stop something like that from happening (own judgement, no matter how far impaired), or to just say no. Goddamn.

Now i only read the first two short paragraphs. I stopped reading only because i have coe to a conclusion that I would never date a girl like that. Most men are able to tell if a woman who their going out with is the type to cheat or not. Though all men have a problem- WE ARE ATTRACTED to BADASS, HOT, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. It's what makes us human.

Sounds like a fuck-buddy to me...

Or you could just have a polyamorous relationship, then there is more enjoyment in the world, and no one feels shit at the end of a relationship because no one has 'cheated'.

Although you do have to find a girl who doesn't mind you fucking other people which is probably a rarity.

wouldn't be her fault?

if you ask me, it would be her fault, and if she can't restrain herself and remain faithful, whats she gonna be like later on? if that's her attitude she musn't care for faithfulness much...

faithfulness is a HUGE thing for me in relationships



Quote- "no. cheating on me drunk is equally as bad as cheating on me sober. it's your RESPONSIBILITY to AVOID certain situations in which there could be guys that could take advantage of you. these CHOICES have NOTHING to do with alcohol." (Denkdan)

I agree

What's worse than her actually cheating is her saying that she 'probably' will.

She's absolving herself and you're putting up with that shit?

Don't be a wimp, you don't deserve that crap.

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

We prettymuch closed it up. I told her that if she ever did cheat on me it was over immediately. She said that sounded like a plan.

Turns out supposedly she was really just worried about being taken advantage of when drunk. I donno.

-F☺rd



Soo... what? Are you going to take care of her at every party? Is that what she wanted?

You have a bad egg, throw it away.



The 'But I was drunk/high' excuse does not fly with me. Complete bullshit.

When girls drink, they get absolutely SHITFACED. Any girl can cheat on you if they're drunk, ask her if you can go with her to party. If she says no, tell her to fuck off. Seriously man, dont let this dumb bitch with that very bitch attitude break you're heart someday when you find out that half the guys you walk by at school have fucked her at a party while you were at home playing a fucking videogame. My girlfriend used to be like that til she met me and I set things the way it's g onna be or it wont work.. I suggest you do the same or find a girl worth ur time and not everyone elses.

A good example of how shitfaced girls get, I was at a party a lil before Halloween, this girl was completely hammered and this 15 year old boy was fucking her in her sleep. No one knew it was going on except me, I feel bad for not killing the kid but whatever, not my fault the stupid bitch had to drink, and didnt hook up w/ one of my friends instead -_-

[This message has been edited by LucifyRe (edited 11-05-2006).]

Girls like that arent worth it man, lose her even if she is just for sex she's a slut and doesn't have any respect for you or your relationship.

* Alcohol is no excuse for anything, really.

* You shouldn't expect her to change. She will if she feels the need to.

There is a simple conclusion you can draw from these two facts. She is too much of a party girl to settle down with you, however, that doesn't seem to discourage you. So let's analyze the following preposition:

* If she is allowed to cheat on you while drunk, then you should be able to cheat on her as well.

Clearly, this is what a relationship with her should boil down to.

So, you end up with three choices.

#1, you break up, because you want something meaningful or you are a wannabe straight-edger and what not. But fuck that shit.

#2, you put up with that bullshit and be toyed with.

#3 a), you follow the same logic because it's only fair, and once you've found something better, you know what to do.

#3 b)Or you stick with her because having a guaranteed lay and separate one night stands is fun.

[This message has been edited by Local Hero (edited 11-05-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by Ford Prefect:

Okay, so I’ve been with this girl a month, she’s the kind of girl who spends her weekend drinking a partying, which, personally I have little problem with as I often do the same myself.

The thing is she claims NO responsibility while under the influence, and has recently said that “its likely only a matter of time before something happens”. Meaning her making out with some other random guy or girl.

Now, she says I’m suppose to be okay with it because it wouldn’t be her fault, that she wouldn’t do anything on purpose, and that as a fellow drinker, I “should understand how it is”? Being drunk and all?

I think I was being fairly reasonable when I told her I was a little upset and that that really didn’t work for me

Any thoughts, Totse? What am I really suppose to do? Breaking up with her is out of the question, because I’m sure this is something that can be talked through.

(I apologize for the state of my writing, I’m just a little upset...)

Thanks.

-F☺rd

Open relationship? That way you can both be cool with it? Sleep around as much as you like.. relationship isn't that serious.

With a party girl that's probably the best you're going to get. Don't expect any serious commitment.