[spill guts]

So, &T, you're the first I'm telling about this girl I met.

I posted an ad on CraigsList and got ONE reply. We started talking and she seemed really nice. She was nicer to me than anyone has ever been. The first night we talked on msn, she made me melt inside.

Then, she told me something that felt like a kick in the nuts: She's... in a wheelchair.

She suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy... which basically means that she has really weak muscles and needs help with everything.

The thing is, I've only known here for a week but we've opened up to each other more than anybody else in either of our lives. We totally understand each other... it's so amazing! We are both virgins _by choice_ and were both waiting for the right person. Well, I think we've both found the right person We've already thought so far ahead it's unbelievable!

Her personality more than makes up for her disability. She lives a few KMs (more like 50-60kms) away so I haven't even seen her in person yet. I can't wait for that day. Her voice is soooo beautiful it makes me melt.

The reason I didn't pick-up some "normal chick" is because I'm *very* shy and akward around girls. I'm not the handsomest guy, but I'm not terribly hideous either. I just didn't want some one-night-stand girl to bang... or some girlfriend to call for a fuck whenever I feel like it. I want a long-term relationship and I think I may have found the right girl! I've been nothing but happy since I met her.

I almost want to tell her that I love her, but I haven't even seen her in person yet.

[/spilling my guts]



[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 11-02-2006).]

Have you seen any pics of her yet?

peace,

That's really cute.

quote:Originally posted by neato bandito:

That's really cute.

The meaning of this can be entirely different from the way I am interpreting it as, but...

owned

i'm confounded, rendered speechless.

*shudders*

That shit is bannanas.

quote:Originally posted by Nikkuh:

Have you seen any pics of her yet?

peace,

Yes, I have... but I'm not sharing them with Totse because I know they'll get plastered all over SG. Since she's not "smoking hot", all the little 12-year olds there would bash the pics to hell.

I honsetly don't care about appearance that much. She's not disfigured or anything... It's just that she's weak.

Congrats man. Not many people would give a disabled person a chance.

Props for you.

quote:Originally posted by blackcat:

Congrats man. Not many people would give a disabled person a chance.

Props for you.

QFT.

i truly admire your seemingly complete lack of any kind of shallowness.

quote:Originally posted by Fellatio!:

i truly admire your seemingly complete lack of any kind of shallowness.

ya, this post suprised the shit out of me. especially on totse.

This seems bound to end badly. Not because she's in a wheelchair, but because you haven't even met her, and you come across as clingy as hell.

Yeah, I'm sure she's a virgin "by choice"



I bet she's sucked more dicks than Paris Hilton.

Wheelchairs introduce all kinds of great sex possibilities. A few of the more popular ones are:

The back and forth

The Wheely

The front brake

The back brake

Around the world

The vinyl sider

Down the hill

Push Me-Pull You

quote:Originally posted by Andreas:

That shit is bannanas.

You can seriously misspell that even after hearing the song that goes "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"?

Oh well. Anyway! Nice work, OP. This could win. Relationships with disabled people can always be dangerous, however, as they tend to end up imbalanced.

i'm going to predict co-dependency.

I can see why this would be viewed as imbalanced... but I honestly care about her personality more than anything. I'm a bit of a quiet, sucluded guy(i've been picked on a lot... lost trust in people) so I was looking for someone to actually care for once. And, yes, I guess I do come off as clingy, but she is the same way. It's so weird that we like each other so much after only a week of talking.

Yeah, I guess you've got a point about her not being a virgin by choice... but it's not like she can't move at all... I mean, she could've had sex if she wanted to already, but she tells me that guys have been pretty cruel to her.

I know it'll be a tough thing to get used to once I actually see her in person, but I have a good feeling it'll work out.

I'm surprised at all the positive responses here... I thought I would get flamed for "sexing a cripple chick" or some other shallow shit like that.

btw, yes, I actually am like this... I'm not putting on a show for her :P I'm gonna have to tell my mom sometime soon too (No, I don't live with my parents)... it'll be a little akward.

[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 10-31-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm going to predict co-dependency.

is that a good thing or a bad thing?

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

is that a good thing or a bad thing?



it depends on your perspective. but i'm just being cynical. rock on!

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

We are both virgins _by choice_ and were both waiting for the right person.



...that was sarcasm? I couldn't tell.

Because she's like...in a wheelchair and stuff. I don't think it's 'by choice'.

Just a quick reminder...

YOU HAVENT FUCKING MET HER YET

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

...that was sarcasm? I couldn't tell.

Because she's like...in a wheelchair and stuff. I don't think it's 'by choice'.

pwned.

quote:Originally posted by rabbitweed:

Just a quick reminder...

YOU HAVENT FUCKING MET HER YET

True, true, true...

I wasn't trying to pwn him. It's just the truth.

I used to be a nerd, and I'd spew this bullshit like "I could lose my virginity, I just choose not to"

I hear it soooo much.

Dude, you have opened up/gotten close to her more than any one, and you've known her a week...and it's been over the net.

I doubt you have much female contact.

Now to the helpful advice:

You don't love her. Don't say it. You'll feel like a dick later.

quote:Originally posted by arquin:

I wasn't trying to pwn him. It's just the truth.

I used to be a nerd, and I'd spew this bullshit like "I could lose my virginity, I just choose not to"

I hear it soooo much.

Dude, you have opened up/gotten close to her more than any one, and you've known her a week...and it's been over the net.

I doubt you have much female contact.

Now to the helpful advice:

You don't love her. Don't say it. You'll feel like a dick later.

Believe me... if I wanted to get laid, I could've. I spent 5 years at a Surrey high school which was full of sluts. Practically anyone could get laid there. And I'm not going to say I love her until we meet and I know for sure.

The reason I like her so much is that when she first told me of her condition, I was like "fuck no!" and I wrote her a long email on why it couldn't work. I spewed my guts on all the things wrong with me so she wouldn't feel so bad... social/mental problems and stuff. And, to my surprise, she was completely understanding. If I was to tell some girl I met at a bar the same thing, she'd be like "ummm, O K... it was nice meeting you... get away from me now." I mean, she's the only person who's ever given a fuck about me. I never fit in when I was at school... I never wanted to. Why the fuck should I wear designer clothes or whatever just to impress someone based on my appearance?

I didn't want to be judged from the outside... but most people were too shallow to get to know me.

[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 10-31-2006).]

Well, I've always said shallowness is the most common disablity, so nice one dude.

But yeah, I can see both sides of the story. I'm not here to judge.

I can see far more merit and goodness from this than bad. Just not something I would personally like to do.

Alright, when was the last time you exposed yourself in that way to another girl?

It's cute and hopeful that you share these feelings, but it is early.

Co-dependency definitly seems to be in your future if you walk into this thing. This may not be a bad thing for you, but dependency defies growth.

Edit: What would you think if someone told you the same story you're putting to us?

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 10-31-2006).]

I truly like you, you are not stuck up on appearances, the mind maketh the man (or in this case the woman). Plus just because there disabled does nto mean there not attractive. Though obviously taking advantadge and marrying and sexing women in coma's is wrong...

quote:Originally posted by Euda:

Alright, when was the last time you exposed yourself in that way to another girl?...

*dons a fireman's suit*

Never. Girls don't tend to have much interest in shy and weird guys. And it's hard to open up so much without friends knowing. If my (few) friends knew I was really like this... not shallow and not a fuckin' rough & tough asshole, they'd probably make fun of me for being sensitive and whatnot. This doesn't mean I'm a pussy though...

Co-dependancy is actually what I'm looking for. I've never had anyone to depend on... although people have depended on me on several occasions. Really, all I want is to make someone happy.

I actually have had a relationship with a girl in a wheelchair, a gorgeous girl who was rendered paralyzed from a car accident when she was 14.

I had known her in school for a couple of years, and I was tired of banging all the easy and popular girls, and I started talking to her some more and we hooked up and maintained a serious relationship for a year.

Sex was awkward and usually unfulfilling for me, but she would cum for me pretty easily. I had to end it though, helping her out with every little thing such as getting dressed and rolling her around everywhere burned me out, though we still maintain a friendship.

How can a girl with a spinal injury possibly enjoy sex? I mean, wouldn't she technically be unable to feel anything?

its not a spinal injury, its just the muscles arent strong enough to support her.



congratz for you dude. nice to see that your not shallow at all but dont get too clingy as you havent met her in person yet. let us know how it goes when you do

quote:Originally posted by Chinese Food52:

QFT.

quote:Originally posted by pianoSpleen:

You can seriously misspell that even after hearing the song that goes "B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"?

Oh well. Anyway! Nice work, OP. This could win. Relationships with disabled people can always be dangerous, however, as they tend to end up imbalanced.

=(

buy her some weights.

good for you, man. whenever you meet in person, i hope all goes well.

She has Spinal Muscular Atrophy... which means the nerve cells in her spine were made in a mutated manner. She has full feeling... everywhere It's just that her muscles are weak. That could be a plus though, since I have to do a lot of the work... like wrapping her legs around me It wasn't an injury, btw, she was born with it. And since she has it, she is NOT a carrier of it.

When she described how people teased her in school, I... actually, um, cried. And I made her promise me to never tell me who did that to her.... or there would be dire consequences, and I'd end up in jail.

[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 11-02-2006).]

Take advantage of her and never come back. Its the craigslist personal ad's way.

this story makes me really want to believe in stuff like this. and love. and all that.

i can't say much.

so i'll just say good luck.

quote:Originally posted by blankooie:

Take advantage of her and never come back. Its the craigslist personal ad's way.

> She's had that happen before. This was my first time posting on CL. It's sad that people actually do that shit.

quote:Originally posted by Fellatio!:

i truly admire your seemingly complete lack of any kind of shallowness.



QFT.

All you complementing my lack of shallowness really makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Why can't more people be not shallow?

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

All you complementing my lack of shallowness really makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Why can't more people be not shallow?

because then humanity might become *gasp* humane once more. and that just couldn't happen.

quote:Originally posted by RogueEagle91:

because then humanity might become *gasp* humane once more. and that just couldn't happen.

Once more?

What if she was looking for a quick fuck?

Good for you really, everyone deserves a love, both you AND her. Thank god for her mostly. I can't imagine how hard it is to have a serious relationship (or even finding one) when you are in a wheelchair?

And fucking retarded people say that the internet is useless.



BUT i've got to say something... "Virgins _by choice_..." Doesn't seem like it... She's in a wheelchair, knowing this society, it's hard to fucking get laid if you're in a wheel chair, and you look for girls on the internet... so that's saying something too.

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

All you complementing my lack of shallowness really makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Why can't more people be not shallow?



this quote, in my mind at least, is evidence that your attraction to her has more to do with your own ego than her personal qualities or an amazing connection you two share.

I've never been complemented like this before. And... ego? If I had an ego, I would have more confidence and would've met a girl long before this, no?

Yeah, it's true that she would have a tough time getting laid, but I mean she could've whored herself I guess. And I used to be kinda depressed about being a virgin, but then sometime, I changed. Like I said, I went to school in Surrey... have you heard of Surrey girls?? Slutty as fuck. Even this really ugly ass motherfucker I knew got laid. It was little hard to find someone with a mature and caring personality when they all dressed like whores and partied all the time.

I'm not very good with words, I never have been. I mean, like realllly quiet. I tend to convey feelings and whatnot a lot better through direct contact... it's hard to explain. For example, when I go visit my mom, I am rarely empty-handed. I almost always have one of my two cats, or my 2 month old nephew in my arms... just because they don't give a fuck about what I look like or how I act and stuff. They're content just being held and cared about.

Oh, and I decided to look for a girl on the internet becauseI wanted to blindly get to know someone. That, and I get nervous talking to someone in person.

[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 11-02-2006).]

your intentions are very good and pure. i don't doubt that.

even so, i do have doubts about where this is going. i see resentment, frustration, guilt, and sadness in the future.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

your intentions are very good and pure. i don't doubt that.

even so, i do have doubts about where this is going. i see resentment, frustration, guilt, and sadness in the future.

I can understand the resentment and frustration. I'm definitely not saying it won't take some getting used to. Guilt? Explain why. Sadness... how could I possibly be sad if this was to work out? Keep in mind that I don't do much as it is. Other than full-time work, I sit at home, post on totse, listen to music, ride my bike every now and then, play vidya games, and (try to) play my organ. I don't go out a heck of a lot... yeah, say it, I am a loner, and I always have been. I was born chill... and not in a good way. So, having a girlfriend in a wheelchair wouldn't really eat into my free time. And think of the great shape it'd put me in.

[This message has been edited by aj2004 (edited 11-02-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

I can understand the resentment and frustration. I'm definitely not saying it won't take some getting used to. Guilt? Explain why. Sadness... how could I possibly be sad if this was to work out? Keep in mind that I don't do much as it is. Other than full-time work, I sit at home, post on totse, listen to music, ride my bike every now and then, play vidya games, and (try to) play my organ. I don't go out a heck of a lot... yeah, say it, I am a loner, and I always have been. I was born chill... and not in a good way. So, having a girlfriend in a wheelchair wouldn't really eat into my free time. And think of the great shape it'd put me in.



exactly, dude, exactly. honestly, don't even listen to me. go at it with a pure heart and see what comes. i hope i'm wrong.

You (most of you) really do have a very valid point in saying that I shouldn't get so extremely attached to someone I haven't even met in person. I fully realize that there's always a chance, if even just a slight one, that this won't work out... that goes for any relationship. It's just that no one has ever put aside my problems and flaws and cared about me for who I am inside.

Oh, and just to be clear, I wouldn't be taking care of her 24/7 as I do have to bring in money. She does have a wonderful caretaker and she sounds like an amazing friend. She also has her mother, who sounds like such an amazing woman as well, to help her.

Go for it bro. If you dont, you will just wind up regreting it in the future.

I'm heading over to Van Isle on the long (remembrance day) weekend. I'ma be nervous as fuck. Even more nervous than when I tell my mom this weekend.

quote:Originally posted by lauren7249:

i'm confounded, rendered speechless.

shut up you shallow bitch.

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

shut up you shallow bitch.



*smacks jvm222 on the head*

One thing she is not....is that!!!!

quote:Originally posted by oc6:



*smacks jvm222 on the head*

One thing she is not....is that!!!!

i was kidding. I know lauren. Some what personally.

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

i was kidding. I know lauren. Some what personally.



Oh...okay...inside joke I take it...

*wipes egg off face*

quote:Originally posted by jvm222:

i was kidding. I know lauren. Some what personally.



thanks to oc6 though.

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

[spill guts]

So, &T, you're the first I'm telling about this girl I met.

I posted an ad on CraigsList and got ONE reply. We started talking and she seemed really nice. She was nicer to me than anyone has ever been. The first night we talked on msn, she made me melt inside.

Then, she told me something that felt like a kick in the nuts: She's... in a wheelchair.

She suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy... which basically means that she has really weak muscles and needs help with everything.

The thing is, I've only known here for a week but we've opened up to each other more than anybody else in either of our lives. We totally understand each other... it's so amazing! We are both virgins _by choice_ and were both waiting for the right person. Well, I think we've both found the right person We've already thought so far ahead it's unbelievable!

Her personality more than makes up for her disability. She lives a few KMs (more like 50-60kms) away so I haven't even seen her in person yet. I can't wait for that day. Her voice is soooo beautiful it makes me melt.

The reason I didn't pick-up some "normal chick" is because I'm *very* shy and akward around girls. I'm not the handsomest guy, but I'm not terribly hideous either. I just didn't want some one-night-stand girl to bang... or some girlfriend to call for a fuck whenever I feel like it. I want a long-term relationship and I think I may have found the right girl! I've been nothing but happy since I met her.

I almost want to tell her that I love her, but I haven't even seen her in person yet.

[/spilling my guts]



Thank you. I only state this because you are brave enough, you have the fucking Balls to go off to totse and state this, not caring about what others think, even if you are behinde a computer screen. Congrats, and if you really like this woman, then go for it; i say this because we all dont meet the women of our dreams that match us perfectly. Go for it.

You are a better person than me but you probably will lose all this "i love you" feelings when you see her in that chair and shes missing numerous body parts. but if you really like her then go for it

quote:Originally posted by NiGhT PrOwLeR:

You are a better person than me but you probably will lose all this "i love you" feelings when you see her in that chair and shes missing numerous body parts. but if you really like her then go for it



How old are you... 12? Being in a wheelchair doesn't fucking mean you're an amputee, man. She looks physically normal, apart from the obvious being in a wheelchair. All her parts are there... yeah, and in the right places too.

Saying she's missing body parts is as ignorant as saying somebody who has athsma has three legs and 20 fingers.

quote:Originally posted by aj2004:

How old are you... 12? Being in a wheelchair doesn't fucking mean you're an amputee, man. She looks physically normal, apart from the obvious being in a wheelchair. All her parts are there... yeah, and in the right places too.

Saying she's missing body parts is as ignorant as saying somebody who has athsma has three legs and 20 fingers.

Okay then as long as all the body parts are accounted for then go for it and see what happens, but dont you think it will be a bit awkward?

quote:Originally posted by NiGhT PrOwLeR:

Okay then as long as all the body parts are accounted for then go for it and see what happens, but dont you think it will be a bit awkward?

Yes. I am sure it will be at first. I have seen pictures of her, so I know what to expect, but it will still be a little nerve-racking at first. I have a very strong feeling that once I give her a hug, the akwardness will magically disappear.