There's a new girl that I met.

She has her shit together (change of pace from every other girl I've dated) and is just amazingly sweet. She genuinely cares about other people, the world around her, but also enjoys a good time and isn't opposed to any expirimentation.

Another side note: She's a complete sexually inexpirianced person... never even made out with a guy :-/?? Not saying it's bad, but I've had a lot of expiriance in my day, and don't want to let any expectations she might have down... you know?

My issue: For the first time ever, I've have found myself to be social inept around another person, and can't seem to shake myself out of this daze that I'm in. Any suggestions? Should I just fuck my hesitation and ask her out (I know she'd say yes)? Should I let more of a friendship develop?? And last but not least... how the fuck do I regain my confidence??

she sounds glorious. ask her out.

about the social ineptitude, i have experienced what you're talking about. you just have to really work on it. use your imagination. imagine all the flaws she could have (and probably does) behind closed doors. imagine her prepping herself for a party or social gathering, putting on her social "mask." imagine her having a fight with her parents. whatever you can do to conjure in your head visions of her possible insecurites, do. then think of how you might appear to other people. they probably think you're pretty confident. she might too. be that confident person that everyone else sees.



[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 10-30-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

There's a new girl that I met.

She has her shit together (change of pace from every other girl I've dated) and is just amazingly sweet. She genuinely cares about other people, the world around her, but also enjoys a good time and isn't opposed to any expirimentation.

Another side note: She's a complete sexually inexpirianced person... never even made out with a guy :-/?? Not saying it's bad, but I've had a lot of expiriance in my day, and don't want to let any expectations she might have down... you know?

My issue: For the first time ever, I've have found myself to be social inept around another person, and can't seem to shake myself out of this daze that I'm in. Any suggestions? Should I just fuck my hesitation and ask her out (I know she'd say yes)? Should I let more of a friendship develop?? And last but not least... how the fuck do I regain my confidence??

You're idealizing her too much. That's why you're losing your confidence. You feel like you may not be good enough for her before you've even gotten to know her. Don't ever do that. Talk to her, ask her if she's free on a weekend, and tell her you'd like to take her to dinner/ice cream/coffee and then just talk. It's casual, no pressure. If you come off as confident and laid-back, you won't get turned down. Girls want company as much as we do, so just be a good guy to her, and you'll be fine. It's just a date!! Remember that. It's just a chance to be social, nothing more. It's not an invitation to fuck her, so quit thinking about sex. That's not in the picture. Focus on her and not her body. You're attracted? Good. Forget her looks, and focus on her personality. Attraction is a prerequisite, personality is what wins the game.

Don't wait, just ask her out already. You'll be glad you did.

Here's an idea. It goes for any girl, but especially this one, as sometimes girls become attached to their first sexual partner.

Try to avoid lying to her.

Seriously. It's not that hard. And if you must, make sure there's no way she'll find out later.

Also, when you get bored of her, give her the *real* reason you broke up with her. Not some bullshit sob story like "oh I have family issues, not enough energy to date anybody."

We really do see right through that. And when she asks you if it's true, so she can get over it, tell the truth. Or maybe, tell her in advance that you might get bored, so she doesn't turn down a GREAT opportunity that could have been a very fun trip to OU.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Here's an idea. It goes for any girl, but especially this one, as sometimes girls become attached to their first sexual partner.

Try to avoid lying to her.

Seriously. It's not that hard. And if you must, make sure there's no way she'll find out later.

Also, when you get bored of her, give her the *real* reason you broke up with her. Not some bullshit sob story like "oh I have family issues, not enough energy to date anybody."

We really do see right through that. And when she asks you if it's true, so she can get over it, tell the truth. Or maybe, tell her in advance that you might get bored, so she doesn't turn down a GREAT opportunity that could have been a very fun trip to OU.

Holy Bitterness, Batman!

how old is the poster? I mean seriously, this sounds like a story I heard before. And I talked to other members of beltway, and how is that "recording" going?

Peace. Hope you got the message.

quote:Originally posted by UnforgiVen3:

Holy Bitterness, Batman!

Not exactly. Well, a little bit. I may have missed out on something and that's too bad.

But it's mostly stuff that I occasionally think about but haven't had the chance to say. To like, anybody. Because sometimes people misjudge others, and to some of my friends he's just a fucking saint.

*shrugs* I had to get it out somewhere.

quote:Originally posted by QueenOfHearts:

how old is the poster? I mean seriously, this sounds like a story I heard before. And I talked to other members of beltway, and how is that "recording" going?

Peace. Hope you got the message.

And who might you be?

The Internet: Everybody's Psychiatrist.

quote:Originally posted by UnforgiVen3:

Holy Bitterness, Batman!

Tell me about it!

quote:Originally posted by QueenOfHearts:

how old is the poster? I mean seriously, this sounds like a story I heard before. And I talked to other members of beltway, and how is that "recording" going?

Peace. Hope you got the message.

The recording is going excellently acctually, thank you for asking. (Please ignore the dumbass stories that Bushy (tyler) tells you, he easily mistakes something like... "We're recording at the studios at Capital" for... "We're recording with Capital Records" why? because he's a fucking retard) and doesn't lisen for the fact that I was talkin about my sister and I during that conversation, or the fact that i said Beltway was going to begin ercording soon with John Schwab studios... once again, why?! because he's a fucking retard... wait did i mention, tyler's a fucking retard.

What does my age matter? Feelings of affection and desire are the same for everyone frm the time they hit puberty to the day they die.

And uhhh... I really didn'y get any sort of message. so go suck yourself.



[This message has been edited by noman01 (edited 10-30-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

Here's an idea. It goes for any girl, but especially this one, as sometimes girls become attached to their first sexual partner.

Try to avoid lying to her.

Seriously. It's not that hard. And if you must, make sure there's no way she'll find out later.

Also, when you get bored of her, give her the *real* reason you broke up with her. Not some bullshit sob story like "oh I have family issues, not enough energy to date anybody."

We really do see right through that. And when she asks you if it's true, so she can get over it, tell the truth. Or maybe, tell her in advance that you might get bored, so she doesn't turn down a GREAT opportunity that could have been a very fun trip to OU.

Another note: Did it ever occur to you that you're a fucking psycho?

1. I didn't lie to you

2. I was never stopping you from pursuing your beloved Jack

3. Why don't you get a life and stop harrasing my posts on an internet fourm? If you have an issue, fucking call me, don't be a dumb baby.

4. K thanks, bye.

Hmm.

I like the fact that we have real-life drama on these boards.

In response to the OT? (topic) Well, I don't know, maybe you should haemmorage it. (I didn't read a word of what you typed)

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

3. Why don't you get a life and stop harrasing my posts on an internet fourm? If you have an issue, fucking call me, don't be a dumb baby.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

She has her shit together (change of pace from every other girl I've dated)

I agree she was probably out of line bringing your issues onto totse, but you kind of made a reference to her in your post, so you were asking for it.

In response to the INITIAL post, just go for it. Lauren's right, fake what confidence you don't have. You're a performer, so I can't imagine you being shy.

Sexually, if you're experienced and she's not, she has nothing to compare it to, so you're automatically the best she's been with.

Just remember though, nobody is as perfect as you think they are when you first meet them. Don't get too invested just to find out that how you perceived her was nothing like what she turned out to be. And since she's inexperienced, don't expect too much in that department.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

Another note: Did it ever occur to you that you're a fucking psycho?

1. I didn't lie to you

2. I was never stopping you from pursuing your beloved Jack

3. Why don't you get a life and stop harrasing my posts on an internet fourm? If you have an issue, fucking call me, don't be a dumb baby.

4. K thanks, bye.

I seem to remember contacting you when I had a problem. And the response I got? Quit bitching.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

I seem to remember contacting you when I had a problem. And the response I got? Quit bitching.

I'm sorry but that never happened. So get over it.

Ps. Stop being so god damn bitter man, if you're such a big person, then why don't you fucking drop this. I had my reasons, whcih were 100% honest, and all oyu're doing is making yourself look like a fool.

Pss. In referance to coment of relevance of comments, I don't really recall me asking about if it's okay to lie to her... meaning your big rant was completely off topic, so please, do me a favor and shut the fuck up.

hat like you cant htink what to say and start stuttering. Its always like this with girls you actually realy care for and like, girls you like for more than just there aesthetics. I would have a small drink to calm the nerves, and plan stuff to say the first time so you can come across how you want to and get confident with her.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:



Relax. If it isn't bothering you, just let it lie.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

I'm sorry but that never happened. So get over it.

Ps. Stop being so god damn bitter man, if you're such a big person, then why don't you fucking drop this. I had my reasons, whcih were 100% honest, and all oyu're doing is making yourself look like a fool.

Pss. In referance to coment of relevance of comments, I don't really recall me asking about if it's okay to lie to her... meaning your big rant was completely off topic, so please, do me a favor and shut the fuck up.

And to think I really thought you were a nice person.

It actually did happen. Since you didn't answer the phone, I said something online. I said "I don't care what you're doing, but please don't post it on totse, just because it's the one place where I don't have to deal with people questioning me about you." You said "Don't come whining to me about it, it's a public forum." Yeah, that I showed you. Huge mistake.

Perhaps if you'd answered the phone when I did try to contact you about a problem I had, I wouldn't have to do it here. You have a lot of growing up to do, honey. I won't deny that I do too, but before you can actually start to mature you're going to have to realize that.

Just think dude, you're getting all frazzled over some broad that shits. Cereal dude. Chill.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

And to think I really thought you were a nice person.

It actually did happen. Since you didn't answer the phone, I said something online. I said "I don't care what you're doing, but please don't post it on totse, just because it's the one place where I don't have to deal with people questioning me about you." You said "Don't come whining to me about it, it's a public forum." Yeah, that I showed you. Huge mistake.

Perhaps if you'd answered the phone when I did try to contact you about a problem I had, I wouldn't have to do it here. You have a lot of growing up to do, honey. I won't deny that I do too, but before you can actually start to mature you're going to have to realize that.

prehaps if you could have taken my "I need some space for a bit" comment seriously and given me the couple days I needed, to deal with my grandmother's death... then maybe it wouldn't have been a problem. But you had to go straight into what you thought was most important, when I amde it a huge point to show you that there were way, way, way more important things I had going on, and had to deal with at that point in time. But oh well... I guess you're more important than my dead grandmother.

Whatever dude.

you fuckin idiot, ask her out, dont hesitate. jesus, i'd kill you if you didnt ask her out. yes im desperate, but i use a lot of other women to get over the ones i want. bad i know but avoid my road man.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:



To be fair, I wasn't aware your grandma died until Jessica told me.

The only thing you told me was that there were "impending deaths in the family." I'm sorry I came off as insensitive, and if I'd have known I wouldn't have bothered you.

Really though... this is so pointless, we're arguing over something we're both over, so I'm sorry for being catty over totse. Good day.

quote:Originally posted by firekitty751:

To be fair, I wasn't aware your grandma died until Jessica told me.

The only thing you told me was that there were "impending deaths in the family." I'm sorry I came off as insensitive, and if I'd have known I wouldn't have bothered you.

Really though... this is so pointless, we're arguing over something we're both over, so I'm sorry for being catty over totse. Good day.

accepted... same here.

truce? truse? truice? tuss? truss? trouse? you know the word I'm looking for.

quote:Originally posted by noman01:

accepted... same here.

truce? truse? truice? tuss? truss? trouse? you know the word I'm looking for.



You had it right the first time.