So I talked to my ex-girlfriend the other night after not seeing her for about a month. We had been broken up for a while but still hung out, but I told her we needed to not see each other for a few weeks so I could kind of get myself together. She was fairly obsessive and "controlling" (as in, trying to control me) while we were together (and even to an extent after) so I figured I needed a couple of weeks totally without her to put things into perspective.

During our conversation, the subject of sex came up, and she said she had had sex with three guys since I had last seen her. This is a girl who hated the idea of casual sex for as long as I've known her. She also said that she dropped out of school and drinks all the time. Basically, she pulled a one-eighty. All this made me feel angry, jealous, and concerned for her. Not saying all of those feelings are justified, she can do whatever the fuck she pleases, but that's how I feel anyway.

Then she wanted to have sex with me and I was like "fuck no" and she starts going on about how much she loves me and that when she was having sex with those other guys she was thinking of me and blah blah blah. She was a little drunk so I let her sleep on the foldout bed, and she kept pushing for it subtly the whole fucking night (like saying "I only sleep naked now" and proceeding to undress). But there was no way I was gonna fuck her after all those fuckers, so I didn't.

I believe her about the sex and all that, but I think telling me all about it, and continually bringing up the names of guys she's slept with, is her way of tring to make me jealous. It's weird, she's like a totally different person... it's like she's exchanged one kind of crazy for another.

I haven't wanted to eat or do much of anything since then, the whole thing made me sick to my stomach. I kind of want to cut off contact with her again because I know it's going to fuck me up, but it's like in a sick way I feel hopeful that things might work out since she's not obsessed with me anymore. Part of me fucking hates he, part of me still loves her, and part of me wants to help her.

I guess I'm just looking for some outside insight into the situation.

you know the part that hates her? that's the logical part. maybe not necessarily hate, but you need to cut her loose because i can tell you right now she's just playing games.

plus, you don't want teh gonnorhea.

You're doing the right thing, you just need to keep doing it. She's realized what she's missing out on, and all of a sudden she's trying to get it back. Just keep thinking with your brain, and not with your dick, and you should be fine. It takes balls to say no to a woman who wants to fuck you, especially one you used to care about.

My ex girlfriend messaged me last night. She wanted me to come see her, at a bar, where she was drunk, while her boyfriend was out of town.

I don't know her anymore and I never did.

I didn't go.

She *IS* your ex for a reason.

I dont know what the fuck it is with Ex's and random fucked up behaiviour.

I got a text from my ex asking if we could be 'friends'.



I dunno, she sounds really fucking horrible, fucking all those guys and then trying to fuck you. That sounds whorish and nasty, for the simple fact it sounds like she did it just to make you jealous. Promiscuity is ok if you do it for fun, but doing it just to hurt someone else is fucking evil.



I'd really really advise staying away from her. I know it's hard and I understand that hopefull feeling of maybe getting back with her, but trust me, that feeling is evil and must be killed. It's the tiny part of you that fears being alone screaming.

But really, being alone is better than being with someone who hurt you and hurts you and probably will hurt you again.

Man, I wouldn't touch that with a 20 foot pole.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

She *IS* your ex for a reason.

I dont know what the fuck it is with Ex's and random fucked up behaiviour.

I got a text from my ex asking if we could be 'friends'.



I dunno, she sounds really fucking horrible, fucking all those guys and then trying to fuck you. That sounds whorish and nasty, for the simple fact it sounds like she did it just to make you jealous. Promiscuity is ok if you do it for fun, but doing it just to hurt someone else is fucking evil.



I'd really really advise staying away from her. I know it's hard and I understand that hopefull feeling of maybe getting back with her, but trust me, that feeling is evil and must be killed. It's the tiny part of you that fears being alone screaming.

But really, being alone is better than being with someone who hurt you and hurts you and probably will hurt you again.



Quoted for fucking truth.

Fucking shit man, why do all exes continue to break your heart over and over, even after you thought you stopped it? Fuck women, fuck.

I doubt that she did anything just to make you jealous. Sleeping with those guys could have been her attempt to erase her bodily memory of you. That does make sense to me.

Maybe, she felt the need to confess to try to set things right in her own mind.

She's really screwed up right now, so be very careful. You did the right thing, imo.



[This message has been edited by oc6 (edited 10-29-2006).]

You could just use her for the pussy and then ditch her ass after a while to get back at her.

If front door give scare?

Man, remember...

Back door is there!

Yeah, I don't think she's doing this to hurt me. I just think she's being really dumb. I guess I'm just surprised at the direction she went when left to her own devices. When we were together, there really wasn't much to speak of as far as seperate lives goes... we did everything together and were so close we couldn't see each other anymore.

Just the fact that she's choosing this identity of stupidity really bothers me. I actually heard her answer the phone with "Hey bitch" the other day. If she had come up with that on her own it would have been fine, but it looks like she's just taking all these little personality traits (and values) from the people around her and that just pisses me off.

Anyway, I'll be fine with not fucking her. The mental images and fear of an std are enough to keep me from doing it.

Do you think...'If you don't stand for 'something'...you'll fall for anything.' Applies here at all?

Or as some say...'To believe everything is too much! To believe nothing is too little!'

Maybe she's been listening to too many other girls? A lot of them seem to like to say, 'You can do anything you want! Whatever you like!'?

Well, I guess maybe you can? Expecting other folks to appreciate & applaud your choices is a bit much to ask though. Ask her why you should congratulate her for being a shitty asshole?

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Do you think...'If you don't stand for 'something'...you'll fall for anything.' Applies here at all?

Or as some say...'To believe everything is too much! To believe nothing is too little!'

Maybe she's been listening to too many other girls? A lot of them seem to like to say, 'You can do anything you want! Whatever you like!'?

Well, I guess maybe you can? Expecting other folks to appreciate & applaud your choices is a bit much to ask though. Ask her why you should congratulate her for being a shitty asshole?

It kinda did seem like she was looking for some kind of approval from me, if that's what you're saying. After some stupid drinking story she told me, I told her it was very "impressive" and she got really pissed. She vomitted all sorts of such stories the whole night.

If she was controlling before, it sounds like she is just manipulating you now. Whether or not she actually did those things she's either doing them or lying about doing them to gain your attention. If you ignore her for long enough she will eventually go away, but she sounds like a bitch so she might end up with your bestfriend or something.

Yeah I went out with this girl, she was so sweet, her lack of confidence and good nature was so sweet. Both me and her thought it was kinda lame to dance. We thought senseless sexual acts were pointless, and we hated this poser. I could'nt keep her, I wasnt good enough and she cahnged completely after she went out with me and I havent seen the same person in her since...

quote:Originally posted by indiate-r:

But there was no way I was gonna fuck her after all those fuckers, so I didn't.

I haven't wanted to eat or do much of anything since then, the whole thing made me sick to my stomach. I kind of want to cut off contact with her again because I know it's going to fuck me up, but it's like in a sick way I feel hopeful that things might work out since she's not obsessed with me anymore. Part of me fucking hates he, part of me still loves her, and part of me wants to help her.

I guess I'm just looking for some outside insight into the situation.

Atta boy, to the first bit there. Stand up now more than ever, she's trying to manipulate again, it's who she is.

As has been said, logical part wants to cut off contact, and you should definetly listen to this part, you'll get nowhere but hurting yourself by trying to 'help' someone who doesn't want it. You love the way she was, not the way she is now, don't get that mixed up, for your own sake.