As the title implies, my girlfriend is very ungrateful.

Her car has been dead since I've known her and I dicided o help her out with it. So about 2 months ago I got it to my house and started rebuilding the engine.

This is really no big deal for me because it's what I do. The only thing is that I've had some setbacks. For the first month or so I couldn't really do much due to work/other stuff I had to take care of. Finally I started to get to work on it and the engine was alot worse than I thought possable. The person who had it before just romped on it. So with every step forward in progress, I take a step back when I find something else that's wrong.

Last night I found out that the valve guides in her heads are completely frozen and in the process of trying to free them, part of the casting broke (no biggie, can weld it back). But the guide is still stuck meaning I either have to have a machine shop pop them out or buy new heads.

So to cut to the chase, she's pissed off at me. Like, really pissed off at me! Why? because I'm taking too long. She keeps saying that if I can't do it I shouldn't have said I could. But the fact is that I can. She brings up the fact that I said I would have it done a month ago, but back then I explained all the problems I'm encountering and that I don't want to rush it and fuck it up. She was fine with it and understood what was going on and wasn't mad. But now she brings that up and is angery. Then she basicly says that I should spend oll of my time on her car; which really pisses me off.

On top off all of this, she has to order some parts before I can finish and she hasn't done even that much. So even if I had the engine all put together, she still wouldn't have a car because she won't put the tiny bit of effort to order a couple parts online.

Now she's acting all stressed out about it because she doesn't have the money yet she's paying 150 to get a tattoo (not the whole thing, just outlines). So this tells me that her car isn't very high on her priority list, but she thinks it should be on mine.

She bitches about how terrable it is to not have a vehicle yet the past month I'v basicly given her my truck to drive.

She also keeps saying that if she knew it would take this long for me to do, then she would have taken it to the shop and paid to have it done, yet she's been stressing about making her phone payments everymonth (like 140) and a shop would charge over 3000!

I dunno what to do. I love her and I'd like to not dump her over a stupid car, but she's been treating me like this and I just can't take it. To me, if somebody is doing you a favor you don't give them shit about it. Am I wrong to think this?

Advice to keep our relationship going and her off my back?

MM

You love an immature, ungreatful, inconsiderate bitch?

Your loss, mate.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

You love an immature, ungreatful, inconsiderate bitch?

Your loss, mate.

Yeah... she's not like this all the time. It's like a fight she starts every 6 days or so. :/

Aside from this, she's perfect.

Well, you better take a stand mate, because you're in the right here. Girlfriend or not, you can't just let her walk all over you like that.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Well, you better take a stand mate, because you're in the right here. Girlfriend or not, you can't just let her walk all over you like that.

That's the wierd thing, I always make a stand and I know I get through to her and then a few hours later she says don't worry about it etc. but never really appologises or says she was wrong which makes me think that she's only "making up" so we won't be arguing.

We went through this a few hours ago so I'll post what happens, but I still would like input.

MM

Give up working on her car. Tell her she has 24 hours to get it off your property before you get it towed.

That'll show her. Cow.

Goddamnit that's really...realy fucking disgusting.

I'm a girl, and even I know that you do not treat your boyfriend like your own personal fucking car mechanic!.



Fuck it. If she's bitching at you for you doing her a favour, give the car back, and let her get fucked over by the shop.

It's clearly what she wants, afterall..



BTW, guys who know their way round cars are hot.

Relationships suck, and really I wish I wouldn't of wasted those couple years of my life in a relationship...All the things I could have done, and STILL....Females are a whole nother fuckin story.

I didn't really read much the post, but your girl got the upper hand on this one. Put the fear of god into her, and manipulate...The fucked up way, but heyyyy.



[This message has been edited by playboy311 (edited 10-27-2006).]

So even though I said it'd be done a while ago, y'all think she's being f'ed up? I just want to make sure that I'm not just being opinionated.

Why exactly is she pissed off? That's the question.

Okay so you're running late. You have a million freaking good excuses: you simply can't fix all those problems in time, and it's far worse than you first thought.

She has transportation: you let her use your truck.

Since you are her boyfriend, she should be trusting you that you're doing the best job possible. I don't think she is.

I'm behind you man, and I think most people here will be.

Ask her if she's wack?!

Like seriously nuts but has learned to cover pretty good with the hair/makeup/clothes? Are you two planning on the reproduction...?

*Note: I'm heavilly medicated so this will prolly be a rant*

I've come to the conclusion that she is just plain selfish. Right from the get go it's been about her. I've really gotten not much from our relationship.

Even in bed. I'll make her cum 2-3 times, and then she just says she's tired and wants to go to sleep. Of all the times we've had sex, I've only came maybe 4-5 times.

Last night was her first selfless sex act. I was sleeping at her house and she randomly grabbed my dick and started giving me a handjob. BUT; when I came, she was mad because I got a little bit on one of her blankets. Hell, all of my blankets have stains from her cumming. Argh!!!

The one thing I can say is that she's faithful. That is a hard thing to find these days.

And it kills me because we're so perfect for eachother. A couple of hippies. When things are good, they're really good. And this constitutes the majority of our union. But fuck if she isn't a bitch sometimes.

I hate having to weigh the good and the bad. I'm to objective for this sort of shit.

Well, meds are hitting hard. I'll catch y'all on the flip side.

MM

In a relationship.. There will always be times when you are taken for granted and unappreciated. The words "Thank-you" seem to be unknown in your parter's vocabulary and it always feels like your giving more than they are or would even dream of. But then you have to remember the reasons why you do love your partner.. Wait for a moment of peace (no bitching) and bring up the fact that you feel unappreciated. While it may start shit, your feelings need to be known. I'm beginning to ramble because I myself would like to be appreciated.

Muffin Man, just so you know, your 'heavily medicated' post was actually very logical and well-thought-out.

ARGH!!

Too frustrated to sleep.

I called her a few min ago just to say goodnight and whatnot. She didn't pick up so I left a vm. got a call back and she was mad that I called her. Said that if she wanted to talk to me, that she'd call me. Her reasoning for this is that she said she'd call me later (this was at 7pm, it is now 1:20am)

So I'm going to write her an e-mail since she doesn't want to talk to me. I'll post what I'm gonna say here and see what y'all think of it.

Wow. What a cunt.I'd say you knock the fuck out of her.

Also, thanks everyone for helping me out with this. It's much appreciated.

Wow, this girl is a fucking bitch. "If I want to talk to you I'll call you?" So your wants don't mean shit? This chick is a fucking user.

jesus shes using you in a big way, i say you should dump her or at least stand up for yourself. Letting her walk all over you wont ever make things better, what i think you should do is make her realise your doing her a favour and next time she says your taking to long and she should have paid for it, take the car over to her place and leave the card of a mechanic you know on it. That way she cant yell at you about giving it back because she said your taking to long and you were being nice by giving her a number and everything. I dont know much about cars so i dont know how serious all that stuff is but if somethings fucked up you take your time on it and if your doing a favour for someone you have every right to put your needs ahead of the favour. And the person your doing teh favour for cant be amd about you taking a long time because your the one doing the damn favour. She seems like the classic rich bitch to me, she wants you to do everything for her and everything she wants done is much more important than anything you could even comprehend. i think you should dump her because i dont see how an on again off again relationship like yours could work out in the long run. If you dont want to break up with her then just give her the car back like i said before. i hope all works out

Here's what I have so far for the letter:

quote:

I've been doing some heavy thinking and asking some friends for advise and I feel that I need to say some things to get them off my chest.

I want to start by saying that I love you. Alot. More than I thought I would let myself at this point in my life. And that I will always do everything I can for you.

But here's the problem; sometimes you make me feel like the scum of the universe. Like there is no other lifeform lower than me. And I've been thinking about the reasons you have for saying the things that make me feel this way and I have come to the conclusion that I truely don't deserve it.

I'm cursed with too much objectivity and so I tend to try to see things in your eyes, but lately, that view seems warped.

A while ago you admitted to being overly critical and mean to me. Well, I wish you'd se that before you say things rather than after.

The things I do for you, I do because I love you and want to help as much as I can. And I do all I can, but you don't seem to see this. Or at least, you don't let it show that you do.

Something you said tonight really rang home. That was "If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you". I hope I don't need to explain why that bothers me.

Really all I wanted was to make sure you were alright and say goodnight.

I've been seeing a reoccuring theme of, 'if you don't want/need it, then it doesn't matter to you'.

Now I'm not a needy person. But if you're going to be mad at me because I want to talk to you before I go to sleep; if that's too much to ask, then I just don't know.

Everything is supposed to go both ways. But alot of times, you only accept, and not give.

I'm not asking for much. I'm not really asking for anything. Just that you appreciate me. I want to to appreciate all the things I do for you. I want you to appreciate the fact that I love you more than anything and would do anything for you.

Basicly, what alot of people tell me is that I need to tell you that I don't feel appreciated. More over, that is exactly how I feel.

Then, some people have told me that I should give you your keys, and dump you. But they don't know about the good times. When it's just you and me, and you make me feel like the luckiest person alive just because you call me baby and say you love me. Because you say I'm yours, all yours; and that you're mine, all mine. I'm on top of the world 89% of the time.

But that 11% just throws me down to rock bottom.

Give her some helpful manuals/list of tools & her car...

Wish her luck.

Good letter, although it really should bea breakup letter, but that is your choice.

I have only one suggestion:

quote:Something you said tonight really rang home. That was "If I wanted to talk to you, I would have called you". I hope I don't need to explain why that bothers me.

I suggest explaining to her that this sentence of hers highlights her complete insensitivity to your needs. She might not actually know why it's such a bad thing to say, and might blow that point off as unimportant, when it is important for you.

From what I've heard, unfortunately, you might have to explain.

thats a good letter but i agree with stab, you should highlight the importance of her not giving a flying fuck about your wants/needs and that she thinks the only things that are important is what is important to her

My girlfriend was exactly like that...

But as stated in a previous thread here... /relationship..

It's really futile. After 3 years she's been that way. Same with yours, the issues will simply change. Always going to be a fight and whine. I say cut the cord. But atleast give her a piece of your mind and put her in her place. HOpefully you instill some decencey in her for the next guy she goes out with.

Best of luck bud, best of luck.

You need to ask yourself a few questions.

1. Can you put up with her being an ungrateful bitch all the time?

2. How long can you last with an extremely selfish person in bed?

3. How much of this behaviour can you handle before you finally snap and beat the fuck out of her? Because I bet even you see that she deserves a good slap...

From what you've written, I have an inkling that she's trying to push you away. I've never met anyone that got mad at their boyfriend for calling them, unless it was in an obsessive manner, which it isn't. And you're fixing her car FOR FREE, for a problem which a shop would probably charge her a fortune, or just tell her to buy a new car.

This is what you should do: give her tools. Slide her underneath the car and tell her "go for it." This will result in one of 2 reactions:

1. She'll freak out about you getting her dirty, what the fuck do you think you're doing, she doesn't know how to fix a car, blah blah blah. Psycho. Hit her with a wrench, dump her and move on with your life.

2. She'll realize that it's tougher than her moron brain thought and she'll forgive you and perhaps be more understanding.

1 is FAR more likely. Good luck dude.

when she bitches next time just go , okay look, heres teh toold do it yourfuckingself, or pay a shop. shut the fuck up you ungrateful bitch. where the fuck would you be with out me fixing your shit car?

then if she doesnt apoligize tow it to her driveway and dump the car and her.

FUCK that bitch!

Now maybe getting pissy cause you're dicking around with her car is one thing, but saying shit like 'If I wanted to talk to you, I'd call you' Is FUCKING EVIL.



And why do you think she didnt answer? I wonder what sort of things/people she could have been doing?



Seriously. Regardless of what the rest of her is like, that's unforgiveable.

It seems like it really is all her her her, 'I'LL call you when I want to talk' shit.. That's not called a relationship where both people love and care for each other.



Fuck that.



And really, just cause she's 'faithfull' doesent mean to say you have to put up with all her shit.

She's not the only faithfull girl in the world, and I'm prettty fucking sure that there are better girls out there for you that can fix their own goddamn fucking cars.

Have her car towed and break up with her. Don't be kind. Tell her exactly what bothers you, and then leave. You sound like a nice person from your posts. However, the way you're talking about your girlfriend, I think you already know that you need to remove her from your life.

If she really is a kinda crazy bitch as she is seeming to be then saying:

Basicly, what alot of people tell me is that I need to tell you that I don't feel appreciated. More over, that is exactly how I feel."

May be a bad idea, makes her think you're talking bad about her to your friends.



O-well, there are two sides to every story, she's out of line, but I bet you have your little things too

We are only getting the one side, sure.

Have you tried boring her poopchute out oversize with your Massive Manly Boring Tool? She could be too 'tight-assed'? She might do well with being machined to a new set of tolerances?

Treat her with love and respect, finish fixing her car for her then once that's done and out of the way finish with her. One day she'll realise where she went wrong.

quote:Originally posted by mysterectomy:

Treat her with love and respect, finish fixing her car for her then once that's done and out of the way finish with her. One day she'll realise where she went wrong.

That's insidious if it works, and if it doesn't then he wasted a lot of time and brain cells.

I dunno what's goin on with her. This morning she called me and appologised and whatnot, then later that day I called her and she seemed mad. I'm copletely clueless... Though, I am pretty stoned right now.

I'll give this more thought in an hour or so.

MM

quote:Originally posted by muffin_man:

I dunno what's goin on with her. This morning she called me and appologised and whatnot, then later that day I called her and she seemed mad. I'm copletely clueless... Though, I am pretty stoned right now.

I'll give this more thought in an hour or so.

MM

She's cheating on you. There was some guy she was interested in, and she needed some excuse to fuck him, so she made one up, got mad at you, and told you to fuck off. Then fucked, and realised she doesn't want to leave you after all, you're fixing her car after all.

People who ring "just to talk" are fucking needy.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:



You seem like a pretty upstanding member. How is it I've not seen you before and you're a 2003 bud like me? Maybe I'm to particular to one forum :\, gear heads ha.

peace.

(See, i'm not always a prick)

quote:Originally posted by Garrett:

People who ring "just to talk" are fucking needy.

And you know what about talking to a girlfriend exactly? Yeah, nothing.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Fuck it. If she's bitching at you for you doing her a favour, give the car back, and let her get fucked over by the shop.

It's clearly what she wants, afterall..

That's how I would handle it. The way she's acting I would probably say something along the lines of "Well you clearly seem to know what your doing, since you think that it could be done faster, you fix it."

Spending money on a tattoo when she can't pay the phone bill... suddenly I don't feel quite so guilty for my somewhat actually useful technology indulgences

quote:Originally posted by acid_drop:

You seem like a pretty upstanding member. How is it I've not seen you before and you're a 2003 bud like me? Maybe I'm to particular to one forum :\, gear heads ha.

peace.

(See, i'm not always a prick)

Hehe, I read gearheads sometimes but I never post. I'd just sound like a complete twat if I did post, I dont know names, I just know that the rubbger thingie is meant to go round the big wheel thing, and if those little doodles come off things might..not..be good.



Garrett, I dont see why people who ring 'just to talk' are fucking needy.

I mean, the guy.is.in.a.fucking.RELATIONSHIP with the bitch, if they're not meant to communicate then what the fuck?!

Frighteningly, even if your partner isnt your best friend, you're still meant to like each other outside of the bedroom and be able to form a decent conversation.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:



Garrett, I dont see why people who ring 'just to talk' are fucking needy.

I mean, the guy.is.in.a.fucking.RELATIONSHIP with the bitch, if they're not meant to communicate then what the fuck?!

Frighteningly, even if your partner isnt your best friend, you're still meant to like each other outside of the bedroom and be able to form a decent conversation.

What can you expext from a guy that's never been in a serious relationship? I mean there is no way he has been. To be as such, a real partner has to be more than a fuck buddy.

Garret, you're an ignorant twat.

quote:Originally posted by half-wit goon:

She's cheating on you. There was some guy she was interested in, and she needed some excuse to fuck him, so she made one up, got mad at you, and told you to fuck off. Then fucked, and realised she doesn't want to leave you after all, you're fixing her car after all.



I agree with this one.

Hire a reputable Private Dick? Richard Diamond or Sam Spade? Have her watched?

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

Goddamnit that's really...realy fucking disgusting.

I'm a girl, and even I know that you do not treat your boyfriend like your own personal fucking car mechanic!.



Fuck it. If she's bitching at you for you doing her a favour, give the car back, and let her get fucked over by the shop.

It's clearly what she wants, afterall..



BTW, guys who know their way round cars are hot.

That's be me. I know my car inside and out. From the shaker to the dual chrome exhaust tips. From the T-Tops to the new tires, which I like to roast like a marshmallow over an open fire on a dark autumn night...

quote:Originally posted by moonmeister:

Hire a reputable Private Dick? Richard Diamond or Sam Spade? Have her watched?

Over here we use the term "detective". "Dick" might have some hidden cannotations.