This is just a general shout out to all the idiots who come in here blaming themselves for the stupid crap that their partner does. You morons really helped me out a while back.

So my neighbor's boyfriend tried to kill her. She came pounding on the door in the middle of the night. I let her in and called the cops. You could see the marks on her neck from where he tried to strangle her.

A few weeks later there was a small gathering around our outdoor fire, and she was there. I honestly didn't have a whole lot of intrest in what the people were talking about, but you can't help overhearing to a degree.

I'm roasting a marshmallow when I hear her start on about how if maybe she hadn't pissed him off by lagging behind at the hardware store (and a few stupid ass likesuch situations) maybe he wouldn't have ended up flipping out on her.

I ripped her apart for being a fucking dumbass. I actualy called her a "fucking dumbass" to her face in front of witnesses, including my mother. I go on about how I see this sort of stupid fucking rationialization out of people on here all the time, and tell her to stop blaming herself and grow the fuck up. Yes, I did in fact tell a 45 year old woman to grow the fuck up.

The point of this is, that's exactly what she needed to hear from someone. Sometimes you can reason with someone, and sometimes you need to beat it into them.

So thank you, fellow Totsians. If not for your innane bitching about stupid shit that's not your fault, stuff that is your fault that you refuse to take responsiblity for, and a slew of stuff that doesn't even matter at all, I would have had neither the experience nor the temper to say what I did.

Saying "he tried to kill her" always seems a bit misleading to me in circumstances like this. It's my opinion that the people who actually try to kill someone usually succeed or a beaten off by a fire poker that was luckily within reach.

Sure it's a bit pedantic but there's a world of difference between assault and attempted murder.

For some people it's just easier to rationalise abuse than it is to escape it.

quote:Originally posted by Forgotten:

Saying "he tried to kill her" always seems a bit misleading to me in circumstances like this. It's my opinion that the people who actually try to kill someone usually succeed or a beaten off by a fire poker that was luckily within reach.

Sure it's a bit pedantic but there's a world of difference between assault and attempted murder.

Apparently she was being strangled. At the very least, that is a halfhearted murder attempt, and possibly more. Legally it would probably hold as attempted murder.

quote:Originally posted by pianoSpleen:

Apparently she was being strangled. At the very least, that is a halfhearted murder attempt, and possibly more. Legally it would probably hold as attempted murder.



Legally yes, but without any more info I expect he strangled her for a few seconds in a fit of rage then let her go.

I've done the same thing to other guys. And I have never considered that attempted murder.

For clarification let me give you an example. I’m not sure on the actual law regarding attempted murder but imagine you were to punch someone. Certainly if you were stronger and more skilled as her boyfriend was to her, you could beat him to death quite easily. But you stop, on that first punch. But by the earlier reasoning in this thread that’s more then enough to constitute attempted murder. Not the fact that you actually tried to kill her, but that you possessed the ability to. So what I’m saying is that unless he was stopped by outside influences it’s just assault.

And to call it attempted murder is just manipulation to garner her favour.



[This message has been edited by Forgotten (edited 10-26-2006).]

This place can be maturing.

In cases of domestic violence, I can totaly understand people trying to blame themselves for their partner beating them.

Because if there wasnt a reason and it wasnt their fault in someway, the horrible truth would be that the partner simply hit out unprovoked. And the thought of someone you love hitting you for no apparent reason is not one many people would like to entertain.