Im confused and right now i feel pretty shitty so i turn to totse for advice. Ok well first off you should know im 16 a guy and im in highschool (grade 12) so theres this new girl atmy school (i'll call her X) so i noticed right away X had a unique style and she was very attractive. I talked to her a few times in class and we were partners for some of the labs. Me and a couple other kids invited her over to come drink and get stoned and that night me and X had this sort of moment where we hugged and she kindof blushed, anyway i decided i would need to hang out with her more because i decided i loved her personality and i could definatly see myself with her.

So we got very close over the last couple months and she got very comfortable around me as she would tell me very personal things and always call me for advice or when she needed to talk to someone. One night as we were hanging out we were lying next to eachother and she moved to ontop of me and we kindof looked at eachother for a moment and she told me she loved me i told her i loved her too, i was very happy because i have been looking for a girlfriend for a long time and i am recovering from a depression (some other personal stuff happened resulting in me getting brain damage... but thats another story)and she asked if i could take her home because it was late so as i drop her off she kisses me on the cheek and leaves. The next time we hung out we got a little drunk and i took her to a spot with a view and we kissed and made out and really connected for about 30 minutes. on the way down from the spot we listend to some mellow music as i drove her home. I had never been so happy she even made a remark about how she can't wait to fuck me haha.

But then things changed, at school we were hanging out and talking and she said "man i love you your dope you make me laugh, and i get to make out with you when im hammered!" so i asked thats not the only reason you made out with me is it? and she said woa uhh i dunno it was just the moment you know so i just said oh alright. and since then we've been growing further appart she told me that i shouldn't count on her and i shouldn't be sad... so i can't tell if she likes me and isn't sure about having a relationship or if it was just some thing that happened. All i know is it really hurts to think you have something with someone only to find out you've been lead on yet again. I can't even put my arm around her anymore she gets up off the couch and does something everytime i try she used to lay down with me and play with my hair and just look at my eyes and i used to hold her and massage her but now.. i hate it i dunno what to do. If anyone has any advice i'd really appreciate some help. thanks.

Hazzuh! First post.

I agree with your own assessment that you've been lead on. Normally I'd say her feelings were genuine but they just changed, she met somebody she likes better, she's begun to treasure the friendship more then a potential relationship etc. But the fact that she said she loves so flippantly means you can’t trust anything she says on the topic.

As for advice I’d say you were to slow taking things to the next level. Just wait till you get drunk again and see if anything more progressives.

But by no means get invested in her.





[This message has been edited by Forgotten (edited 10-25-2006).]

She sounds pretty unstable. In my opinion it's the fact that she told you that she 'loved' you that's fucking with your head. I'm always wary of girls who say they 'love' me when we're in the beginning stages of dating, that word gets thrown around too much nowadays and to guys that take it seriously, it can be damaging if the girl says it for the wrong reasons. Sounds like she said it for the wrong reasons. She is new to the school and may have latched on to you for other reasons, and now that she has her bearings, is trying something new. Really, it sounds like you don't know her too well, which is where the confusion is coming from. The two of you obviously have different views on your relationship and it looks like it's going to suck for you.

I would recommend either a talk with her, or just try to distance yourself from her a little more. But like I said, she sounds unstable.

She's playing a game with you. The only way for you to get back with here (it's sad but it'll work, don't trust your feelings, use your brain), is to take a step backwards. Give her some time alone, and let her come to you.

If you have any other girl friends, hang out with them, don't tell her about it, only if she asks.

thanks for the replies i do agree she is playing a game, also the reason i moved so slowly was there was some other drama befor and we had to wait things out a bit so i was weary to start making moves.