No one cares! Just testing my psychic abilities.

Anyway, for anyone who remembers, I had a bad "break" or "break up" or "break down" (hmm interesting break up break down... hmmm a synonym?). So, I went home for a bit to get my alcoholism undercontol. Now, I'm back at my apartment.

Said girl and I have gotten back together now. Possibly dumb mistake but we shall see. First off, she said she wanted to get back with me, she said she feels responsible for what she made me go through, and that she was being too uptight.

She still wants me to quit smoking and drinking so much, but isn't going to give me any ultimatums (spelling?) anymore. But she wants me to really try.

Now, I haven't drank in 4 days (full of hell), before today. Today we were hanging out and my friends got some beer. I had a couple drinks and she got pissed again. She screamed that I was killing myself and that I hadn't changed.

I wanted to kill her at that point, but I refrained. I told her she doesn't know what it is like to be addicted to something and that I am trying and to cut me some slack. She got pissed and left. My friends and I then put on some episodes of Weeds, and the one "Dead in the Nethers" (I think was the title) came on and I just burst into tears for some reason. I think it was that fucking song at the end, Leona Naess - Ballerina, that broke me or something.

I think I just need to feel loved or something. I don't know. Anyway, am I overreacting to what she said to me today?

It's a really..really bad idea to get back with someone you've broken up with.

You broke up for a reason, yeah?



I can understand. I've just gone through a horrible breakup, and I know that for a while, the urge to phone your ex and beg, plead and get down on your knees for them to come back is something you really have to resist.

Thing is, from the sound of it, she's got back with you out of guiilt. If she thought she was partly responsible for your alcoholism and break down, she's trying to do the 'right thing' by supporting you. But it's not really the right thing to do at all, because it's going to drag your feelings for her out even longer!

Breakups are awfull enough as it is. When the two people still care about each other though, it's even worse.



She might care for you, but wanting to change you so much (ie the smoking and drinking) is going to put even more pressure on you to quit, and the more pressuer you're under, the more you're going to crave your vices.

it's a vicious fucking circle, and she's not helping, especially with acting like a drama whore if you dare to have a few drinks.

Look. I know how bad it feels to know that no one loves you. But going back to an ex isnt going to make them love you, and you certainly arent going to respect yourself for stooping so low.

I still love my ex. Alot. And I still want him back.

But I'll be damned if I'm going to let him fuck up my life a second time, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him take away my freedom again!

short version: yoyobeks a dumb bitch who makes threads threatening suicide then deletes them out of embarrassment, dont listen to her

Why is this thread is SG? Who are you people?

Edit: Ooops... I'm not in SG... Nevermind. Carry on then.



[This message has been edited by The Shady Dealer (edited 10-23-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by A verbis ad verbera:

short version: yoyobeks a dumb bitch who makes threads threatening suicide then deletes them out of embarrassment, dont listen to her

Well I'm so glad I heard something useful. *Picks up big bottle of sarcasm and takes a drink*

"If its over, let it go & wen u wake up it will seem swo yesterday"

SHIT IM QUOTIN TEEN STUPID FUCKIN LOVESICK MUSIC, I NEED A HIT OF 50!

ahh thata better.

Go over there and say BITCH GET IN MY CAR!

Thanks yoyobek. I always liked your threads regaurdless of what everyone else has said.

It just sucks being in my situation right now though. I need someone to lean on, and my housemates aren't really cutting it. One is an alcoholic also and he tells me to stop worrying about alcoholism and that bitch. Hes a bit of a wine guy and very smart, so hes not a tard or anything. The other 2 are a different story. One is a girl and the other one is a guy who is her boyfriend who is constantly saying what she says. He used to be one of my best friends back in the day. He used to post on TOTSE too until his girl told him it was dumb... yeah.

I'm just not receiving too much support at home but, I don't know if it is a bad or good thing. I just need someone there for me when I'm going through this.

I know of a couple girls who I could get with easy, but I just don't know if it would help or no.

quote:Originally posted by The Shady Dealer:

Why is this thread is SG? Who are you people?

Edit: Ooops... I'm not in SG... Nevermind. Carry on then.





haha, I thought this was pretty funny.

Anyway.. ditch the ex.. getting together with someone you broke up with is a bad idea. whether yoyo is a dumb bitch or not.

Though I would listen to her, if that name has any meaning.. She just gets tossed out, and comes back for more, over and over again.

Quit the smoking and the drinking for yourself. All good things must be taken in moderation. So completely quit.. and after awhile, having a drink with a buddy might not be a bad thing.. but I wouldn't recommend it. too easy to fall back into a bad habit.

*licks*

bitter

quote:Originally posted by A verbis ad verbera:

short version: yoyobeks a dumb bitch who makes threads threatening suicide then deletes them out of embarrassment, dont listen to her

And ofcourse, all I ever post about on Totse is that, right? We'll forget my above post, right?

learn to fucking read, you stupid twat.

And considering I've been ten times more helpfull than your nasty worthless shit in this thread, I really think you should shut the fuck up!

Paul Kemp, sorry. I actually delete all of my threads once they leave the first page. It's a compulsive thing.



Relationships are so complicated and difficult. I guess going out with one of the new girls would be a distraction, but I think that possibly you need a break from relationships at the moment. Apart from anything, it would be kind of cruel to your current girlfriend. Sure, she's being a pushy cunt, but she does still care about you. So if you just cast her aside after she'd supported you, karma might come and fuck you up the ass.



I'll post more when I can make what I'm trying to say coherent.

Yeah I know about your "habits" yoyobek, and they don't bother me. I always respected your opinion on S&A, and usually above most others'.

I don't know I just need to find someone who will love me and respect me... Sooo, your free now yoyobek right? Sorry.

I guess maybe I'll have to go stag for a bit. Figure out whats what in my life.

I've been sober for... well, 2 days now. I'm hoping to go much, much further. I hate feeling stupid.

When I had a tough breakup all I could think about was getting back with the stupid bitch..

Now I realize getting back with stupid bitch would have been the worst thing I ever could have done if I had done it.

Actually, if she had done something like that to me, I would have stared back and scowled with that "what a crazy fuck" look on my face. You betcha she wouldn't try something funny again.

GJ on the cut down, what ever happens is gonna happen so just do as you wish. You make the decisions not her, in your life at least. :|

Guys... Im KILLING MYSELF

Bye.

*1 hour later, deletes thread, pretends like nothing happened*

lol Im glad your boyfriend fucked you over, you sad cunt. If I saw you on the street id kick the shit out of you. You will never be loved.

you have a problem. at least you're recognizing it now.

(isn't that the start to some aa meeting? i wouldn't know, but i think it is)

i find it somewhat interesting that you get back with her even though she changed her views for you. isn't that like having a double standard somewhat? you don't want to change yourself for her ("that's stupid, that's not love, etc." you feel) yet when she changes what she feels, you get back with her.

that was probably a confusing paragraph. i'm sorry. finding this post kind of surprised me and confused me and upset me as well. easy girls are not going to solve your problem of not feeling loved. trying to quit drinking for someone isn't going to solve your problem of not feeling loved. and drinking yourself into an oblivion isn't going to do it either.

this is probably cliche, but i shall say it anyways. until you love yourself holden, you are not going to feel loved. and until you become someone who you can love, you're going to have a hell of a time trying.

i wish i had something wise to end this post with, but i'm too upset now