For some reason, I always have troble complimenting people. I haven't said any thing nice to a person for as long as I can remember. I dont even say things like "you look nice today" my friends say stuff like that all the time. Its not as if I dont think about things like that though. I might want to tell a guy he's funny or attractive but then I'll just choke up and say something else. I'm also not a shy person either, I talk a lot....its weird.

I'm a naturally assertive person, I think I have this fear that if I compliment people, they will start to see me differently...I dunno. Its starting to fuck up my social life though.

Be who you are, and not who others want you to be.

Otherwise, you'll be doomed to self hatred.

If you're true to yourself, people will understand and want to be true to you. And when you find someone that works as a friend, you'll be better off.

Just don't go and try looking for donations, though.

Start slow. Tiny complements. If people start to see you differently its most likely for the better.

-F☺rd

quote:Originally posted by Gus:

Be who you are, and not who others want you to be.

Otherwise, you'll be doomed to self hatred.

If you're true to yourself, people will understand and want to be true to you. And when you find someone that works as a friend, you'll be better off.

Just don't go and try looking for donations, though.



Being true to myself means being pretty inconsiderate and icy sometimes. I don't try to be mean to people, I just dont watch what I say sometimes.

Do you care that you might be hurting people's feelings? If you do then stop. If not, then be yourself. Simple.

quote:Originally posted by Sick_Boy:

Do you care that you might be hurting people's feelings? If you do then stop. If not, then be yourself. Simple.

No, its not simple. I've developed this icy demeanor to keep people from hurting my feelings. I'm a completely different person when I'm with people I trust. I want to get closer to people, but whenever I make a concious effort to be nicer I just choke up.

I have that too, actually. I don't even notice that I don't compliment/etc. people... realized it though, while I was stll going out with my gf, and trust me, people defiently notice these things i na big way, she said that she hadn't noticed me saying it much before, which kinda made me feel like shit, really :\. Start small, remember to do it, and it'll get easier and more common, it's a bit of the same assertive-ness and whatnot that thinks that people will see me differently or as weaker if I start. I know it's not the case, but the thought is there. I've also been like this for... too many years now, really, I'd say about 4 or so, bah.

So , what are some good things to say w/out being awkward....ugh...this can only lead to disaster

quote:Originally posted by ThePhoenix:



Being true to myself means being pretty inconsiderate and icy sometimes. I don't try to be mean to people, I just dont watch what I say sometimes.

If that's who you are, then be that person.

But really, you can always change, but you have to REALLY want to change. Not "Oh, I wish I was nicer" but "I WISH I WAS NICER SO SOMEBODY COULD STAND TO STAND ME!!!!!".

I rarely give compliments. Probably because when some one gives me a complimet I'm taken aback and embarrassed. I wouldn't worry too much, compliments are too common place in general.

You're a black girl. Just thought I would point that out since I have nothing relavent to bring to this discussion.

Are you afraid of what their reaction might be?

quote:Originally posted by Pirate Hippie:

Are you afraid of what their reaction might be?

Yes.

i used to be that way. very cold. it made me some "cool" friends. but i never got close to them, and now they are gone.

the relationships you'll value are the ones where you'll both let down your defenses for one another.

I have that, the reason I never compliment people is because I'm scared they'll think I'm coming onto them.

quote:Originally posted by Galbador:

I have that, the reason I never compliment people is because I'm scared they'll think I'm coming onto them.

Soooo...basically I'm paranoid....

I rarely give compliments either. But thats because I think that they are very rarely earned...free compliments feed the ego.

I was a bit like this during the harder parts of adolescence, 14-15ish I guess. What age are you?

quote:Originally posted by Zonko:

I was a bit like this during the harder parts of adolescence, 14-15ish I guess. What age are you?

Im 16, but probably 13 socially haha