How important is monogamy in a relationship to you? I've been trying to debate the positives and negatives of staying monogamous. I've come to the conclusion that extramarital sex might not be a negative thing if it's agreed upon by both partners. However, having an emotional relationship with another person would be detrimental to your relationship. I don't think it should be open season to sleep with everyone you choose to, but sometimes acceptions need to be made to satisfy the needs of you or your partner. However, if your partner thinks otherwise, it's better to stay monogamous.

I will not tolerate infidelity in my relationships. If I ever find out that one of my partners past or present ever has been or is being untrue to me, there will be repercussions. Always have been, always will be.

MLoR nailed it.

Well there are couples who don't practice 1 partner relationships. Most notably the mormons. It just depends on the people. Its not bieng unfaithful if its part of the relationship. To each his own.

^^^ That sounds pretty totalitarian. (MLoR)

I won't tolerate cheating, but I won't think anyone less for caving to desire. In the situation where I am being cheated on, as long as I did not know the guy (as if I did, he would be heavily, heavily disrespecting me) I would end it, but stay in touch.

[This message has been edited by stab (edited 10-20-2006).]

There was a documentary following people who have more than one partner (who in turn have more than one partner) and despite constant denile you coudl see the jealousy between every single one of them.

I don't really mind as long as you're honest. I mean, I mind. I'd be hurt, and jealous. I'd probably wonder "what, am I not good enough?", but I see no reason for the sort of ire it raises in most other people. What I'd object to is the violation of trust, not the actual cheating.

Eeekkk! Dont say such bad words!

But if you are in a serious relationship, other partners are an official no no.

It's odd, 1/4 of people will statistically cheat on their spouse in their lifetime. Where are those people at? I think for the most part, cheating isn't really planned as such, but is more a momentary lapse of judjement. I think alcohol plays a big role in a lot of cases of cheating. There are those who actually do plan affairs out.

I was cheated on once before. My GF was put in a rather uncomfortable situation by a friend of hers, and he took advantage of her. Basically he drove her out into the middle of nowhere and pressured her into sex. I was pretty fucking pissed to say the least, and very dissappointed in her as I had asked her to not hang out with this guy ever again because I was worried he might pull this shit. I did forgive her cause my relationship with her was more important, and no incidences have happened since, and won't happen again.

Now she doesn't hang out with men unless I'm there or aprove of them. It's not that I'm a controlling asshole, but mainly cause she sees that she's vulnerable, and how guys will pull shit if given the chance.

As for me, I'd never ever cheat in my relationship, unless I was offered a threesome that included my fiance.

Monogamy is vital to a relationship that has something at it's core other than lust.

A meaningful relationship demands monogamy because it shows both participants care enough about each other to not be tempted by anyone else.

I demand monogamy. I won't do anything with anyone else therefore I expect that my partner would be able to conrol herself enough.

My monogamy is unquestionable in a relationship. I don't have an issue with threesomes, but I will not sleep with another woman while I'm in a relationship.

It's up to her if she doesn't want to stay monogamous. I like there to be honesty involved and take it from there.

[This message has been edited by Euda (edited 10-21-2006).]

Monogamy is outdated and pointless.

quote:Originally posted by HandOfZek:

Monogamy is outdated and pointless.

Give examples. I don't believe it's pointless. If my girl wants to be with other people in addition to me, she doesn't deserve me, and she should be punished.

quote:Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:

Give examples. I don't believe it's pointless. If my girl wants to be with other people in addition to me, she doesn't deserve me, and she should be punished.

I agree except for the punishment bit. That's like, pretty controlling.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

I agree except for the punishment bit. That's like, pretty controlling.

No. If someone fucks me over in such away, they deserve to pay, whether it happened yesterday or 5 years ago.

quote:Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:

No. If someone fucks me over in such away, they deserve to pay, whether it happened yesterday or 5 years ago.

Ahh I see your point. But what if she wants to be with other people, but is still faithful to you? Theoretically.

quote:Originally posted by stab:

Ahh I see your point. But what if she wants to be with other people, but is still faithful to you? Theoretically.

That would hurt me, personally. If she wanted to be with other people, but still stayed with me and I found out about it, I wouldn't want her.

So you'd let her go?

quote:Originally posted by stab:

So you'd let her go?

I would end the relationship.

It seems the general opinion is in favour of monogamy, but I don't like people stating things like that as fact rather than opinion. Open relationships will not work for everyone, but participating in one doesn't mean you don't love your partner or that you're not satisfying each other fully. It's not about having a replacement, or at least it should never be in my opinion. It also doesn't mean someone is going to fuck everyone in sight if they're permitted to.

I just wanted to point that out because of the relationship I'm in, where we don't have trust problems.

But I know it's not for everyone, or Western society as a whole.

MLoR is a serial killer just waiting to happen.

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

MLoR is a serial killer just waiting to happen.

*waves*

quote:Originally posted by Xiao Mei:

MLoR is a serial killer just waiting to happen.

I wonder how a candle lit dinner with him would go down...

[scene: a romantic italian resteraunt with sterotypical red checked table clothes and wine bottles wrapped in weave]

"Snookums?"

"Yes honey?"

"If you cheat on me. I'll cut you."

quote:Originally posted by MomentaryLapseOfReason:

I will not tolerate infidelity in my relationships. If I ever find out that one of my partners past or present ever has been or is being untrue to me, there will be repercussions. Always have been, always will be.

I can understand how you would feel strongly about your current partner cheating on you, but past partners? First of all, I don't think it would be all that fair to her/them, since technically you are not her/their boyfriend anymore, what they do/did should be of no concern to you...Secondly, why would past girlfriend/s cheating on you IN THE PAST bother you at all? I mean, it's in the past now, right? Although I can certainly appreciate your indignity in having been fooled by someone you trusted.

But that's all in theory, of course. I don't know how I would actually behave, if I were ever to find myself in a similar situation as you. Maybe I would get homicidal, who knows? Heh.

As for the original topic...I don't know; I think we humans have evolved to be primarily monogamous creatures (at least during the initial stages of love, anyway) and polygamous relationships either don't last long, or only very, very few people can successfully maintain them.