Ok, so somehow I've gotten myself into a bit of a situation. I kind of have 3 girlfriends, before you jump down my throat I want you to know I really am not trying to play them or use any of them.

The first one, lets call her #1, I met during the summer from my old job. She is a bit younger, she is 16 and still in highschool, I'm 19 and in college. I didn't really notice how much she really was IN highschool during the summer, she just seemed like a normal girl. But now that shes back in school its like she came out of some show like laguna beach or something, just tons of drama. She is pretty good looking, really nice body, and good in bed but otherwise she is the kind've girl that thinks its wrong if a guy doesn't pay for everything. Also, we have been kind've drifting apart recently, like she is always busy and she never really makes time for me. Its also hard because we live about 30 mins apart. Its also hard because her parents are really strict and she can like never come out with me past 11, forget spending the night.

#2 Is a girl I've known for a while now as a friend but we had stopped talking for a couple months, no reason, just stopped. But the other day we started talking again and she came over last night and one thing lead to another.... This girl is cool, we are into a lot of the same music and she can actually keep up with me in terms of partying. She pays her way and is definatly a little freak in bed, plus she thinks I am amazingly good looking for some reason (I'll post a pic of myself if it helps, I dont know why it would though...) Shes pretty good looking too, plus she is my age so she can actually spend the night and stuff like that. Though I don't know exactly what shes looking for in terms of relationship or anything. However she also goes to culinary school and works constantly as a chef so I won't get to see her that much normally.

#3 Is a really good girl who I met in my mma class. She isn't killer gorgeous but she is kinda cute but she is really inexperienced with everything. Also she does not party at all, she said it doesnt matter to her if other people do, but I can tell that if she knew all the stuff I do it would cause trouble. She is probably the one I need the most help with breaking it off with, just because I KNOW I'm not the kinda guy she should be with. The problem is that I kinda took things too far the first time we hung out outside of class, we didnt have sex, but I'm like the first guy shes even kissed and I think she is kinda attached to me.

I really just don't know how to break it to her (#3) without sounding like I used her or that its anything to do with her being unnatractive (She isn't the hottest girl out there but she isn't bad, but I know she has issues with it...). I just can't stand to think of a good girl crying over me, like when I do I get sick to my stomach. Same with #1, especially since her birthday is this weekend. I just really don't know what to do and I feel like a bad person because I can't decide on what to do. Please help, and thank you for reading all this.

Im in a VERY similar situation. I'm gonna keep it going til i decide. Get her to dump you that will solve your problems.

Oh fsf listen to me im a cunt ><

Wait wait, so these girls are your actual GIRL FRIENDS? Or are they just girls you mess around with?

If I were you, I'd go with number 3. But thats just because I have a strange innocence fetish. It sounds like 2 is your best bet in this scenario. Number one doesnt sound like she needs much of a breakup speech. Just keep contact to a minimum, and she'll get the picture eventually. And you just have to suck it up and break it to the third girl. Remember, the sooner the better.

number 2 is the clear winner, for several reasons.

you are already friends, so you are more likely to have a real connection. it sounds like you have a lot in common. she finds you amazingly attractive, which is usually a sign of a good match if the person is not strikingly attractive from an objective viewpoint. she will be loyal and value you more highly than others will. the sex will also be fantastic. the culinary school thing is a plus, and i'll tell you why. it's a sign that she has her own interests and passions, which you will come to value as time passes. also, she'll be a great cook.

as for number 3, you will only hurt her more if you choose to let her hang on out of pity. i'm sure you can find it within yourself to be respectful about breaking it off, without showing condescension.

number 1 is in high school, and sounds like she'd be a so-so girlfriend for anyone because she's hot and socially capable. however, it doesn't seem like she's a long-term prospect.

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 10-18-2006).]

quote:Originally posted by senorfrog:

Its also hard because we live about 30 mins apart.

Stopped reading there. You're clearly so stupid/pathetic that any of my divine advice would be wasted on you. You'd find a way to fuck it up.

if you don't know what to say to #3 here is my advice.

inform her of your partying style (especially things she will find appalling) and how you've noticed it differs from hers. say you don't think this will work in the long run. point out that you respect her decisions, and maybe fake a bit of self-criticism about your own habits. sum it up by saying that you like and admire her, but just don't think you're compatible because of your differences.

don't give this as a speech. say one thing at a time and allow time for responses and questions in between. don't be detached when speaking, but don't be overly emotional. describe your thoughts as though you were explaining a math problem you're figuring out as you go along. if she contradicts you, hear her out, and then respond with "i hear what you're saying, i just don;t think i agree." allow her to end the interaction on her own terms. if possible, smile/hug her/say goodbye nicely when you part. however, don't attempt to nurture her while you're breaking up. this will come off as condescension and will make her feel small.

this way is not the easiest for you in the short run, but will save her the most hurt. it;s a way of breaking it off without making her feel like it's her fault or she did anything wrong. it sounds cliche, but no one wants to think that they were dumped because of their own personal qualities not being adequate. also, according to what you said, it's pretty honest.

[This message has been edited by lauren7249 (edited 10-18-2006).]