So for those of you who have been following my story....in a rather very shocking and surprising turn of events this happened. She asked me to meet with her one last time because she wanted to explain why she was breaking up with me. During this talk I convinced her that we should stay together but she was still somewhat hesitant and was talking about she knows that we won't make it all the way and yada yada yada...



Anyway, in short, she decided to give us another chance and all was good and we were happily walking back to my place when I kiddingly said, "Maybe we should be friends with benefits, that's what we really want.." and her reaction was not what I was expecting. She was rather amused by it and liked it. She was like "YEAHH?? Maybe...." and we continued talking about it and she was just so excited about it, I was kinda shocked to be honest.

We decided that for now we are bf/gf but when we break up, we'll become friends with benefits because that way we'll still be able to be really close to each other and stuff. On one hand my guy instincts are like WOHOOOOO but on the other hand I feel like maybe she doesn't love me as much as I love her.

What do you guys think?

I think both of you are too immature for a relationship so you should stick with the fuck buddy thing.

'friends with benefits' is a really bad idea..

Because as fun as it may sound, one of you will allways end up getting too attached and hopefull that one day you'll go out again. And when the other person smashes their dreams by fucking someone else... oh boy.

I am afraid I cannot elaborate on the previous posts.

so basically, she's a hardcore christian and...was it that she can't date because of that? and yet she'll be fuck buddies?

i'm confused.

Friends with benefits doesnt work if you love her.

it dosent work. it turns into a rather vicious cycle.

quote:Originally posted by YouLookFourteen:

so basically, she's a hardcore christian and...was it that she can't date because of that? and yet she'll be fuck buddies?

i'm confused.

Sounds like she wants to fuck other guys, huh.

so what hsould i do? decline the offer?

It's better than breaking up man, but you gotta realise that this means it aint gonna be exclusive anymore.

You can't escape that even if you DID decline the offer.

So take what you can get and fuck her, fuck her hard.

yeah the thing is we were breaking up for a very shitty reason because she thinks we will be incompatible in the long run but at the same time we don't want to break up. Right now we're back to normal, we aren't like friends with benefits or anything but the idea that she so gleefully liked it kinda bothers me.

I guess it'll atleast keep us together in some way. And she's not a slutty girl either which is why this is so strange. She is like the sweetest most innocent person ever...I sometimes feel guilty because before she was with me, she hadn't even kissed a guy and it's not like she's completely changed now.

I know she's only willing because it's me and I think even if we were to become "friends with benefits" our connection would keep her from wandering off with other guys which I really dont' want to see while i still love her.

This is the strangest thing i've ever been faced with.

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

'friends with benefits' is a really bad idea..

Because as fun as it may sound, one of you will allways end up getting too attached and hopefull that one day you'll go out again.

Quoted for FUCKING truth.

DON'T DO THE FUCK BUDDIES THING. TV has played it up to be something awesome: Sex without commitments. Well, for me atleast, I tend to get attached to the girls I have sex with, in one way or another. I wouldn't hesitate to say that being fuck buddies was one of the worst mistakes of my love life- all the feelings of attachment, with none of the right to feel them.

~Saint947

she's NOT the "sweetest most innocent person ever." she's just acting like it.

this is going to end in disaster.

quote:Originally posted by Saint947:

- all the feelings of attachment, with none of the right to feel them-

Worded perfectly.

she doesn't love you .

You may love her, but she doesn't love you.

And fuck buddies don't usually work out. Eventually you end up dating that person. In your case... AGAIN

It will not work

Once you break up. and surely due to her fault, just wait till she comes back to you for the "benefits". Fuck her, let her try to stay at your house, then proceed to kick her out of there.

Don't forget to yell at the top of your lungs: "BEEEETCH!!! No'w I'm tellin' everyone!!1oneleventh!"

That way you won't break her heart. You'll wipe your ass with it and then desinegrate it back from matter to energy! ZOMG!

Bitch* degradation FTW!



*Just your common teen cockgrabber or mindgame insecure women who satiate their ego's instead of getting fucked.

Take it from me, just get out now. The relationship is already over, and it's just going to hurt you to stay in it. She made up her mind already. It's only a matter of time until she breaks up with you again. Don't bother with fuck buddies, because it will ALWAYS end, and usually it ends badly.

quote:Originally posted by DirtyBlanket:

she doesn't love you

QFT

It is awesome at first but in the end you will hate yourself for doing it. So...DON"T!

End of transmission.

I recently just started the whole friends with benfits thing, i found myself starting to feel for this lady and sometimes would get jealous when she was around other guys etc..but ive learnt now that whatever we do together is to just enjoy the moment and thats it.

Just learn to enjoy it if you do becomes friends with benfits and try not for too much kissing and cuddling either

Its bad if you all just got back together and are already making plans to be friends with benefits if it doesn't work, thats setting yourselves up for failure.

You made the suggestion, did you not? In the future you might want to give more thought to what you you really want before you speak.

But, yes. I would at the very least say that you are more emotionally invested than she is at the moment. Those things can change, and often do.

quote:Originally posted by black_squirrel:

So for those of you who have been following my story....in a rather very shocking and surprising turn of events this happened. She asked me to meet with her one last time because she wanted to explain why she was breaking up with me. During this talk I convinced her that we should stay together but she was still somewhat hesitant and was talking about she knows that we won't make it all the way and yada yada yada...



Anyway, in short, she decided to give us another chance and all was good and we were happily walking back to my place when I kiddingly said, "Maybe we should be friends with benefits, that's what we really want.." and her reaction was not what I was expecting. She was rather amused by it and liked it. She was like "YEAHH?? Maybe...." and we continued talking about it and she was just so excited about it, I was kinda shocked to be honest.

We decided that for now we are bf/gf but when we break up, we'll become friends with benefits because that way we'll still be able to be really close to each other and stuff. On one hand my guy instincts are like WOHOOOOO but on the other hand I feel like maybe she doesn't love me as much as I love her.

What do you guys think?

you're gonna crash and burn... burn a LOT... and hurt REALLY bad.. from experience, just cut all ties if that is what happens. don't torture yourself with FWB bullshit

quote:Originally posted by yoyobek:

'friends with benefits' is a really bad idea..

Because as fun as it may sound, one of you will allways end up getting too attached and hopefull that one day you'll go out again. And when the other person smashes their dreams by fucking someone else... oh boy.

Yeah.. i kinda know about that one

quote:Originally posted by Toddler Fondler:

I'm in sort of a similar situation, but not really. A woman I like (really, really like) said she doesn't want to get involved as boyfriend or girlfriend, but wants to have a friends with benefits relationship. Part of me is like, "Woot, I get to have sex without any emotional involvement," and the other part of me is like "But isn't love what you're after?" I'm sure it will be a disasterous voyage of self-sabotage and regret, but god damn I'm horny. There's my 2 cents. What matters more to you? Your dick or your heart? It's a lot easier for me because we never WERE boyfriend or girlfriend, even if I want to be. We'll see I guess. Just don't plan on being this way forever, because it will probably bite you in the ass.

I was in the same situation. But I said no deal to the FWB. And told her I'm okay with not talking to her any more, just cutting all ties. So I did. And with in weeks, she came back to me, and we got together. Bf/gf. It's fucking fantastic.

ok no problem if its mutual and both of you just want some good sex. only two issues to think about: play it safe so no one gets STDs or pregnant. also, emotions might get in the way and it might just end up being a relationship. i don't know how but you have to find a way to make sure no one gets hurt from this arrangement.

quote:Originally posted by SilentMind:

Friends with benefits doesnt work if you love her.

Yeah. Hes right. Once you're "over" her... it can be a hell of alot of fun, but if either one of you is still attached to the other, it'll be hell.

quote:Originally posted by im5hella5cool:

Yeah. Hes right. Once you're "over" her... it can be a hell of alot of fun, but if either one of you is still attached to the other, it'll be hell.

QFT, I broke up with my ex for over a year. No contact whatsoever, then I gave her a shout and things went from there. Make sure both of you agree that it's purely physical, because emotions hurt. Also make sure to set some ground rules to avoid jealousy/bonding.

Peace

wont work

wont work

quote:Originally posted by Fanglekai:

Take it from me, just get out now. The relationship is already over, and it's just going to hurt you to stay in it. She made up her mind already. It's only a matter of time until she breaks up with you again. Don't bother with fuck buddies, because it will ALWAYS end, and usually it ends badly.

QFT.

Let me tell you something, if I could go back in time, I would kick my fucking ass and suck up the fucking pain I avoided so much, and just break up with my ex the first time she wanted it.

So be a fucking man, break it off with her, because its already over, the longer you wait, the harder its going to be. And the more its going to fucking suck.

Ive been browsing these forums for sometime...and registered just for this post...

DO NOT do this! This is a horrible HORRIBLE idea!

I went through the same thing as you, almost exactly. Met girl at church, pretty religous girl..Dated her, totally changed her. She was a "virgin till marriage" (not anymore)

anyways, she went off to college, and decided to end the relationship like a month before she left...we entered the friends with benefits stage, which was rad for a while, but it just left us attached to each other just as much as before, and made things THAT much harder when she did leave, and even harder for me when she found some boyfriend this year...

in short, DONT do it unless your willing to be fucked in the head emotionally for quite a while...because its going to suck, hard.

I tried the "friends with benefits" thing, it didnt work to well. Eventually she denied she ever said it (it was actually her idea) and claimed i didnt like her at all and was just lookin to get some.

you can try, might as well. Doesnt look like your going anywhere fast.