Ok, this may take some explaining.

We are a tight knit group here, the DC/Baltimore rave community. I love my fiance very much. I try to trust her, and normally do.

Her ex is a trance dj in the DC rave scene, and I am a producer of Drum and Bass. Anyway, they are still very good friends. Sometimes I think they are a little bit too close.

I usually don't think anything is going on at all. I'm probably just a jealous prick. They call and txt each other, and shes inviting him to be part of the wedding, etc. She has a picture of him framed at her house, though I dont think she knows its there. It is among a mass of clutter.

I don't know how comfortable I feel with this whole situation. Every time we go to massives, he is there. He always runs up and hugs her and he and i end up making small talk. Problem is, i think i might be a little bit pissed off. But it goes far deeper.

I really don't know how to explain it, or maybe I just don't want to admit it to myself....but i think i'm a lousy lover. i have been told otherwise, but for some reason i think i am lousy now.

I am also annoyed with the fact that she was with a black guy (i am NOT racist, i swear to god...thatrs why its confusing) for two years who was just using her....for two years. She knew it too. He straight up told her for two years that he didn't want a relationship. I think she kept it up with him because he had access to drugs, and a 4 foot schlong.

I cant even begin to explain it.

I'm really upset, and feeling quite insecure.

bump

Alright. I think this will be the only thread i will be taking serious for tispy, on account of ... I'm tipsy.

Well just like every other guy, you're jelous. No suprised. I know I would be.

Simplest thing to do would be to talk to her. Cuase listen, the longer you keep it inside and let 14 year-olds give you advice, the more jelously and doubt will be compiled.

There might be an arguement, but it's JUST an arguement. If you are mature about it, the arguement will not lead anywhere. If you are BOTH mature; THERE WILL BE NO ARGUEMENT.

Another option would be to start overpowering him, lets say he's on the phone with her. Fuck him, just completely distract her from the phone call. That picture in her room? Pick it up and be like "what's this?" don't wait for an answer and just be like "well, you don't need it anymore". This would be the asshole approach I would not recommend.

The third option I could give is; make friends with the guy (pretend ofcourse) you know your gf so you know what interests he might have aswell. Form a friendship, then your girl will for sure not sneak about. Unless she's an idiot.

And the Last option I could provide is to talk to the guy instead of your girl. Just get out alone, be pushy and threatening, but also friendly at the same. Question, yet command. Just ask him to stay away but also tell him. Know what I mean?

Well hope this actually helped. Good Luck.

I can see where you're coming from Monox.

But listen: If you are engaged to this girl it is EXTREMELY important that you talk to her about this NOW. How do you think you're going to have a marriage if you can't even talk about what's on your mind?

I know to you it may seem unreasonable and you don't want to show her that you kind of disapprove of her good friend. But she will understand. She has to understand. If this is something that concerns and bothers you she SHOULD consider it.

Also...work on being a better lover. Obviously you're going to feel insecure if you feel like you can't satisfy your girl.

Fuck her until she screams your name! It ain't that hard. Just keep fucking no matter what. If you bust a nut just keep going.

I know that part of why I'm so confident with my girl is because I know I can make her come like noone else.

Dude, she's YOUR fiance. Not her ex's. Not the black guys. Yours.

Dude, I'd assume you trust her or you wouldn't be getting married. If she says nothing is happening, and you trust her, then I doubt anything is happening.

By the way, how do you like DC? I might be going to law school there next year, but I haven't heard a single good thing about the area.

DC has a great edm scene....that's about it.

and there's also always stuff to do.